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MANY SECRETS REVEALED ; 



OE £l9^t/ 



Ten Years Behind the Scenes 



IN WASHINGTON CITY. 



BY A WASHINGTON JOURNALIST. 



"^■--^^ v^ 



\- 



COPTRIGHT SECXTBED, 




WASHINGTON, D. C. 

1885. 



• \ 



DEDICATED 

TO 

SAMIXJEL P. BTJXJ1.E3R, 

The brilliant young journalist^ who., xvhen located at the 

National Capital^ never hesitated to attack 

official corruption^ and expose knaves 

of high and lozv degree. 



PEEFACE. 



A book without a preface is like a man without a nasal adorn- 
ment, or a dog without the regulation caudal appendage. I shall 
utilize this to remark that I have undertaken the task of laying 
bare the iniquities and shortcomings of those in high places, inas- 
much as the Washington press appears to be completely subsidized, 
and does not possess the temerity to assail the cancer of corrup- 
tion which has well-nigh destroyed the good name of the nation. 
I shall be more than repaid if the changed Administration ceases 
not until the scuryy characters to whom reference is made in these 
pages are remanded to the shades of private life. 

After this edition went to press I became possessed of additional 
information of so important a character as to warrant the publica- 
tion of a second edition, which will appear about April 10th. 

Persons who are cognizant of well-authenticated instances of 

official corruption will greatly oblige by imparting the same to me 

before March 10th. 

THE AUTHOB. 

Washington, D, C, January, 1885. 



TABLE OF CONTENTS. 



Chapter. Page. 
f I. Washington City Unveiled 7 



^11. 



So-called Washington Society 15 - 

III. The McGabrahan Claim 18 

IV. Carl Schurz as a Civil Service Reformer 22 

V. The Power of the Lobby 24 

VI. The Escapades of a Washington Lawyer 30 

VII. "The Colonels, the Majahs, and the Jedges." 33 

VIII. Southern War Claims 37 

IX. Office Brokerage 42 

X. " Desi ruction and Reconstruction " 45 

XI. The Conspiracy against the late Kenneth Rayner 49 

XII. Arthur's Administration Reviewed 53 

XIII. The Average Congressman 57 

XIV. "My Dear Hubbell'' 60 

XV. So-CAH,ED Civil Service Reform 64 

XVI. Dudley versus Calkins 67 

XVII. How Official Patronage has been Dispensed 69 

XVIII. How THE Indians have been Robbed 72 

XIX. Pawn and Curbstone Brokers 77 

XX. The Fate of the Republican Party 80 

XXI. The Star Route Conspiracy 105 

XXII. The Arrest of Whitelaw Reid 110 

XXIII. The Quintescence of Machine Politics 116 

XXIV. John Sherman's Methods in 1880 122 

XXV. The Bogus Weil Claim against Mexico 128 

XXVI. " To the Victors belong the Spoils " 131 

XXVII. Journalistic Jobbers 135 

\J XXVIII. Social and Political Life in Washington 139 



OHAPTEK I. 
WASHINGTON CITY UNVEILED. 

BEMINISOENOES AND FACTS REGARDING THE PROMINENT GAY LOTHARIOS 
OF THE FEDERAL CITY — RICH, RARE, AND RACY READING. 

A residence of ten years at the National Capital has fully con- 
vinced me of the dangers attendant upon the concentration of such 
vast powers and patronage in the hands of a few men. Indeed, a 
knowledge of many of the attendant ills from which the Nation 
has suffered for many years, and which are growing in enormity 
year by year, have contributed much toward impairing that high 
standard of excellence which prevailed in the purer and better 
days of the Republic. 

The domination of one political party for a quarter of a century 
has been of incalculable injury to the country. Under our pe- 
culiar system it is essential that there should be frequent changes 
of administration. As the waters of the mighty sea are kept from 
stagnating because of its continual commotions, so the mutations 
of politics inure to the nation's good. The admirable Mr. Jeffer- 
son appreciated the dangers likely to arise from a perversion and 
abuse of Federal power and patronage, and in many of his incom- 
parable disquisitions on the Constitution he points out the great 
advantages likely to accrue from the existence of nearly evenly 
divided political parties, remarking in one of his ablest papers that 
"under our system of government a majority of one is better than 
a majority of a thousand." But, whatever may be the cause, there 
is no denying the fact that a deplorable state of immorality and 
venality now prevails in Washington. 

Jobbery and corruption stalk abroad, striking down all who at- 
tempt to place a barrier in their way. The man with a small but 
an honest claim before Congress or the Departments is kicked aside 
as though he were a cur, while the bloated bondholder, after the 
manner of a Gould or a Huntington, is granted access everywhere, 
receiving wherever he goes the truculent homage of those in high 
places. It has long been an axiom among lobbyists at Washington 
that a claim is practically worthless that is not large enough to 

7 



8 WASHINGTON CITY UNVETLED. 

furnish a corruption fund that would amount to at least $100,000. 
What a sad picture is now presented in ^Vashington cityl Under 
the changed administration will the same ills prevail which the 
Scriptures tell us are a reproach to any people ? There is more in- 
trigue carried on in that city than the average American ever 
dreamed of. The very nature of the surroundings tends to create 
this deplorable state of immorality. With a population of 200,000 
souls, there is not a manufactory, and those without bank accounts 
have to look to the various Departments of the Goverrunent for 
employment. It is indeed strange that the better classes of Wash- 
ingtonians have not made an effort to redeem the reputation of the 
Federal city in that regard. The climate is mild, the water-power 
abundant, and with accessibility to the markets. North, South, East, 
and West, it is indeed passing strange that cotton, tobacco, brush, 
box, tub, and other manufactories have not long since been estab- 
lished, thus affording employment for the poor of both sexes. An- 
nually there are hundreds, yea, thousands, of young girls who, for 
want of employment, prostitute themselves for bread. The class 
OF MEN WHO LEAD THEM ASTRAY do Hot, as a rule, bclong to the hum- 
ble walks of life. Capitalists, lobbyists, mail contractors, and 
members of Congress are foremost in inducing them to enter upon 
lives of shame. Talk about your New York dude, but for downright 
effrontery commend me to certain congressmen for the character- 
istics that distinguish a veritable Blue Beard. How happily doth 
the Scripture describe these men when it speaks of the whited 
sepulchre, which outwardly is all beauty and comeliness, but in- 
wardly is filled with dead men's bones and all uncleanness. 

The favorite method of those congressmen and others who em- 
bark in the business of leading young girls into evil courses is to 
obtain them employment in the Departments. Occasionally a young 
girl, possessing nerve and shrewdness, makes fair promises until she 
is ensconced in her office, when she snaps her fingers in the face of 
her ■' influence," telling him that she will report the matter to his 
wife, or lay the facts before the public in an opposition paper, if 
she is dismissed from her position. The scoundrels who make it 
a business to thus wrong young girls are arrant cowards, and the 
fear of the tongue of a plucky office girl has made many of them 
tremble like asj^ens. There are cases where young girls have gotten 



WASHINGTON CITY UNVEILED. 9 

offices, and held them, too, by means of such threats. Many in- 
competent girls are known to be retained in the service through the 
demands of their "influence," lest the aforesaid girls create a 
scandal, by telling how and from whom their appointments were 
obtained. 

But the immorality of Washington is not exclusively confined to 
baldpated congressmen. Business men are also engaged in the 
nefarious practices which are a curse and a reproach to the Na- 
tion's capital. One of the principal merchants in that city is 
known for the number of his liasons, which almost equal in variety 
those which made glad the heart of the wise Solomon. This man 
has A PENCHANT FOR DEPARTMENT GIRLS, and ou almost any pleasant 
evening he may be seen driving one or more of them out behind a 
spanking pair of blacks. This fellow actually keeps a room gor- 
geously furnished over his store, where he spends much of his time 
with women of questionable virtue. He is rich, and lavishes 
money on his favorites, who fare sumptuously every day. His 
peccadilloes are well known to high officials, who wink at his prac- 
tices, and hold themselves in readiness to promote his favorites to 
the highest grades in the service. 

Let me say to the maidens of the country that "Washington is no 
place for such of them as are not blessed with good looks. Merit, 
capacity, industry, count for naught unless supplemented by a 
pretty face and winning ways. Indeed, I have heard it hinted that 
a pretty girl is a great promoter of sound governmental policy. 
There are those who affect to declare that not a scheme of legisla- 
tion or a wise financial stroke of policy has originated and been 
carried through to a successful termination in Washington that did 
not owe its inspiration to lovely Department girls. Cabinet officers 
and statesmen of lesser grade love to dwell to their familiars upon 
the solacing and soothing effect of these girls after the arduous du- 
ties of the day are over. The versatile and accomplished Col. W. 
P. Wood, late Chief of the Secret Service Division of the Treasury, 
relates how he was sent for by a Secretary of the Treasury and 
told that he (Wood) must stop the immoral practices being indulged 
in by Treasury employes. " Very well," responded Wood, " I will 
commence right here in your room, Mr. Secretary. You must stop 
associating witli that blonde, and you must eschew the charms of 
that dashing young widow I saw you with last night." 



10 WASHINGTON CITY UNVErLED. 

It is needless to add that Wood never heard further complaint, 
and the improprieties of the Treasury continued as of yore. It has 
not been six years since the sister-in-law of a First Assistant 
Postmaster-General was caught in a doubtful position with the 
chief of a division in the Post-office Department. The particulars 
of this scandal, together with the likenesses of the pair, were 
duly published in the Police Gazette. As a truthful chronicler of 
important events, I am constrained to assert that the little finger 
or Fox, OF the Police Gazette, as a conservator of good morals, is 

FAR heavier than THE LOINS OF ALL THE CABINET OFFICERS COMBINED. 

Men and women in Washington, as elsewhere, live in mortal dread 
of that paper, and the fear of seeing their faces and antecedents 
appear in it induces many of them to mend their ways and lead 
exemplary lives. 

But I must devote some space to the leading immoral abodes of 
the American Paris. These dens of vice are within pistol shot of 
the State Department, the most aristocratic locality in Washington. 
It was to one of these caravansaries that a very high official is 
alleged to have taken a prominent society woman, the particulars 
of which ai)peared at the time in the Washington papers and in 
those of Pittsburgh, Pa.; Louisville, Ky., and in the Police Gazette. 
The houses referred to are said to be owned by a contractor of 

the name of , who is on intimate terms with a high District 

official, M'ho protects his vile tenants and enables them to ply their 
avocations under the very shadow of the White House. 

It is, indeed, a disgrace to the American people that all of the 
disreputable denizens of the Federal city are located in the very 
centre thereof. Just one square south of Pennsylvania avenue, 
between 11th and 14th streets, are located nine-tenths of the Wash- 
ington bagnios. Without going by a circuitous route it is impos- 
sible for respectable people to reach either the Smithsonian grounds 
or the Agricultural Department without running the gauntlet of the 
Washington demi-monde. Is it j)ossible that such a low class of 
people and their j^atrons have influence enough to protect them in 
the heart of the Nation's Capital ? As a matter of fact the value of 
South Washington real estate is deteriorated because many persons 
do not care to reside in a locality which would necessitate their 
passing through that notorious locality. Whose duty is it to rid 



WASHINGTON CITY UN\BILED. H 

the city of the presence of these offensive peoijle ? It is hoped 
that Mr. Cleveland's Commissioners of the District of Columbia 
will lose no time in making them " move on," as their continuance 
in that locality will be a national shame and a disgrace. 

THE WIDOW OLIVER 

should be informed that she has exercised a reformatory influ- 
ence in Washington. The vim and energy with which she hauled 
Simon Cameron over the judicial coals has had the tendency to at 
least make many Solons more cautious. A few months ago some 
worthy, but poor Pennsylvania ladies came to Washington to ob- 
tain employment, and invoked the services of Don Cameron in 
their behalf. Don waxed wroth, and swore like a trooper. He de- 
clared that the experience of his old father made him suspicious of 
everything in petticoats, and he would decline to aid them. These 
girls soon returned home, taking their reputations with them, 
vfhich would not have survived long had they stopped in the 
modern Sodom. 

HOW PRESIDENT HAYES SOLD HIS SAW-MILL — HOW THE MAN WHO 
DREW MR. TILDEN'S SALARY HAD AN EYE TO BUSINESS. 

A few months before Hayes' nomination for the Presidency, he 
possessed himself of a saw-mill, which he erected among the wild 
lands in Northwest Ohio. It was a natural investment for a man 
of Hayes' caliber, because he had proved a failure as a lawyer, and 
there was little else for him to do besides engaging in the ever-con- 
venient saw-mill business. Or perhaps he argued that, as he was 
unfitted for any other pursuit, he would prove a successful manipu- 
lator of a saw-mill, on the principle of the Tennessean who was sure 
that his canine was a good coon dog because he was fit for nothing 
else. Hayes soon discovered that there was not much money in 
sawing logs, so he looked around to find a purchaser for his lumber- 
producing establishment. After a little effort, he succeeded in dis- 
posing of his establishment of productive industry to Messrs. Le 
Due and Rogers, two business men of his acquaintance, in whose 
ability to run a saw-mill Hayes had great confidence. "Surely 
these men will be able to run the enterprise satisfactorily, and thus 
get me out of this saw-mill scrape," argued the embryo President. 
But Le Due and Rogers met with no better success in converting 



12 WASHINGTON CITY UNVEILED. 

pine and ash boards into cash than did Hayes. Meanwhile Hayes 
became President, and as the saw-mill was still unpaid for, and as 
Kogers and Le Due were running deeper and deeper into debt 
every month, with the prospect of ever being able to pay for it 
growing beautifully less, as time flew by Hayes bethought him of 
the idea of making the United States settle with him in full for the 
vexatious concern. So he lost no time in tendering the Agricul- 
tural Bureau to Le Due and the private secretaryship to his fraud- 
ulency to Rogers, with the stipulation that they should monthly 
turn over to him one-half of their salaries, to be credited to the ac- 
count of the saw-mill. Le Due and Eogers soon discovered that 
they could not live in a style becoming high-toned officials on the 
little left them after meeting the saw-mill demands, and so one day 
they stated their embarrassment to Hayes, requesting that he would 
allow them to return him the mill, together with all payments made 
thereon. At that juncture, when the Chief Executive of a great 
nation was parleying in his mind as to the best course of pursuance 
with regard to the saw-mill, in stalked Mr. Carl Shurz, whose au- 
ricular adornment caught the sound of the word "saw-mill.'* 
** What is that, Mr. President," asked Schurz ; " are you about to 
invest in a saw-mill?" "No, indeed," responded Hayes, "I am 
just trying to dispose of one, but I confess it is rather down-hill 
business, as men capable of running such an establishment seem 
rather scarce hereabouts." " I have a solution of the whole mat- 
ter," remarked Schurz ; " there is no better civilizer and christian- 
izer of the Indians than a saw-mill. I verily believe that the * saw- 
mill ' is destined to eventually solve the vexed Indian question, 
and I would be glad to buy it for Red Cloud and his people." 
After a few remarks, the bargain was struck, and Schurz ordered the 
Indian Bureau to pay $12,000 for the troublesome saw-mill, which 
soon went farther West on its mission of civilization, very much to 
the gratification of Rogers and Le Due, who at once pictured for 
themselves the better times they would have with the whole in- 
stead of one-half of their monthly stipends. 

Mr. Samuel J. Tilden doubtless remembers many characteristics 
of Hayes — how he would draw his salary always in advance, placing 
the money in bank, where he was allowed one per cent, a month 
for its use ; but he never knew, perhaps, this true story of how he 



WASHINGTON CITY UNVEILED. 13 

disposed of his saw-mill. The good people of the Nation often won- 
dered what were the merits of such a brace of idiots as Le Due and 
Rogers, that they should have been placed in charge of such re- 
sponsible trusts, but the mystery is now cleared up, I hope, to their 
entire satisfaction. Wherever this volume may reach Messrs. Le 
Due and Rogers, whether in the forests of Michigan or among the 
well-tilled regions of Ohio, let them not forget the episode of the 
saw-mill, from which they may extract the pleasing moral that a 
man who soon expects to become President is an unsafe person 
from whom to purchase a saw-mill. 

THE DEVICES OF A CLAIM ATTORNEY AND HIS WILY CONFEDERATES. 

It has not been ten years since a bold design to extract money 
from the Federal Treasury was thwarted by the inflexible integrity 
and nerve of the head of the nation's exchequer. It appears that 
three or four old fossil lobbyists, distinguished by their red nasal 
appendages, and by their readiness to stej) up to the bar and take 
a smile " whenever asked," concocted a scheme to blackmail a Sec- 
retary of the Treasury, and force him, under the threat of exposure, 
to i)ay a claim of a very doubtful nature. The agency employed by 
them was a dashing frail creature, whom they imported from West 
Virginia. She is described as having been a beautiful brunette, 
with liquid black eyes, and a complexion that would rival a ripe 
peach. Young, beautiful, and vivacious, she was seemingly just 
the medium required for making old " money-bags " open the vault 
of the Treasury and permit the old barnacles referred to to fill their 
pockets from the national coffers. Attired neatly, but not gaudily, 
in the weeds of a widow, the siren appeared before the head 
of the Nation's exchequer and earnestly begged that she might 
be employed in an humble capacity, intimating by her bewitching 
smiles and amorous glances that she would reciprocate by granting 
the Secretary any favor in her power. The Secretary was im- 
pressed by her winning ways, and, to make a long story short, gave 
her a minor clerkship, promising to visit her at her residence on 
18th street the evening following. True to appointment he rang the 
door bell at the siren's boarding-house, was met by her and ushered 
into her modest apartment. 

In about twentj' minutes he heard loud and boisterous talk- 
ing, and could distinctly overhear threats by seemingly enraged 



14 WASHINGTON CITY UNVEILED. 

bullies as to what they would do to the illustrious deceiver of a 
lone widow. Suddenly the door was burst open by a negro con- 
federate, who carried off the Secretary's hat. At this juncture one 
of the lobbyists placed his mouth to the keyhole, when the follow- 
ing colloquy ensued : Lobbyist. " This is a nice .»iace for a Secre- 
tary of the Treasury to be. We have now caught you fairly, and 
intend to force you to go home without your hat unless you at 

once consent, in writing, to pay the claim by twelve o'clock 

to-morrow." Secretary. "I appreciate the fact that I have fallen 
into the hands of a d — n set of scoundrels. You may degrade 
and disgrace me ; but, as the custodian of the Nation's Treas- 
ury, I will see you all in h — 1 before I will consent for you 
to rob the Government of a cent." The Secretary was then 
permitted to wend his way homeward, a wiser if not a hap- 
pier man. The aforesaid lobbyists were never prosecuted, be- 
cause their intended victim wanted to avoid a scandal, but their 
names were known to the ' ' boys " about town, who often 
"joked" them about their failure to use the widow's charms as a 
key for unlocking the Government's strong-box. The details of 
this scandal are well known to many members of the Washington 
bar, from the most distinguished of whom, whose office is in the 
Evans building, I first heard of the disgusting affair. Of course, 
the Chief of the Secret Service was put upon the siren's track, and 
under threat of prosecution she left the city, and is now probably 
plying her avocation in other parts. 

I shall be more than repaid for these exposes if the knowledge of 
them by the general public shall result in a higher standard of 
morals for the public man of the future ; and if it does not, it is 
high time that the intelligent and virtuous women of the country 
were elected to office as a check on the immoralities of public men. 

It has been exceedingly disagreeable to have to recount these 
unpleasant truths. I have awaited for years the exposition of these 
abuses from the Christian men and women of the capital. Only 
when I became fully convinced that these immoralities were des- 
tined to go unrebuked, did I determine to expose them. I am 
willing to bear the scoffs and jeers of the " holier-than-thou " crew 
if what I have written results in the purification of the public 
service. 



15 

CHAPTER II. 
WASHINGTON SOCIETY. 

THE 8CURVV CHARACTERS WHO GAIN EASY ADMITTANCE 

THERETO. 

Reader, I would be derelict in my duty as a faithful chronicler 
were I to fail to devote a chapter to so-called Washington So- 
ciety. Shoddy, shoddy, shoddy is the ruling spirit in Washing- 
ton. Birds of passage from all quarters of the globe here do 
congregate. The sole requisite of admission to our best society 
is good clothes and a gaudy display of jewelry. A beaux is re- 
garded especially happy, and is always eligible, who sports a 
diamond, genuine or paste. I have known young men who were 
admitted to the most select circles who had absolutely nothing 
to recommend them but an inordinate degree of brass — an ulster 
that quite covered their patched "swell clothes," and who sported 
the requisite regulation imitation diamond pin. Marshall Jew- 
ell, when acting as Grant's Postmaster General, seemed to have 
formed a proper estimate of these society creatures ; for when he 
gave a reception on a notable occasion, he huddled the above 
class into an ante-room and stuffed them with sandwiches which 
they washed down with a poor article of sherry, while the " up- 
per crust " regaled themselves in the parlors with Mumm's best 
and costly confectionery. 

It is unnecessary for the ordinary adventurer to bring letters 
of introduction when he visits Washington. He might bring a 
dozen letters from the best known people in the States, but if 
the average Washington delle discovered a defect in the fit of his 
ulster, or if his necktie does not correspond with his raiment, he 
would be inexorably tabooed. 

Judge Warden, of Ohio, an eminent jurist and journalist, who 
acted as private secretary to Andrew Johnson, relates with great 
interest the shortcomings of the Washington society people* 
Among other notable cases of shoddyism he cited the case of a 
notorious lawyer, who, after "doing" New York City, removed 
to Washington in 1874. Judge Warden had known him as an 
unprincipled adventurer in Gotham, and judge of his surprise 
when he found him ensconced in a fine house, beautifully fur- 
nished, in one of the most aristocratic precincts in Washington. 



16 WASHINGTON SOCIETY. 

This old whited sepulchre had actually made victims of real es- 
tate agents, furniture dealers, grocers, etc., and without the ex- 
penditure of a dollar found himself at the head of a magnificently 
furnished residence. The woman whom he passed off as his wife 
was a notorious New York character who had rioted at the low- 
est haunts of the Bowery. The winter of '74 and '75 was nota- 
ble for the brilliant receptions at Washington, and none of them 
excelled in grandeur those of the aforesaid old reprobate, whom 

I shall designate as Judge His receptions were attended 

by the wives of U. S. Senators, Justices of the Supreme Court 
and the Court of Claims, Members of Congress, Chiefs of Bureaus, 
&c. It was in the midst of these hilarious entertainments that 
Judge Warden quietly breathed into the ear of Justice Mathews 
that Judge J's house was not just the place for Mrs. Mathews to 
visit. Thereupon Mrs. M. told Mrs. So and-So, and Mrs. So-and- 
So told Mrs. Somebody who the J's were, and those brilliant re- 
ceptions came to a sudden end. A few months since this Judge 

was lodged in jail, where he repined for a mouth because 

he was too characterless to furnish bail to the small amount of 
$500 for his appearance at court. Judge Warden also recounts 
how a notorious male procurer from New York, accompanied by 
an adventuress, engaged an elegant house on F street, near the 
Treasury, which was nightly frequented by eminent statesmen 
and officials of lesser note. At one of Hayes' receptions this man 
and woman joined the throng of promenaders and persisted in 
mingling among respectable people. Judge Warden called the 
attention of the presence of these offensive people to the master 
of ceremonies, who quietly walked up and ordered the old pro- 
curer and his female accomplice to leave the White House. The 
old scoundrel grew red in the face and his beard trembled with 
indignation as he swore that he would not leave ; that he was 
quite as good as the Senators and Judges who frequented his 
house, and that if he was forced to retire he would call the 
names of six Senators and Members who spent the previous night 
in his abode. It is needless to add that the old scamp was per- 
mitted to remain, lest he create a great scandal by mentioning 
the names of six prominent habitues of his caravansary. Let 
me say to the young man who wants to cut a splurge without 
any cash that Washington City is the place, above all others, for 



WASHINGTON SOCIETY. 17 

him to speedily repair to. The people here like to be duped, 
either in a financial way or in society. He must have a fair ad- 
dress, must be able to dance the German, must have dudish man- 
ners, and must be able to please the society young ladies by 
gushing small talk. If he can fill the above requirements, there 
is no reason why he should not become a veritable Washington 
society lion, and bear off the palm at all social gatherings. True, 
he must be prepared to mingle with greasy Italians and filthy 
Japanese and Chinese legations, for of such is Washington so- 
ciety especially proud. But the better way would be young man 
to give Washington a wide berth, as no honor can be derived 
from mingling in a society which is composed principally of 
whited sepulchres and unprincipled adventurers congregated from 
the four corners of the globe. 



18 

CHAPTER III. 
BILLY McGAR ARAN'S CLAIM. 

HOW A BRAVB ♦AND WORTHY MAN HAS THUS FAR BEEN SWIN- 
DLED BY HIGH OFFICIALS. 

A most worthy, but a villainously treated man is Billy McGar- 
ahan, the legitimate owner of the New Idria quicksilver mine in 
California. The evidence is voluminous and conclusive that Mc- 
Garahan was the first preemptor of that valuable property. The 
great and good Abraham Lincoln acknowledged the validity of 
his claim, and directed his Commissioner of the General Land 
Ofl&ce to prepare the papers which he designed to compel the 
Secretary of rhe Interior to sign, thus restoring to McGarahan 
the possessions which the New Idria Company had fraudulently 
deprived him of. But before the land warrants could be per- 
fected, the great Illinoisian fell at the treasonable hands of 
Wilkes Booth, since which time nothing has been done in the 
premises and McGarahan has been deprived of property which is 
unquestionably his. This claim antedates the late war, and so 
certain were many Northern capitalists that McGarahan would 
eventually be placed in possession of his own, that they gener- 
ously raised a purse of $50,000 and presented him, with the ex- 
pectation of soon being reimbursed at a princely rate of interest. 
In vain did McGarahan besiege Congress and Congressional com- 
mittees, praying that he miarht be granted a hearing, and offer- 
ing to produce the proofs of the validity of his claim. Month 
after month and year after year did he frequent the corridors 
and committee rooms of the Capitol, until his last dollar was 
spent. He then organized a joint stock company, and by the 
sale of stock continued the unequal contest, for the New Idria 
Company had possession of his property, worth many millions, 
and were fighting him with his own money. Still Congress and 
the Interior Department declined to afford him relief, and finally 
the outlook became so gloomy that Billy could no longer sell his 
stock, when the last means for supplying his exchequer were cut off. 
It was then that yenal Congressmen commenced the practice of 
donating small sums to the claimant for his support, knowing 
that they would have to stop their bleeding process of the New 
Idria Company as soon as Billy McGarahan retired frou the con - 



BILLY MCGARAHAN'S CLAIM. 19 

test. It; is a fact well known to the Washington lobby that for 
the past twenty years the New Idria Company have divided out 
at least $300,000 annually among Congressmen and Cabinet offi- 
cers, and thus blindfolded justice, to the end that they might 
continue in the possession of their ill gotten wealth. Therefore 
it can readily be understood why the average Congressman 
should be willing to subscribe -flOO toward McGarahan's support 
when he knew that by keeping the claimant in the field he 
would be enabled to pocket at lesast fifty times that amount. 
Not only did the New Idria Company bribe Congressmen and 
Cabinet officers, out they also debauched nearly every prominent 
journalist at the Federal Capital. One of the most costly pur- 
chases they made of the latter class was Douu Piatt, an unscru- 
pulous Ohian, who had grown gray in the lampooning business 
in Washington. He edited a paper called The Capital, in which 
he ridiculed and lampooned McGarahan unmercifully. The 
brave Irishman finally allowed his wrath to get the better of his 
discretion, and so he sallied forth in search of the offending 
Piatt, whom he caught in the Senate lobby, where he proceeded 
to pummel him in the latest pugilistic style. As thick as hail 
rained the blows upon the face of the astonished Donn until Billy 
was finally ''hauled off" by Senators Saulsbury and Burnside, a 
brace of peace-loving solous. After the fracas it was found that 
Piatt's left optic was entirely closed, and hss visage frescoed in 
the most approved style. Never were citizens more rejoiced over 
an occurrence. Bonn's hand had long been against all of them^ 
and theirs' were certainly against him. Grave solone, who had 
long cherished the deepest animosity against the piratical Piatt 
for the unmerciful castigations they had received at his hands, 
rejoiced and were exceeding glad. They even presented the 
plucky Irishman a gold-headed cane and a well-filled purse as a 
slight token of the illustrious public service he rendered in flog- 
ging their old persecutor. Even Marshall Jewell, remarkable for 
his dignity, became voluble, and publicly informed McGarahan 
that he was a National benefactor. Donn retired to a harbor of 
safety to repair his rigging, and from the awe inspiring journal- 
ist he became the laughing stock of the hotel lobbies. The old 
rounders, who were formerly demoralized even by the mention of 
Piatt's name, now assumed an air of bravado, and declared that 



20 BILLY MCGARAHAN S CLAIM. 

they always knew that he was a coward. From a live lion he 
was suddenly transformed into a dead canine, and those who be- 
fore trembled in their boots when his paper appeared, were ready 
to give him a kick and send him faster on his downward flight. 
Poor Donn never recovered from the mortification of that flog- 
ging, and the last heard of him he was hiding at Mac-a Cheek, 
Ohio, ''under a barn." Such is the simple story of one of the 
most barefaced robberies that was ever perpetrated in America. 
The failure of Congress to impeach high officials who stand in 
the way of this worthy claimant and have long prevented him 
frem obtaining justice, is a crying shame; but nothing better can 
be expected of a body of men, many of whom have reaped a rich 
harvest from the New Idria Company. 



21 

CHAPTER IV. 
CARL SCHURZ AS A CIVIL SERVICE REFORMER. 

REMINISCENCES OF HIS MALADMINISTRATION AS SECRETARY OP 

THE INTERIOR. 

Mr. Carl Schiirz is an easy-going fellow, whose sunny locks and 
nasal appendage speak plainly enough thdt he is from the Fader- 
land. It is said that he left his country for his country's good, 
and that he retired from TeutoDic soijl between two suns. In the 
course of events he turned up in the United States, after having 
lived as long as he safely could in England. In the midst of the 
great civil war he appeared at Washington iu the role of an office 
seeker, and was made a fall- fledged Major General by Mr. Lin- 
coln. His military record was couflned to dress parades and to 
the mapping oat of wordy campaigns, in which he peculiarly ex- 
celled. It was once said of him on the fl.oors of Congress, by a 
Connecticut man, that he was " a general without a single vic- 
tory, a lawyer without clients, and a statesman without a single 
triumph." Before Hayes, the infamous, had been waited upon 
by the Cincinnati Convention Committee and informed of his 
nomination, Schurz visited him at his home in Fremont, Ohio, 
and drove a sharp bargain whereby the "Datch tramp " was to 
be given a seat iu the Cabinet. That was one of the few promi- 
ses made by Hayes that he kept. In due time Hayes, by aid of 
the Returning Board, entered the White House, and Schurz seat- 
ed himself in the Interior Department. No sooner was he en- 
sconced in that high oflSce than he set about to show the public 
how great an ass he could make himself under the guise of a 
civil service reformer. He turned things topsy turvy, and insti- 
tuted so many innovations that old and faithful employes were 
seriously hindered in the discharge of their official duties. He 
instituted the system of subjecting messengers and watchmen to 
rigid examinations. Men whose duties consisted in carrying let- 
ters and parcels from one office to another, and who were expect- 
ed to guard and protect the public property, were required to go 
before examining boards and answer such questions as the fol- 
lowing: ''What is the distance of Venus from the sun?" "Name 
the principal rivers in Germany." "What is the population of 
Ashantee ? " etc. Indeed it is said that it was during one of those 



22 CARL 8CHURZ AS A CIVIL SERVICE REFORMER. 

examiDations, when the watchmen were drying to answer those 
knotty questions instead of being at their jjosts of duty, that the 
Patent Office fire occurred. That valuable public building would 
not have been destroyed had Schurz permitted the watchmen to 
remain at their posts of duty, instead of subjecting them to a far- 
cical civil service examination. To show how impracticable a 
man Schurz was, it must be stated that he completely lost his 
head during that fire, and was seen to pitch mirrors and chande- 
liers out of the windows, while he carried andirons and fenders 
down stairs and carefully placed them on the sidewalk. Schurz 
affected to cherish the most supreme contempt for machine poli- 
ticians. He frowned upon the attempt of anybody to get office 
unless the office was Schurz himself. Especially was he " down 
on" the carpet-baggers from the South, although he was a well 
known bird of passage himself — a sort of a prince among carpet- 
baggers. His master, Hayes, was the creature of the Southern 
Returning Boards, yet Schurz would not permit such men as 
Wells, Anderson, Cosanore and Kellogg to even enter his pres- 
ence. The manner of fraud he was may be illustrated by the 
following anecdote : Mr. Zach. Chandler, the author of the as- 
sertion, " Hayes has 185 votes and is elected," was especially anx- 
ious to have one of his henchmen appointed to a clerkship in the 
Interior Department. He knew it would be futile to ask his ap- 
pointment, and so he resorted to the following subterfuge : He 
made the young man file his application with Schurz's appoint- 
ment clerk, and the next day he appeared before the "Dutch 
tramp" when the following colloquy ensued: Chandler. " I un- 
derstand, Mr. Secretary, that a young man named Brown, from 
my State, has filed an application for a clerkship. I have called, 
sir, to protest against his appointment. He has no Republican 
influence, and is only supported by two Democratic Congrefsmen. 
I make it a rule to oppose any man in my State who is on good 
terms with Democrats, and I hope, sir, that you will aid me in 
preserving a proper degree of party discipline in Michigan." 
With this little speech Mr. Channler retired, bidding the " tramp " 
a gracious " good-bye." Mo sooner was Zach. fairly out of the 
Interior Department building than Schurz sent for one Stiles, his 
appointment clerk, and directed that Brown be given a $1,200 
clerkship. Chandler's ruse was a complete success, and many a 



CARL SCHURZ AS A CIVIL SERVICE REFORMER. 23 

time did he make the *' Stalwarts" roar with laughter as he re- 
lated how he had made a "d n fool" of Civil Service Re- 
former Schurz and secured the appointment of one of his young 
henchmen. Among other acquaintances Schurz had a good friend 
in the peron of a Dutchman of the name of Freund. This Freund 
was a good caterer, and soon found out that the best avenue to 
Schurz's affections was down his throat. He appointed Freund 
caterer for the Interior Department and issued an order requiring 
that all of his clerks should take their lunch in the building. Of 
course they understood the purport of the order, and every day 
at twelve o'clock they would tile into Freund's establishment and 
fill themselves with saiir kraut, stale cheese and pretzels. Next 
to catching his clerks and cramming cold victuals down their 
throats, this mandate of Schurz was just the thing. The ''Dutch 
tramp" feathered his nest while in Hayes' Cabinet, and it hus 
bnen openly charged in the press, and never denied, that for and 
in consideration of Schurz's official action in certain Minnesota 
lands, Villard, the railroad magnate, gave him a controlling in- 
terest in the New York Evening Post. This charge has often 
been made in the Washington BepubUcan and the New York Sim, 
and if it were false it was certainly in order for the " tramp " to 
deny it. Schurz is the monumental fraud of the age, and nobody 
but a villainous character like Hayes would ever have dreamed 
about elevating him to a Cabinet portfolio, a position for which 
he was manifestly unfitted. 



24 

CHAPTER V. 
THE POWER OF THE LOBBY. 

INFLUENCE OF THE THIRD HOUSE NOW AND FORMERLY — THE 
METHODS OF UNCL.E SAM WARD AND JOE STEWART — TOM 
SCOTT, HUNTINGTON, AND JAY GOULD— THE YARNS ABOUT 
BEAUTIFUL FEMALE LOBBYISTS. 

The business of lobbying has greatly changed since 1872 and 
1873. Before that date men of social and political influence were 
employed to look after business pending in Congress. Uncle 
Sam Ward was proud of this title, Rex Vestibuli. But in reality 
Sam was only a genial, enjoyable old man who entertained hand- 
somely in a variety of ways. He studied the peculiarities of the 
leading men in both houses, and if they had any whims and no- 
tions that could be legitimately gratified, the old man made it 
his business to gratify them. Some were fond of the table, and 
Uncle Sam fed them. Occasionally a few were literary iu their 
tastes, and here the many-sided old man was strongest. If they 
loved rare books he furnished them through his friend Bernard 
Quaritch, of London. He could tickle the fancy and please the 
vanity of the poetical with neatly turned complimentary verses. 
The lovers of fine liquors — the wine bibbers, the brandy drink- 
ers, and whisky guzzlers — Sam could cater to after a fashion that 
would bring him right into their very heart of hearts. Uucle 
Sam never dealt in base bribes — that he left to the common herd. 
He appealed not to avarice or cupidity, but to the brains or 
stomach. He was an accomplished gentleman, experienced in 
the practical affairs of life. He had been brought up to trade in 
his youth, had traveled and wandered everywhere in mature life. 
The best story Uncle Sam ever told me about himself was how 
he learned in three weeks to speak an Indian dialect. He was 
the owner of a ferry in California, as I recollect, running it him- 
self. He made a bet with .i miner that he could learn any Indian 
speech in three weeks. An old Indian chief living near Sam's 
cabin knew all the dialects of the California tribes. Of course 
be was fond of fire-water. Sam supplied him in limited quanti- 
ties, or jusfc sufificient to warm up his old heart and loose his 
toDgue, and then plied him with questions. " It was just a ques- 
tion of memory and flexibility of tongue," said Uncle Sam. '' In 



THE POWER OF THE LOBBY. 25 

less than three weeks I could have made myself understood by 
any Indian in Califorornia." The old man's strong point was his 
intimacy with leading Senators. There were some of them who 
loved royal good brandy, and the very best that could be found 
in the world Uncle Sam would provide. He was not lavish with 
it. He knew too much to waste such precious stuff even on the 
two brandy epicures of the Senate. He reserved the choicest 
article to warm their obdurate hearts when he wanted particu- 
larly to get their attention. He always studied carefully the 
subject he wanted to interest them in, and made his points in a 
terse, epigrammatic way that would interest and amuse them. 
On one occasi^^n a friend of mine was fortunate enough to be 
presented with a couple of bottles of old Monongahela whisky 
bottled in 1840. The legend was that the rye from which it was 
made grew on the hillsides of Western Pennsylvania in 1820. 
He gave Uncle Sam a taste of one bottle, and after sipping the 
oily liquid, and smacking his lips a few times, he made my friend 
tell him v/here and how he got the stuff. Nothing would do but 
he must have the unopened bottle. A few weeks afterward my 
friend received two cases of choice old Madeira, with a note from 
Uncle Sam, saying: '' That bottle of old rye got me the two votes 
I needed in the Senate." 

Joe Stewart, who was long the big boss of the lobby, was a 
very different sort of a fellow. He was a physical giant — more 
than 6 feet 2 in height, measuring 44 inches about the chest, and 
weighing fully 260 pounds, lie was the most conspicuous man 
on the streets, in the hotel lobbies, or about the corridors of the 
Capitol. He was a strong man intellectually, but uncultured 
and unaccomplished in any way. He was a bold and reckless 
gambler in gold and *8tocks in the exciting days of 1863-4-5. 
One day he would be rich and the next week without a dollar. 
He made $60,000 by one operation in gold, and oought a carriage 
and pair for one of his friends, paying $4,500 for the outfit. The 
next day Joe had to borrow money of this friend to put up as 
margin on another venture. His greatest operation was the man- 
agement of the old Pawnee and Leavenworth Railroad bill — the 
precursor and pioneer of the Union Pacific. The projectors of 
the latter had to deal with Joe, and the deal was to exchange 
their Government guaranteed bonds for the old issues of Pawnee 



26 THE POWER OF THE LOBBY. 

and Leavenworth. It was these securities that brought the Union 
Pacific's subsidy through Congress, and Joe made most of the 
bargain. There was very little diplomacy about Stewart. He 
was what might be aptly termed the Sullivan of lobbyists. He 
was not a bad lawyer. He had the faculty of what, in slang par- 
lance is termed " catching on " to the weak points in a case. He 
was in the habit of dropping into the Supreme Court room and 
listening to arguments. On more than one occasion he "caught 
on" to cases which yielded him something handsome. It was in 
this way that he got the idea that the heirs of Jumel living in 
France were entitled to the property the old Frenchman had left 
in New York. He took in with him the Marquis de Chambrun, 
who went to France, hunted up the heirs, and made contracts 
with them. A queer story could be told about this litigation, 
which has recently been settled. 

I said the business of the lobby had greatly changed since the 
seventies. So it has. I remember well during the Credit Mobil- 
ier investigation when it was popularly believed that all the 
crooked Congressmen were scared to death and that a measure 
the least bit suspicious couldn't get a vote in the House. Sam 
Randall said to me one day, triumphantly, after Van Trump, of 
Ohio, had made a raid on a certain scheme : " All we have to do 
is to wave the black flag at them and they take to their heels." 
And yet at this very time the Pacific Mail subsidy was quietly 
going through. John W. Forney was dickering with Dick Irwin, 
not exactly for Randall's vote, but to keep him from voting at 
all. Fortunately for Randall's fame he did vote and against the 
bill. But Forney got |25,000 for his supposed services. There 
was, however, a very small fraction of tlie $600,000 spent by Ir- 
win to get the subsidy, paid to men on the outside. Forney and 
Donn Piatt, Lyman Ellmore and all the outside strikers, got less 
than $100,000. At least $500,000 went directly to Congressmen— 
to Representatives and Senators. It was, moreover, disbursed by 
Congressmen. Irwin knew nothing more than he told. He made 
his bargains and paid the money, but where it went he never 
knew. Of course he had his suspicions. He knew what votes 
were changed. The committee that investigated the scandal got 
as far as the Third National Bank, where the checks werecasbed, 
but there the scent grew cold. The cashier could not remember 



THE POWER OF THE LOBBY. 27 

who the men were who identified Bill King. They were two 
members of the House, and King was not much more than the 
stakeholder. Of course he got some of the money, but only a fair 
commission. 

All of Huntington's operations in Washington were conducted 
by himself. The Central Pacific Railroad has always retained at 
an annual salary an agent at Washington. It paid Dick Fran- 
chot, ex- Member of Congress from New York State, a salary of 
$25,000 a year. He was a bright, capable and shrewd man, but 
his business was simply to find out and report to Huntington. 
He could attend to routine matters in the departments and make 
himself generally useful and agreeable. Having the privilege of 
the floor, he had facility of access to Members which an outside 
fellow lacked. It is a great deal easier to chat with Members in 
the cloak-rooms or at their desks than to run about town and 
take your chances of finding them at their rooms. In the course 
of one afternoon an ex-Member can see and talk with twenty 
Members on the floor of the House or in the cloak-rooms, and 
gather all ths news and gossip he wants. It would take an un- 
privileged lobbyist nights and nights to find that many at home. 
Now, the private and luxuriously furnished retiring lobby in the 
rear of the Speaker's desk is a capital place for quiet conferen- 
ces. Formerly this was open to correspondents, but four years 
ago, when the new rules went into effect, it became to the news 
purveyors terra incognita. They have never had sufficient influ- 
ence to gain access to its secret precincts. And yet Mr. Hunt- 
ington never visited the Capital without spending a few hours in 
that sanctum sanctorum of the Houvse. After the death of Frau- 
chot, Charley Shirrell, who formerly lived on the Pacific coast, 
became the resident agent of the Central Pacific. He was allowed 
a clerk and messenger, one Boyd, who for a long time was assist 
ant doorkeeper of the House, and lost his place because Dick Ir- 
win gave him a few hundred dollars tor being clever to him while 
he was buying the Pacific Mail subsidy through. Shirrell is a 
clever fellow, and attentive to the interests of his employers, but 
he never ventures to do business on his own hook. He reports 
to C. P. Huntington, and if the Members can't conveniently take 
a trip to New York Mr. Huntington comes to Washington. Some- 
times he prefers to come here to having the Members visit him in 



28 THE POWER OF THE LOBBY. 

New York. He is a thrifty man of business, and it is often 
cheaper to come here than to pay the expenses of several Con- 
gressmen. I remember on one occasion another New York capi- 
talist who had busiDCss before Congress one winter told me that 
all through the session of Congress, whenever certain Southern 
Congressmen visited New York he had to pay their hoi;ei bills, 
and it was astonishing how many extras were included in those 
bills. During the consideration of the Thurman Pacific Railroad 
funding bill in the Senate, Jay Gould came to Washington to 
conduct in person his campaign against it. He occupied a suite 
of rooms at the Arlington, and every night visited Senators at 
their houses and rooms. Some queer stories are told about the 
check he displayed in visiting more than one Senator who was 
supporting the bill. Neither he nor Huntington squandered any 
money on the outside strikers during that contest. If it is true 
that Huntington charged up $600,000 for expenses in Washing- 
ton, one thing is certain — very little of it was spent indirectly. 
But the story seems to me ridiculously absurd. If Huntington 
spent $600,000 on account of the Central Pacific, it is certain that 
he saw to it that Gould spent as much. You don't catch that 
shrewd Connecticut Yankee letting Jay Gould come it over him 
in that way at any game. Does anybody believe $1,200,000 could 
be spent in Washington by Huntington and Gould without ac- 
complishing their purpose? That sum of money would be suffi- 
ciont to buy at least two Congresses. It is true that Dick Irwin 
paid $600,000 for one, but he was neither a Gould nor a Hunting- 
ton. There have been a great many clever stories written about 
ladies being employed by corporations to lobby for them. An 
imaginative correspondent wrote a picturesbue description of a 
wonderfully beautiful woman Jay Gould brought here to work 
on Senators. She was described as tall, sylph-like in form, a 
classic face, and a wealth of brown hair. She dressed in Worth's 
most exquisite costumes, and whenever she made her appearance 
in the ladies' gallery of the Senate she was the cynosure of all 
eyes. She daily held levees in the marble room of the Senate — 
doorkeepers and pages danced attendance upon her, and first one 
and then another Senator held seances with the mysterious lady. 
It was all fiction — every bit of it— except that a tall blonde wo- 
man was about the Senate side of the Capitol a great deal during 



THE POWER OF THE LOBBY. 29 

that session of Congress. She was not beautiful, and not even 
very attractive looking. I doubt whether Jay Gould ever saw 
her. You can see her almost any day on the streets of Washing- 
ton, and I am sure no man of good taste would turn around to 
look after her as she passed him. She came here from Pennsyl- 
vania after having sojourned there for a time. Her birth-place 
wes a little village on the eastern shore of Maryland. I recollect 
another story about the wonderful doings of a Mrs. White in the 
lobby. It was all stuff. There was such a woman who came 
here, the widow of an ex-army ofiQcer, who had been appointed 
an luternal Revenue collector in one of the Southern States, and 
died, leaving his accounts in confusion. She managed to get a 
bill through Congress relieving his bondsmen and leaving her a 
small pittance in the final settlement. She afterward married 
Frank Brooks, who several years ago was a noted character about 
Washington. Sho was not much assistance to Frank — he didn't 
need any, being fully capable of managing the men he came in 
contact with. A Mrs. Mason, formerly residing here, had some- 
thing to do with the sale of condemned arms by the Government 
to agents of the French Republic. It is said that she secured 
from Belknap the order for the sale of the first lot, but she made 
very little money out of it. The only time I ever heard of her 
making a big strike was in connection with the owner of the 
contract for printing bank notes to the Columbia Bank Note 
Company. But the scheme that Congress has to contend with 
this V. inter is the whisky in bond bill. Two years from January, 
1884, tax on whisky now in bond to the amount of $72,000,000 
will have to be paid if Congress does not interfere. The enforced 
payment, it is claimed, will break every distiller in the country 
and bring on a financial paaic. Several years since the whisky 
men formed a pool to rontrol the price of whisky, and to do that 
it was necessary to control production and keep all but a certain 
quantity off the market. Of course such a scheme contemplates 
also the control of Congress sooner or later. The last day of 
grace Was July 6, 1884, on $26,000,000. A big pile of money. 



CHAPTER VI. 
THE ESCAPADES OF A WASHINGTON LAWYER. 

Bit AD Y AND DORSE Y'S STRATAGEMS TO CALL OFF THE DOGS OF 
WAR — A STORY WITH A MORAL. 

When the Star route proceedings were first instituted against 
Brady, Dorsey & Co., one of the Government counsel was X, a 
dapper little lawyer, whose chief characteristics were a blowsy 
auburn wig and an inordinately bad breath. Brady & Co. saw 
that they were being slowly but surely drawn into the meshes of 
the law, when they boldly resolved to capture the aforesaid X, 
he of the wig and bad breath, aud thus secure themselves against 
threatened conviction for robbing the Government. Inasmuch 
as the Government was paying X a handsome per diem they con- 
cluded that it would be impracticable to purchase him outright 
with star service gold, aud so they resolved to resort to intrigue 
and stratagem. The aforesaid X had once beeu a shouting, howl- 
iug Methodist, aud, indeed, old Mary landers declare that a few 
decades ago he was an eloquent expounder of the scriptures, who 
could exclaim " amen," at the close of a felicitous prayer, with 
all the unction of tha truly pious. Such were a few of the ante- 
cedents of this disciple of Blackstone, whose efiforts for the Gov- 
ornmenti, Brady & Co. resolved to neutralize. To that end they 
sent to Texas for a young womao, comely in appearance, and as 
bland as a child, to entertain and interest X during the most im- 
portant era of the Government investigation of the Post Office 
Department records, prior to the trial of the Star-route cases. 
Our heroine registared at the leading Washington hotel, and af- 
ter supplying her toilet with several needed articles she called at 
X's office all radiant with smiles. She represented herself as a 
Texan heiress, who possessed valid claims upon valuable proper- 
ties iu that State. So important was the matter involved that 
she was unwilling to entrust its management to local attorneys, 
but was desirous of securing the aid of a lawyer of National rep- 
utation, such as was embodied in the person of the distinguished 
X. It is needless to assert that X was highly complimented by 
the pretty speech of his fair client, and forthwith ordered a new 
wig and invested a few dollars in a huge paste headlight. At 
this juncture our wily heroine tendered X a retainer of $.500 



THE ESCAPADES OF A WASHINGTON LAWYER. 31 

which had been giveu her for that purpose by the Star-route con- 
spirators, but the gay old barrister spurned the otfer, declaring 
his readiness to serve her without money, even esteeming it a 
great honor to have so beautiful a client. In response to her 
pressing invitation X visited her at her hotel parlor, and as inti- 
macy grew on apace he made bold to view the inside of her 
chamber. Dorsey, Brady & Co. were delighted with the ruse. 
X spent all of his week days and Sundays with the bewitching 
blonde, and apparently his most foreign care was the preparation 
of the Star-route cases. The Government management of the 
Star-route cases at once began to languish, and the whole thing 
would have died out had not X been dropped as special counsel 
and Hon. R. C. Merrick employed in his stead, who infused new 
life into the cases and brought on the trial, the particulars of 
which are familiar to the public. But there is no denying the 
fact that she was the means of saving Brady & Co. In her be- 
witching way she extorted from X just the information the con- 
spirators wanted and also furnished them copies of letters, and 
in two instances original documentary evidence, the possession of 
which enabled the Star-routers to snap their fingers in the face 
of justice, and emerge from the trial with a verdict of " not 
guilty." It was the possession of all the details of this scandal 
that prompted Attorney General Brewster to dismiss X and em- 
ploy Merrick in his stead. So completely did this fair adventur- 
ess hoodwink X that she actually persuaded him to journey all 
the way to Texas, only to find on his arrival there how egregious 
an ass he was made by a sharp woman. He not only found out 
that she was a bold, bad woman, thoroughly adept in handling 
susceptible swains after the manner of himself, but he also 
learned that she was under indictment in the Lone Star State for 
blackmailing a minister of the gospel and for other violations of 
law. The pretty part of the story is that when X went to her 
native town in Texas and began making inquiry about her myth- 
ical possessions, the young bloods, cowboys, et id omne genus came 
to the conclusion that he was one of her confederates in crime, 
and had he not skipped the town between two suns the probabil- 
ity is that he would have been treated to a coat of tar and feath- 
ers. Our hero of the bar returned to Washington in anything 
but an enviable frame of mind, and for several days kept in se- 



32 THE ESCAPADES OF A WASHINGTON LAWYER. 

elusion. But the boys about the City Haii got wind of the out- 
rageous manner in which X was undone by the Texan siren, and 
many were the sallies of wit that they got off at his expense. At 
first he threatened to have her arrested as a suspicious character, 
but she soon brought him to terms by declaring that she would 
" blow" on him through the newspapers. Meanwhile Brady and 
Dorsey, appreciating the delicate and successful service she had 
rendered them, obtained for her a clerkship in the Land Office, 
where she now serenely reposes, with no labor to perform save to 
sign the pay-rolls once a month, which she does with alacrity. I 
have refrained from mentioning her name because she is a wo- 
man, and because it is none of my province to make disclosures 
that would result in the purification of the Washington depart- 
ments. Moreover she is no worse than hundreds of others who 
are kept in office by " peculiar " influence, but who do not possess 
the ability to "put up" as clever a job on a Government attor- 
ney as did our Texan heroine of the sunny tresses. 



33 
CHAPTER VII. 
THE COLONELS, THE MAJAHS, AND THE JEDGES. 

HOW THEY WHILE THE HAPPY HOURS AWAY. 

Around the lobbies of the leading Wanhiugton hotels may daily 
be seen thirty or forty Majahs, Colonels and Jedges, who tell stale 
stories, and manage to eke out a miserable existence as the pa- 
trons of free lunch counters. Many of these gentry have seen 
better days — have occupied seats in Congress or upon the bench. 
When remanded to the shades of obscurity by their discerning 
constituents they managed to muster up energy enough to bring 
them to Washington, where they joined the vast throng who 
manage to live without work, ever watchful, Micawber like, for 
something to turn up. The devices resorted to by this class to 
get their meat and drink at somebody's expense, are very clever, 
and show that at some time they must have possessed minds far 
above mediocrity. We know one of this class who has resided 
here for twenty years, occupying a three story house in the West 
End ; bis children always well fed and comfortably clad, who 
has not done an honest day's work during that time. He is a 
veritable Mulberry Sellers, and it is a wet day that our hero is 
unable to make a million, in his mind, before breakfast. Meet 
him when you may, he is ready to unfold a mammoth scheme, 
with "millions in it." He is either interested in a newly discov- 
ered gold mine, or else he is to have a half-interest in a good 
claim which is certain to run the gauntlet of the Holraans at the 
next session of Congress. '' In his mind," he organizes joint stock 
companies on paying gold mines, issues a half-million of stock, 
and armed with the worthless trash presents himself to some un- 
happy acqiiaintance whom he has bled on innumerable occasions, 
and asks a further loan of a trifle of a hundred or two. One of 
the aforesaid Jedges hails from Oregon, where he eat on the 
bench and was once balloted for for United States Senator. He 
is a good talker and an excellent drinker, and has never been 
known to fail to come to time when asked up to the bar to " take 
a smile." He was secretary of the Greeley National Campaign 
Committee, in 1872, and at the end of that, to him, disastrous 
campaign, he conceived the idea of getting up and working 
thupugh, the claims of Texans against Mexico for houses burned, 



34 THE COLONELS, THE MAJAHS, AND THE JEDGES. 

cattle aud horses stolen, etc. Through his agents iu the Lone 
Star State he would learn of a case, say twenty years ago, a 
Texan had a cow and calf stolen by a marauding Mexicaa. By 
a course of reasoning, that if the cow had not been stolen her 
natural increase in twenty years would have been several hun- 
dred, he presented a series of claims amounting to ^10,000,000- 
Between 1874 and 1880 he besieged Congress day in aud day out, 
asking for legislation that would result in a treaty between the 
two countries, as a basis for getting his M ulberry Sellers' claims 
recognized and paid. In the meantime, our Oregon " Jedge " 
conceived the idea of disposing of a portion of his interests iu 
these claims to whoever might be green enough to invest their 
money in the concern. To that end he visited New York and 
vainly endeavored to favorably impress capitalists with the value 
of his propositions. Finally he was approached by one Smith, a 
dead beat about the hotels, who represented that he was the au- 
thorized agent of a wealthy New York house who had deputed 
him to pay the Jedge $300,000 for one-fourth of his one-half in- 
terest in the aforesaid claims. Well do we remember the evening 
preceding the day on which the money was to be placed to the 
Jedge's credit at Riggs & Co.'s bank in Washington. Every 
loafer in Washington got wind of the affair, and gathered in all 
their rags and tags at the Ebbitt House. Scattered among the 
motley crew were a few well-dressed newspaper correspondents 
who had been duped into the belief that the Jedge was really 
about to " make a raise," expecting as they did to pocket a por- 
tion of the proceeds. Many were the air castles constructed that 
/ night as the old rounders drank their toddies, and like so many 
' flies buzzed around the free lunch counters at Willards. Until a 
late hour the party remained aud congratulated the Jedge on his 
expected good fortune as they guzzled down the drinks which a 
too confiding bar-keeper agreed to " set 'em up," wit h the expecta- 
tion of being paid the next day by check on Riggs & Co. But 
on the following day, instead of the Jedge going over to the bank 
and drawing his money, he was forced to repair to the police 
<;ourt to try and recover possession of his claims, which it appears 
were stolen by the aforesaid character of the euphonious cogno- 
men of Smith. Justice Snell, after hearing the evidence, re- 
manded Smith to jail, where he ordered his close confinement un- 



THE COLONELS, THE MAJAH8, AND THE JKDGE8. 35 

til he revealed the whereabouts of the stolen papers. Finally 
Smith delivered the papers to the court, where they now silently 
repose as evidence of the Jedge's misplaced confidence in human 
nature and the credulity of the Jedges, the Majahs and the Col- 
onels, who expected often to wet their whistles at the expense of 
the effete Mexicans. Just step into Willards Hotel bar-room at 
lunch time and say " Mexican Claims," and dozens of red eyes 
will flash with indignation and disgust. Among the army of 
Jedges we must not omit to mention Jedge R., the gifted and 
eloquent gentleman from "Accomac." Few men in or out of pub- 
lic life possess the eloquence of the voluble Jedge. His words 
roll out with a consonance that Beecher or Talmage might envy. 
The Jedge is also a good drinker, and never fails to respond when 
invited up to the Captain's desk. The Jedge often gets off a 
good thing, as for instance : Immediately after the election of the 
colossal fraud, Calico Foster, to the Gubernatorial chair of Ohio, 
that sweet-scented ss came on to Washington to receive the 
congratulations of the department clerks. On one occasion, in 
Auditor McGrew's office, when the room was filled with Ohio 
clerks, Jedge R. stepped in and addressed Foster as follows : " I 
congratulate you on your election, sah ! There is but one man 
more pleased at the result than myself, sah, and that's yourself, 
sau." In this connection we must not omit to inform the people 
of the various States what becomes of those ex- Congressmen for 
whom they have no further use and who have been turned out to- 
grass by them. These gentry are all to be found about the Wash- 
ington hotels. They eat at free lunch counters and cheap hash 
houses and pick their teeth in hotel lobbies, thus creating the 
impression that they board there. As a general rule, they buy 
their clothing with small sums of money given them by office 
girls whom they placed in office during their terms in Congress. 
Be it said to the credit of womanhood, that these poor girls are 
never ungrateful, and have often been known to pawn their 
clothing and divide their last dollar with the "influence" that 
secured them a place at the public crib. These fellows will all 
die in Washington, regarding it as they do as a safe harbor into 
which they may cast anchor after the storms have buffeted and 
beat them on life's shore. How happily doth the scriptures de- 
scribe these characters when it declares that, where the carcass 



36 THE COLONELS, THE MAJAHS, AND THE JEDGES. 

is there will the eagles be gathered together. But probably the 
most interesting member of the society of the Colonels, the Ma- 
jahs and the Jedges, is Colonel Boaster, who is distinguished for 
his classic features and flowing beard. He served in the Confed- 
erate army, and knows every man of prominence in the country; 
or, at least, he claims to know them. Mention any celebrity you 
may, and our Colonel knew him well — " often drank with him, 
by Gawd, sah." One day a facetious fellow asked him if he ever 
knew the Siamese twins, Eng and Cheng? "I have often drank 
with Cheng, but I am not sure that I ever met Eng," was the re- 
sponse. Colonel Boaster aflfects to be a shrewd politician, and is 
always to be seen about the Washington lobbies when any im- 
portant election is about to occur. Especially is he interested in 
the biennial elections for Speaker of the National House of Rep- 
resentatives. Colonel Boaster has been on every side of every 
political question that has agitated the country for the past 
twenty years. When down among the Southern cane brakes he 
is a good enough Democrat for anybody, but when he strikes the 
latitude of Washington and mingles with the " truly loil " of the 
North he out-Herods Herod in his Stalwart Republicanism. In 
1880 Colonel Boaster was one of those visiting statesmen who re- 
paired to Indiana to help Dorsey save that State to the Republi- 
can party. Reader, if you want to hear John C. New and S. W. 
Dorsey swear like troopers, just mention the name of Colonel 
Boaster and his cornifferous friend, the aforesaid member of the 
Caraeron-Conkling Combination. 



37 
CHAPTER VITI. 
SOUTHERN WAR CLAIMS. 

JUSTICE DEMANDS THAT THEY BE LIQUIDATED UPON AN EQUITA- 
BLE BASIS — THERE CAN BE NO LASTING AMITY BETWEEN THE 
SECTIONS UNTIL THIS IS DONE. 

It is a notorious fact that thousands of influential men at the 
North have arrived at the conclusion that the time has come for 
the equitable settlement of the war claims at the South. They 
have reached this conclusion not as politicians, but as fair mind- 
ed men, to whose sense of justice the idea of a robbed and de- 
spoiled South is repugnant. Twenty years have elapsed since 
the downfall of the Confederacy, and the decent people of the 
North will not be averse to the payment of these claims from 
the immense sums now lying in the general Treasury at Wash- 
ington. No class of men know the great revulsion of feeling at 
the North with regard to these claims better than Southern 
statesmen ; yet these gentlemen, for political reasons, will do all 
in their power to deter claimants from demanding their rights. 
As a rule, the men representing the South in Congress were not 
wealthy in ante-bellum days. They have but little at stake out- 
side of their official tenures, and, all in all, they are not safe 
counselors on the subject of Southern claims, because per se they 
are interested more in politics than in the material prosperity of 
their constituents. The masses of the Southern people are as in- 
telligent as are the denizens of any other section, and knowing 
their rights and equities they should not '.e slow to demand them 
in unmistakable terms. They know that the class of radical pol- 
iticians who gloried in the devastation of the South are either in 
their graves or are living political cadavers, who have long since 
turned up their toes to the daisies, metaphorically speaking. Of 
the old crew who delighted in reviling and abusing the South 
but one remains in political life— John Sherman— and his ques- 
tionable career while Secretary of the Treasury makes him in- 
deed a small quantity in the political " make up." During the 
past year I have journeyed throughout all the States, North, 
East and West, where I conversed freely with editors, bankers, 
ministers of the gospel, merchants, manufacturers and farmers, 
and at least eighty per cent, of those to whom I broached the 



38 SOUTHERN WAR CLAIMS. 

subject of payment for Southern war losses declared themselves 
in favor of their liquidation by the general Government. Let 
us examine into the equities of the case. In Revolutionary 
times the brains and means of the young Republic were distinct- 
ively Southern. The able generals of the Continental armies 
were Southern men. Indeed the North furnished but one soldier 
of brilliant attainments and he was the traitor Benedict Arnold. 
It was Southern endurance and courage that moulded and ma- 
tured American independence, and however mistaken that sec- 
tion may have been in inaugurating the late war, all the instincts 
of statesmanship, of equity and fair play, demand that she be re- 
imbursed for every dollar of property destroyed or consumed by 
the Federal forces during the great struggle. Following up the 
equities in this case there is no reason why the public domain, or 
what is left of it by thieving monopolists, should not be devoted 
henceforth to the liquidation of Southern war losses. The South- 
ern people should lose no time in preparing a complete schedule 
of their losses. When these schedules are prepared they should 
have annexed to them affidavits from good, reliable citizens de- 
scribing the property burnt or stolen, and if possible furnish the 
names of the general officers commanding the troops who perpe- 
trated the depredations. These schedules should be prepared in 
triplicate, one copy to be filed with the county clerk of the court 
in which the claimant resides, another should be sent to a Mem- 
ber of Congress in sympathy with the movement, with the ad- 
monition that he should spare no pains to press it to a successful 
termination. A copy should also be sent to some lawyer of Na 
t ional reputation at Washington— such as Belva A. LocKWOOr>. 
who is on friendly terms with all political parties, and who is es- 
teemed throughout the Nation for her sterling integrity and fine, 
abilities. Some politicians will say that these claims cannot be 
paid because their payment is interdicted by the Constitution 
Such a statement is false, and the men who make it know it to 
be false. True, the Constitution prohibits the payment for slaves 
or for debts contracted by the States in aid of the Confederacy, 
but in none of its unjust amendments does it interdict the pay- 
ment for cattle, hogs, horses, sheep, grain, cotton, &c., destroyed 
or consumed, or for houses, barns, fencing, »&.c., wantonly de- 
stroyed. The most unjust and iniquitous cotton tax of 1864-'65- 



SOUTHERN WAR CLAIMS. 39 

'66 should also be embraced in these estimates. The Supreme 
Court of the United States has decided that tax unconstitutional, 
and the millions of dollars forcibly taken from cotton producers 
by armed Federal minions now lies in the National vaults, the 
decision above referred to preventing its being " covered " into 
the Treasury. Many persons erroneously believe that it is im- 
practicable to refund this money, because the rightful owners 
cannot be found. This opinion is false, because not only the 
books of the commission merchants in Southern cities but also 
the records of the Internal Revenue Bureau at Washington con- 
tains the names of every planter and farmer who was thus un- 
justly and unconstitutionally taxed. The American Republic is 
rich and powerful — quite too powerful to systematically become 
a party to wholesale spoliation and robbery. Take Sherman's 
campaign throughout. He delighted in burning and destroying 
all that came within the reach of his soldiers. With a wantoness 
unparalleled in either ancient or modern times he depopulated 
and burnt cities, laid waste towns and villages, and rendered 
desolate fertile plantations. In his memoirs he recounts with al- 
most savage glee how he gave his men unbridled license to de- 
stroy all they could lay hands on, and dwells with apparent ec- 
stacies over his destruction of Howell Cobb's possessions in 
Georgia. Time ameliorates the asperities of war, and thousands 
<»f Northern people, who in their madness applauded the ruin 
which Sherman left behind him in his raids, now are ready to see 
the damage restored from the Nation's repleted Treasury. In de- 
manding their rights in the premises the South will have the sup- 
port and sympathy of fair-minded men everywhere. The same 
spirit which impelled Henry IV when, after the defeat of tbo 
Armed League, he rushed to the f aont, crying : ' ' Spare my French 
subjects ; hurt not a hair on their heads," now actuates the people 
of the North, or that portion of them who are willing to temper 
justice with mercy ; and if Southern statesmen will but energeti- 
cally throw their influence in the van there is no reason why the 
South should not be paid hundreds of millions of dollars, until 
the last Southern claim is liquidated. Let me say to the people 
of the South : Primarily, the first step is for claimants to sched- 
ule their losses, describing minutely the property taken or burnt, 
which, as before stated, should be supported by three or four aflS- 



40 SOUTHERN WAR CLAIMS. 

davit8. Once scheduled and filed away these claims become val- 
uable, as, let the worst come, it is only a question of a few years 
at most before they will be paid dollar for dollar. To that end 
citizens in each Congressional district in that section should 
make the payment of these claims the issue above all other is- 
sues. If a Congressman says that he is afraid to push these 
claims, or if he thinks they are barred by constitutional inhibi- 
tion, then wisely conclude that he is unworthy of your suffrages, 
and send some one else to represent you at the National Capital. 
In other words, let your representatives in Congress see that you 
are in earnest in your demands ; let them know that you are as- 
sured that fair-minded Northern men are not averse to your re- 
imbursement for your war losses, and then they will be ready tc 
lay aside political considerations and secure you your just dues. 
The safety and perpetuity of the Republic can never be assured 
so long as one section feels that it has been impoverished by an- 
other by hrutum fulmen. The South asks naught but equity, and 
lovers of equity everywhere will be rejoiced when the last vest- 
ige of sectionalism has been wiped out by a just settlement of 
the unprecedented war losses of that section. 

Aside from the above considerations there are yet weightier 
ones which might be adduced to establish the practicability of 
the suggestions herein contained. The American people admire 
pluck, energy, and endurance. The prowess of Lee, Jackson, 
Hood, and scores of other Southern generals has challenged the 
admiration of all true Americans, becaase they were sons of the 
great Republic. It is common for Congress to appropriate large 
sums for the encouragement of expositions and to advance the 
material interests of the several States. The development of the 
arts and sciences has always found champions on the floors of 
Congress. What true American would cavil about the payment 
of a few hundred millions of dollars to satisfy equitable claims, 
where the recipients were those, or the heirs of those, who so gal- 
lantly followed the fortunes of Lee, Jackson, Johnson, and Hood? 
Such appropriations should rather be placed on the high ground 
of premiums on gallantry, endurance, and all those attributes 
which illustrate the superiority of the American soldiery above 
those of any nationality under the sun. Separated as we are 
from warlike Nations by the expanseless sea is no guarantee that 



SOUTHEHN WAR CLAIMS. 41 

our Republic will never again be engaged in a foreign war. 
Wars are inevitable, and when again our Republic draws the 
sword the whole universe will wonder at the courage and patriot- 
ism of her soldiers, none of whom will merit higher admiration 
than the descendants of those who championed the " Lost Cause.' 
For this reason alone those who dominate National affairs should' 
and doubtless will consider it a high privilege to restore to the 
South a moiety at least of what she was so unnaturally and un- 
justly despoiled by the followers of Grant, Sherman, Sheridan, 
and nothing would do more to cement the Union. 



CHAPTER IX. 
OFFICE BROKERAGE. 

THE DISREPUTABLE CREATURES WHO SECURE APPOINTMENTS FOB A 
MONETARY CONSIDERATION. 

Among the loathsome fungi of official life in Washington are 
the scores of men and women who have managed to secure suffi- 
cient influence in the various Departments and the dependency 
thereof, the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, to enable them 
to secure places for men and women who are able to pay $200 
or less for the same. It is a common thing to see advertisements 
in the Washington papers, which read about as follows : 

" $200 will be paid for a watchman's or laborer's position in one 
of the Departments. Address X. Y. Z., Republican office." 

It is a notorious fact that there are men occupying high social 
positions in Washington who make it a business to secure appoint- 
ments for a monetary consideration. These office brokers are by 
no means secret in their operations, as they are well known to all 
the employes of the Departments. The man who is said to have 
made $10,000 by this means in the Interior Department alone dur- 
ing the past three years is so well known to the clerks in that un- 
savory establishment that when he goes on his monthly tour of 
collection he is greeted with such cries as the following: " There 
goes the handsome colonel ; pay him up, boys and girls, for he has 
it in his power to bounce you if you don't," etc. 

If Secretary Teller did not know the nefarious business in which 
this Western sharper has been engaged, he must have been a verita- 
ble dolt, and as such was totally incompetent to occupy so im- 
portant a trust. 

Under Mr. Cleveland's administration the occupation of these 
Otliellos will be gone, and they, too, will join the noble army of 
soreheads who will spend the next four years in denouncing Big- 
Foot Jones, Elkins, and R. R. R. Burchard. But it will occupy too 
much time to dwell at greater length upon these questionable char- 
acters, and the manner in which they have subsisted here for, lo ! 

42 



OFFICE BROKERAGE. 43 

these many years. I will turn from them to discuss the wives of 
prominent Radical officials who have made it a practice to have 
their house servants, coachmen, hostlers, and even chambermaids 
and cooks, carried on the rolls of the various Departments as mes- 
sengers, sweepers, scrub women, &c. Many of the exposes were 
made in the columns of the Washington Gazette, and at least one 
Western United States Senator wishes a thousand times a day that 
they had never been made, as they destroyed whatever chances he 
may have had for receiving the Republican presidential nomination 
at Chicago in 1884. It is a common thing for the head men and 
" bosses " in the various Government workshops to also have their 
private work done by Government laborers, and on any fair day, 
in the vicinity of the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, dozens 
of able-bodied negroes may be seen scouring front stoops and wash- 
ing window-sashes, who should be at work for the Government, 
which pays them their wages. 

It is unnecessary to name these " bosses " or the various states- 
men who have by such means been engaged in putting money in 
their purses, for, now that a clean sweep will be made of the Radi- 
ical ringsters, those employes who have been thus engaged will 
doubtless point the rascals out to the Democratic authorities, and 
thus make their own official tenures more secure by contributing 
toward ridding the public service of highly-paid officials who were 
too mean to pay for their own private work. There is an old fossil 
in the Treasury Department, chief of an important bureau, who ac- 
tually has a $720-messenger whose sole duties are to rub his gouty 
feet and bring him copious draughts of Ai3ollinaris water from a 
neighboring drug store. But the " bell-wether" among Washing- 
ington office brokers is a notorious Southern Radical politician, who 
has been hoggish enough to occupy every office in the gift of the 
negroes of his State during the carpet-bag regime. This fellow 

always operated through a notorious woman on street, witli 

whose daughter he was on the most intimate terms. The appoint- 
ments were always handed to the victims by this old creature, who 
sat in her gorgeously furnished parlor at the end of every month 
and received the " blood money " from them. If, from any cause, 
they failed to carry her her monthly stipend, she would report the 
delinquents to the aforesaid politician, who would hunt them up. 



44 OFFICE BROKERAGE 

and plainly tell them that they "had better pacify Mrs. , as 

she demands their dismissal." Of course, the poor creatures would 
pawn something or borrow the money, and thus retain their posi- 
tions. One of these victims once complained to Judge Rayner, 
late Solicitor of the Treasury, of the manner in which he was being 
"bled," and the noble old North Carolinian took him by the hand 
and carried him to the Secretary of the Department in which he 
worked, and ceased not until he made a thorough expose of the 
scoundrel's avocation. The result of the interview was not known 
further than the fact that the poor darkey never gave up more of 

his wages to the old faded blonde on street. 

I know a respectable Southern widow, who has seen better days, 
who, for the sake of employment, actually agreed to give one-half 
of her $1,000 salary to the aforesaid old "go-between." On the 
coldest days in winter I have seen her wending her way to her office 
clad in the thinnest raiment, because she could not maintain her 
children and dress comfortably on the little left her by the rapa- 
cious cormorants who gave her her appointment. There are doubt- 
less hundreds of just such cases in the various Departments, and 
the Cabinet officers should issue a circular ordering such em- 
ployes to cease giving such compensation to their so-called ' ' influ- 
ence," for many sensitive women will continue such payments, 
fearing that a refusal to do so might result in an exposure of the 
manner in which their appointments were original! j' conferre<l 



CHAPTER X. 
DESTRUCTION AND RECONSTRUCTION. , 

FACTS EEGABDING THE ADMINISTBATIONS OF GOVEKNOKS JOHNSON, OF 
GEORGIA, AND PEKKY AND SCOTT, OF SOUTH OAKOL,INA. 

I have not the disposition or the space to devote more than a 
few pages to a theme which has, until recentl3% been of command- 
ing interest throughout the country. The "carpet-bagger" had 
his day, and with the retirement of W. P. Kellogg to the shades of 
private life the last of them has disappeared from the public gaze. 
It would be most unjust to charge that all of the reconstruction 
governors were dishonorable men. In Georgia no man stood higher 
than Judge Johnson, of Columbus, who was appointed governor 
by Andrew Johnson in 1865. Under his administration Georgia 
made rapid strides out of the slough of despond into which Sher- 
man's army had driven her. In South Carolina the name of Ben- 
jamin F. Perry has always been associated with all that is honor- 
able, and it was his province to faithfully serve his native State as 
governor during the most critical period in her history. It may be 
of interest to relate how Andrew Johnson came to confer the gu- 
bernatorial honor upon Mr. Perry. Away back in the thirties 
Johnson was a tailor at Laurens Court-House, South Carolina. 
Mr. Perry was then a young attorney in Greenville. Young John- 
son saw him several times and heard him argue cases before the 
courts. He afterwards watched Mr. Perry's career as a stalwart 
defender of the Union, and when, in 1865, it became necessary to 
appoint a provisional governor of that State the President con- 
ferred the exalted position upon Mr. Perry. Andrew Johnson was 
one of the most remarkable men of his day, and no abler pen in 
the country could write a more faithful history of his life and 
times than ex-Governor Perry. Another governor of South Caro- 
lina who has been most unjustly traduced is General Robert K. 
Scott, now residing in retirement at Napoleon, Ohio. In justice 
to General Scott it should be stated that he never went South in 
quest of office. As a brevet major-general his command was sta- 
tioned in South Carolina at the close of a campaign in which he 
acquired many laurels, and which would have insured his promo- 

45 



46 DESTBUOTION AND BECONSTBUOTION. 

tion to the command of an army had he been a West Pointer. 
Early in 1865, he was designated by President Johnson to superin- 
tend the distribution of supplies to the starving South Carolinians, 
white and black. In May the term of his designation expired, but 
on the personal appeal of leading Charlestonians, foremost among 
whom were the sons of the distinguished Robert Barnwell Rhett, 
President Johnson continued him at the head of that necessary 
adjunct of the Federal army. Such were the many excellencies of 
head and heart, displayed to the suffering poor, by General Scott 
that he soon became universally popular throughout the State. 
Out of his private means he paid the taxes due to the Orr govern- 
ment by many widows and orphans in Charleston. Hundreds of 
Carolinians who traced their genealogy to the best blood in Eng- 
land, and who were too proud to accept alms from the Govern- 
ment, had their necessities relieved in <^^he most delicate manner by 
General Scott. It was indeed a most touching sight to witness the 
tender interest in the welfare of an unfortunate people that was 
displayed by the handsome and affable General Scott. He sunk 
the dashing general into the humanitarian, and for months exposed 
his life to a malaria more deadly than bullets in his efforts to re- 
store the planters to their homes, from which they had refugeed 
early in 1862. 

In 1868 the Reconstruction Convention met at Charleston and 
nominated General Scott for Governor. He at first dignifiedly de- 
clined the trust. Word came from Washington that the adminis- 
tration would be gratified if he would accept the nomination. The 
leading gentlemen of Charleston waited upon him and expressed 
the fear that, if he did not accept, some adventurer would be selected 
for the place. With the implied understanding that his adminis- 
tration would receive the support of all good citizens. General 
Scott agreed to accept the governorship. In less than six months 
after his inauguration he became the target of every vile sheet in 
the State. He represented an idea — the reconstruction of the 
South upon a Republican basis — and as such he had to be traduced 
and broken down. The records of the journals of the legislature 
will bear me out in the statement that not a corrupt scheme of 
legislation passed through that body that was not promptly vetoed 
by Governor Scott. How anomalous was his situation. Confront- 



DESTBUCTION AND BECONSTRUCXION. 47 

ing him on one side were the Bowens, Elliotts, Leslies, Moses, and 
other Republican corruptionists, bent upon spoliation and jobbery, 
and on the other hand were the Democratic leaders virtually en- 
couraging the radical corruptionists, thus hoping to make South 
Carolina Republicanism odious. In the latter attempt they suc- 
ceeded, but not until the finances of the State were irreparably 
impaired, necessitating the repudiation of the entire State debt. 

I knew Governor Scott well, and was thoroughly posted on all 
of his efforts to give the people of South Carolina good govern- 
ment, and I unhesitatingly declare that had he been sustained in 
his efforts he would have given that State one of the best adminis- 
trations she ever had. 

I will state another fact well known to his friends. When he 
became Governor he had a large amount of money which he 
brought with him from Ohio. This sum he had to expend in the 
payment of the expenses of the legislature, because the credit of 
the State was so poor that no money could be raised in financial 
circles for that purpose. He continued to reside in Columbia 
until 1875, during which period he dispensed thousands of dollars 
to the suffering poor of both colors. His charity was as broad as 
the confines of the State, and the poor and needy never applied to 
him in vain. Here was a gentleman who risked his life as a general 
in restoring the Union, and who encountered the deadly malaria of 
the sea-coast in the interest of strangers, and who continued to live 
among them for years, dispensing his charities on every hand. 
And yet there are people in that State so degraded that they ac- 
tually conspired to defeat the able and distinguished Colonel F, W. 
McMaster for Congress in 1884 because that gentleman once wrote 
a letter of sympathy to General Scott, couched in such language as 
might have been expected from one high-toned gentleman to 
another. 

I had the pleasure of meeting General Scott at his Ohio home in 
1884. He is still erect, ruddy, and prosperous, evincing naught 
but the utmost good-will for all of his old South Carolina acquaint- 
ances. He has an exalted estimate of many of her people, and is 
especially kind in his allusions to the Rhetts, McMasters, Hugers, 
Childses, and many others who always dealt justly by him. He is 
a general favorite at Napoleon among those who served in his com- 



48 DESTKUOTION AND RECONSTRUCTION. 

mand in the war. Poor Goldsmith must have had him in his 
mind's eye when he wrote : 

" His errors leaned to virtues side^ 

I am glad that I knew General Scott. I am glad that my life 
has been spared to paj' him this humble tribute. Ho is one of na- 
ture's noblemen ; a gallant gentleman who never harbored an im- 
})ure or dishonorable thought in his life. Perhaps it was meet that 
one having the honorable blood of the Scotts in his veins should be 
deputed to care for and protect the misled and misguided South 
Caiji)liniaus after the war. The State suffered badly enough be- 
cause her best people refused to sustain him as against the machi- 
nations of the Bowens, Moses, and "Whittemores, but how much 
worse she would have fared had General Scott never entered her 
confines, God alone knows. As governor he did the best he could, 
and now enjoys the blessing of a clear conscience. In conclusion. 
I will relate a couple of anecdotes, which I have never yet seen in 
print. In 1870 Mr. John J. Patterson was hurrying a bill of a ques- 
tionable nature through the South Carolina Legislature. Of course 
a bill of that nature necessitated the liberal use of money. One 
" Daddy" Cain, a senator, having unsuccessfully demanded $3,000 
as the price of his support of the measure, attacked it with great 
energy. For four hours did he open the vials of his wrath on the 
scheme. Finally Patterson sent one Tim Hurley to Cain with the 
message that he would pay him the $3,000. In the midst of his 
harangue Cain stopped, glanced up at the ceiling, and demurely 
said: " Mr. President, I have now said everything that can be ad- 
duced against that bill ; I will nov/ proceed to demonstrate what 
may be. said in its favor." Whereupon Cain delivered a forcible 
argument in the interest of the measure which he had been oppos- 
ing, and which the $3,000 bribe influenced him to support. In 
1875 the supreme court of South Carolina consisted of a Jew of the 
name of Moses, a negro named Wright, and a Yankee called Wil- 
lard. One day a New York Irishman stalked through the supreme 
court chamber and remarked to a by-stander : "And be gorrah, 
and did I iver expect to see such a sight — a Nagur, a Jew, and a 
Yankee on the supreme bench of the Palmetto State ?" 



CHAPTER XI. 
THE LATE KENNETH RAYNER. 

HOW AN HONORAB1.B GENTIiEMAN WAS TREATED BY HIQH BADICAIi OF- 
FICtALS — A FEW ANECDOTES OP HIS LIFE. 

One of the few men of integrity and honor who held high of- 
fice under the Republican regime at Washington was the late illus- 
trious Hon. Kenneth Rayner. The name of Kenneth Rayner has 
always been associated throughout the Union with all that was 
noble, elevated, and admirable. When but a young man he rep- 
resented his district in Congress ; indeed, I have heard him say 
that he was barely able to take the constitutional oath when he was 
first elected. He was a Whig and an ardent admirer and disciple of 
Henry Clay. He was onoe balloted for for United States Senator 
by the North Carolina Legislature, but, after a contest of nearly 
four months, he retired from the arena, although by the expen- 
diture of but a few hundred dollars he might have been elected. 
When his manager reported that his election could be assured by 
the purchase of one vote, Mr. Raj^ner became indignant, declaring 
that he would not accept the high trust if secured in that way. 
Mr. Rayner was a member of the first congressional committee that 
visited the West Point Military Academy, on which occasion he 
made a speech so replete with practical wisdom that it was exten- 
sively published, and may now be found in the libraries of eminent 
soldiers. In 1856 a bolting convention of Whigs assembled in New 
York and nominated Commodore Stockton for President and Mr. 
Rayner for Vice-President, but the movement came to naught when 
Rayner denounced it, and declared his purpose to support the regu- 
lar Whig nominee, Mr. Fillmore. During that canvass he made a 
series of able speeches in Pennsylvania, and more than one resi- 
dent of the Quaker City has told me that had Rayner visited their 
State two weeks earlier he would have swept away the small ma- 
jority by which Buchanan carried that State. I mention these de- 
tails merely to show how prominent a man Mr. Raj uer was. Al 
the close of the war he was very poor, but remembered that he 
had many friends at the North, who cheerfully aided hira in secur- 
ing a lucrative office under President Andrew Johnson. When 

49 



50 THE LATE KENNETH KAYNER. 

Grant came in he continued him in office and he remained in posi- 
tion until his death in 1883. Up to the Hayes regime Judge Ray- 
ner was always treated with profound respect by all with whom he 
came in contact. But, as Solicitor of the Treasury, John Sherman 
Boon determined that he should be shorn of all official authority. 
To that end Sherman resorted to every means in his power to de- 
grade and belittle the noble North Carolinian simply because he 
was an honorable Southern gentleman — one who could not be used 
to corruptly forward Sherman's aspirations. Even the small at- 
taches of the solicitor's office, such as Robinson, Elms, and others 
equally insignificant, were encouraged to persecute and annoy him. 

Such was the official terrorism to which this patriot was sub- 
jected that for three years he was in daily expectation of a discharge 
from the service. Knowing that his integrity was inflexible, he 
was relieved from the responsibility of approving vouchers for 
money drawn on the Secret Service fund, thus leaving that prolific 
field to be cultivated by Sherman and his rapacious crew of hangers- 
on, with no Rayner to molest or make them afraid. Occasionally 
Mr. Rayner would lose his temper, when he forciby gave vent to 
expressions not in the least complimentary to Sherman and his 
henchmen. But the ambition of his life was to get on the Court 
of Claims bench. He had promises from Grant, Hayes, and Ar- 
thur, but each determined that he was too honest for the place, 
knowing, as they well did, that he would never consent to run any 
dubious curves for their henchmen. 

Early in 1883, Judge Rayner sent for the writer and asked him 
to copy an elaborate attack on the Court of Claims, and especially 
on Judge David Davis, of Illinois, for the part he took in securing 
Rayner's defeat for a seat on that bench. I cheerfully complied, 
but the article was never printed, because the noble old man died 
soon after. About two weeks before his death he met the aforesaid 
fence-straddler, Davis, in the lobby of the National Hotel, when the 
following colloquy ensued : Rayner. Mr. Davis, did I ever do you a 
personal injury ? Davis. Why, no, judge. Why do you ask such a 
question ? Rayner. Mr. Davis, did you or did you not say to Presi- 
dent Arthur that I was too old for the Court of Claims? Davis. 
Well, I believe I did say that, but really I did not mean that you 
should ever hear of it. Raj'ner. Well, Mr. Davis, let me say to 



THE LAI'S KENNETH RAYNER. 51 

you, sir, that I may be a little older than you are, but I am youug 
enough to whip you any day, and I notify you now that if I ever 
hear of your talking about me in that way again, sir, I will cut your 
ears off and nail them up on the wall. 

The Illinois statesman trembled like an asjDen, and it was as 
much as bystanders could do to deter Mr. Kayner from kicking 
him out into the street. 

In 1878 one A. M. Soteldo made a most uncalled-for and unjust 
attack on Mr. Kayner, in a dirty sheet called the National Eepub- 
lican, which the judge promptly resented by chastising the offender 
on the Fifteenth-street entrance to the Treasury building. Judge 
Rayner's refusal to prostitute his position in the interest of fraud- 
ulent claimants was the cause of the lampoons which emanated 
against him from Soteldo's pen in the aforesaid disreputable sheet. 
I refer to the above incidents in the career of Mr. Kayner with a 
view to showing the animi and abuses to which an honorable 
public ofl&cer in Washington is always subjected. The fact that 
he enjoyed the confidence and respect of the best people in both 
sections was no protection from the assaults of the low and ignoble 
" ringsters" who held sway in and out of the Departments during 
the last six years of Mr. Kayner's official career. On one occasion 
I was in his office when a Philadelj^hian, under indictment by the 
United States court for smuggling Sea-Island cotton yarns, and 
who had for months been vainly endeavoring to effect a compro- 
mise with the Government, presented himself, armed with a letter 
of introduction from an eminent Washington banker. The letter 
expressed the hope that Mr. Kayner would "strain a point," and 
aL'ow the smuggler to adjust his differences with the Government 
on as easy terms to him as possible. Mr. Kayner's face colored 
instantly, as he handed the man the letter, saying : " Tell Mr. K. 
that I shall take no more notice of his appeal than if it had come 
from his bootblack." The man hung his head and retired to the 
room of a high Treasury official who made a specialty of effecting 
compromises of that nature with the Government. But the gallant 
old man could not survive the assaults continually being made 
upon him by the cowardly curs of the Treasury, Constant irrita- 
tion affected his brain, and he died, after a brief illness, in the 
same room in which his old leader, Clay, expired. 



52 THE LATE KENNETH KAYNBS. 

I cannot better close this article than bj' relating the following 
incident which I heard from Mr. Rayuer's own lips. It ai>i)ears 
that two disreputable women appeared at Henry Clay's room at his 
hotel one night, during his absence, when they got into a fight, 
pulling and tearing each other's ribbons and hair at the most furious 
rate. Mr. Clay became greatly alarmed lest the affair get into the 
columns of the leading Democratic paper at the capital. He there- 
fore sent for his trusted lieutenant, Mr. Rayner, and asked what 
course of pursuance he would advise to suppress the matter. The 
latter "told him not to be concerned in the least about the matter, as 
he would see that no mention would be made of it in the press. 
Mr. Rayner then wended his way to the newspaper ofltice, and 
begged the reporters to make no allusion to the matter, which they 
readily promised. But to make assurance doubly sure he sat up 
until 11 o'clock, when the paper went to press. He then retiredfor 
the night. The next morning he called at Mr. Clay's room early 
with a copy of the paper to show that no mention had been made 
of the scandal. "I sat up until U o'clock to see that the fellows 
did not lie to me," said Mr. Rayner. "But what was the use in 
your sitting up so late ?" said Mr. Clay. " If the article had been put 
in you could not have stopped it." " Yes, I could," rejoined Mr. 
Rayner; "I would have stood by that press and bought every 
paper they could print until it was time to go to press again." 

I "regarded it a rare privilege to know Kenneth Rayner. He was 
without guile, and he led a blameless public and private life. He 
stalked through the corruptions of Washington in the most corrupt 
of eras without even the semblance of smoke upon his garments. 
He has left for his posterity and hosts of admiring friends a good 
name, which the Scriptures tell us is more enviable than great 
richss. 



CHAPTER XII. 
ARTHUR'S ADMINISTRATION. 



POLITICAL aiETHODS IN FEDEBAL POLITICb. 

The Eepublican party was well nigh stranded by Grant, but it 
completely succumbed after enduring three years of Arthur, sup- 
;rme:ld\y the blighting influences of Geo. Bliss, Ben^B^^^^^^^^ 

et id omne genrn. Arthur was scarcely warm m Garfield s seat 
before the White House became filled with the scurviest Bet o 
'ingsters who ever afflicted Hew York politics. At the head of the 
disreputable crew was George Bliss, who never conceived a higher 
Ste of politics than the number of dollars he could make by 
LeZds peculiar-ly his own For instance, the sUr ro^r.^.^ 
robbed the Government out of millions of dollars yet Bliss, 
Brewster & Co. were smart enough to enter upon a vain mvestlga- 
fion of the alleged thieves for the sole purpose of fleecing the Gov- 
emmenr In a futile effort to convict Kellogg, Brady, and Dorsey 
tw actually received from the Government hundreds of thou- 
ands of dollars. They thought that the .tar routers had been too 
.uodest, and so they went to work to pick up --y'^^^%'"«^^ 
be found "lying around loose" in the Treasury. The scandals 
tha grew out'of'the star route prosecutions were quite enough of 
themselves to kill the Bepublicau party. Then there -- ^he ^ nUel 
and furbelowed Brewster, who soon made ^"-^^ ^ ^l^^ =^"f'^^«^ 
stock of the nation. It was openly charged m th, ^Va.hmgtoa 
papers that be was constantly in a maudlin state-more fl ted to 
^ociate with debauchees than occupy the exalted position ot 
1^:; Lw officer of a great nation. This man iJrewster was a ci.a^ 
ture of Senator Don. Cameron, and no man to this day know, the 
motives which induced Cameron to recommend him for so respo^- 

XTa trust. But Cameron is a ^^■^■^'^^-^''^''"''Jl'^ZX 
mistook Brewster's frills and panelled equipages for statesmanship 
oTrhlh oTder. Certain it is, however, that the most potent 
:Llia V the Democratic party had in the late campaign was his 
t,„ilo»s and totally incompetent man (?) Brewster. No polit. 



54. ABTHUK's ADMINISTRATION'. 

cal party could live under the blighting influences of Brews l or, 
and he finally succeeded in contributing more than anybody else 
to the scuttling of the old ship. He will now retire to the shades 
of private life, and may daily be found, after the 4th of March 
proximo, at his old Philadelphia stand, pursuing the same sharp 
practices at the bar which have long since made him notorious as 
the ' ' sharpest " lawyer in that city, famous the world over for the 
unscrupulousness of its barristers. 

Next to Brewster, the most questionable character Arthur had in 
his Cabinet was the notorious Wm. E. Chandler, a man whose an- 
tecedents were so dubious that a Republican Senate declined to 
confirm him as Solicitor-General of the United States. There is 
no doubt that Chandler was the prince of jobbers. He thought he 
would feather his nest as Secretary of the Navy, but a Congress 
remarkable for its unscrupulousness refused to vote him a dollar, 
notwithstanding the assurances they received that there would be 
" money enough to divide out among all the boys." It was not 
surprising that the employes in the Navy Department should have 
" pushed through " fraudulent claims, w^henthey reflected that at 
the head of their establishment was a man who always regarded the 
Government in the light of a fat goose ready to be plucked. 

Folger, the head of the Treasury Department, was an imbecile, 
who knew no more about finanees than he did about the mystic 
hieroglyijhics that deck Palmyra's waste. 

Another unique character in Arthur's Cabinet is the oily-tongued 
Teller. This gentleman has displayed peculiar regard for the 
Shakespearian admonition, and, if reports are true, has put a great 
deal of money in his purse. To illustrate the thriftiness of this 
man, I will relate the following incident that occurred in 1882. 
One day an influential gentleman was approached by a poor female 
clerk in the ofiice of the First Comptroller of the Treasury, who 
complained that her pay was about to be reduced because, on ac- 
count of siclcness, she had been absent several hours during the 
month from her desk. The gentleman to whom she made this 
complaint told her that he felt sorry for her misfortunes, but that 
he could afford her no relief, because he supposed that her pay 
would be diminished in accordance with a general rule in the 
Treasury. The woman insisted that such was not the case, and 



abthur's administkation. 55 

cited a uumber of clerks who frequently absented themselves for 
weeks and months without deduction from their salaries. She par- 
ticularly cited the case of the sister of Secretary Teller's wife's 
brother, an inmate of that public functionary's house, who had 
been permitted through Teller's influence to be absent from her 
desk for the long period of eighteen months, during which time 
she regularly drew her pay. 

The prominent gentleman above referred to was astonished, and 
lost no time in calling on Comptroller Knox, who sent for the 
record-books in his office with a view to ascertaining the truth or 
falsity of the woman's charge. Upon examination he found that 
the charge was true, and, furthermore, he stated that the privilege 
had been accorded the Teller kinswoman because of the command- 
ing influence of Secretary Teller. Here was a Cabinet officer 
drawing a salary of $8,000, with innumerable political irons in a 
multiplicity of jobbery fires, who was so parsimonious and mean 
that he was actually a party to a Government clerkess drawing a 
$1,200 salary for eighteen months, during which time she rendered 
no service, save to sign the vouchers for her pay. Is it surprising 
that this man Teller should be reputed to be engaged in land and 
Indian jobbery, w^hen he evinced the inordinate love of monej' 
which characterized his action in forcing the appointment clerk of 
the Treasury to pay his kinswoman for eighteen months, the money 
for which presumably went into Teller's pockets, as she was an 
inmate of his house ? 

Teller's disgraceful action in this matter was called to the atten- 
tion of the then Postmaster-General, Howe, who denounced him in 
unmeasured terms, but expressed the hope that the matter would 
not get into the press, as " so contemptible a steal would be more 
damaging to Arthur's administration than the theft of a million ol" 
acres of land." Such are a few of the disgraceful antecedents of 
the man who contributed to the extent of his ability toward making 
Arthur's administration a stench in the nostrils of fair-minded 
people everywhere. 

This picture of Teller is not overdrawn, and those persons who 
may have misgivings as to its truthfulness can have it corroborated 
by addressing Mr. John J. Knox, at present an eminent financier 
in New York city. 
/ Frank Hatton ! what shall I say of him ? Oh, ye gods and little 



€- 



56 Arthur's administration. 

/ fishes I was ever so small a CTeature elevated- to so resj)onsible a 
I trust ? Who but Arthur would ever have put such a fellow into a 
Cabinet ? The fact is that in three short years Arthur succeeded 
admirably in disgracing the public service, and making trusts 
which had hitherto been regarded as honorable so degraded as 
to henceforth deter self-respecting men from occupying them. 

But the history of the Chicago Republican Convention proved 
that Brewster, Chandler, and Hatton were appointed for a design, 
whit:h was no inore nor less than a purpose to have them buy 
Arthur's nomination for the Presidency. Hatton was on the floor 
of the Convention, and gentlemen present declare that he and the 
man Evans, Commissioner of Internal Revenue, actually publicly 
bought votes for Aithur among the Southern delegations. 

Such disgraceful scenes were never before witnessed in a politi- 
cal or any other kind of a bod3^ Hatton and Evans had blanks 
in their pockets, and they would fill them out unblushingly, thus 
conferring offices for votes for Arthur. They ate, slept, and drank 
with scurvy political ringsters of the " black-and-tan ^' order. 
The lobby of the Grand Pacific Hotel became noisy as the ne- 
gro politicians would cry out, "Come up, Hatton and Evans, 
and take a drink," &c. Of course, Hatton and Evans had to go 
through the motion of drinking, for, eke ye, the average South- 
ern political darkey puts on many airs when serving as a delegate 
to a National Convention, and he v/ill brook no discourtesy, not 
even from an embryo Postmaster-General. 

One of Arthur's tools at Chicago was one Howard Carroll, who 
wended his way among the Southern delegates, telling them that 
the last one of them would lose, his office who voted against Ar- 
thm\ As nearly all the Sout'aern delegates were office-holders,it is 
easily accounted for how Arthur got as many votes as he did in the 
Chicago Convention. But the country is to be congratulated upon 
the fact that it has seen the last of the fastidious Arthur. 

He was a veritable accident, who floated to the surface after u 
great civil commotion. He was the creature of Guiteau, whose 
crazed brain elevated him to the seat once honored by Washington, 
Jefferson, and Madison. He demeaned himself as President in a 
manner that might have been expected of one who acquired power 
at the muzzle of an assassin's pistol. 

Farewell, Arthur, and if forever, why, then, His all thehePer. 



CHAPTER XIII. 
THE AVERAGE CONGRESSMAN. " 

EPISODES AND FACTS REGARDING SOIVIE OF THE MEN WHO SIT IN THE 
LEGISLATIVE HALLS OF THE NATION. 

The position of a congressman is eminently a conspicuous and 
an honorable one. It is his province to speak and vote upon meas- 
ures touching the material prosperity of sixty millions of people. 
•The safety and welfare of the Republic are practically in his keep- 
ing. He votes to make war and declare peace. Not a dollar can 
be taken from the Treasury without his consent. He is in reality 
the custodian of the nation's strong box, and as such he is greatly 
sought after and patronized by all who are interested in the fine 
art of plucking the national goose. Turgot, the wisest of French 
financiers, once likened taxation to the art of plucking a goose 
without making it cry, and those congressmen who are discreet, 
and do not "pluck" too hard, are re-elected again and again until 
some of them succeed in serving a score of years in the national 
councils. 

The average congressman is quite a different individual at home 
from what he "shows up " at Washington. The peoj)le of his dis- 
trict regard him as a sort of demi-god. He is honored there be- 
cause he is the only congressman in that district, on the same 
principle that the small boys and girls of the nation honor and re- 
vere Jumbo, because, forsooth, there is but one Jumbo in America. 

The average congressman has credit at home, and can purchase 
houses, lands, diamonds, or whatever he will with his ]3romise to 
pay. Not so, however, in Washington, where the fact that an tn)- 
plicant for credit is a member of Congress rather militates against 
his chances for getting it. 

There are over three hundred congressmen in Washington, and 
they are consequently as common as blackberries in June. The 
trades-people, from peanut venders up, pay no more attention to 
the average congressman than they would to a clerk in one of the 
"Oepartments. Indeed a clerk can obtain credit from a merchant 
where a congressman cannot, for the simple reason that if the clerk 

57 



58 THE AVERAGE CONGKESSMAN. 

defaults in payment the head of his Department will force him to 
liquidate the debt or resign, while the congressman cannot even be 
sued during a session of Congress. 

I knew a United States Senator who allowed a wine bill to re- 
main unpaid for four years, which was only adjusted after the ex- 
piration of his term, and after his trunk had been attached. Dozens 
of congressmen change their residences e\evy sixtj^ or eighty days, 
as it is cheaper to move than to pay rent. But the gas comj^anies, 
street railway lines, and all corporations which obtain their charters 
from Congress are forced to treat congressmen with great consid- 
eration. The Washington Gaslight Comjiauy, by its exorbitant 
charges, always manages to keep money enough in its coffers to 
accommodate the average congressman to a small loan. Many a 
congressman who would refuse a bribe direct \\'ill obtain a loan of 
$500 or $1,000 from a corporation for which no promise to pay is 
exacted. Of course the money is never refunded. To such an ex- 
tent is this peculiar congressional "influence" carried that hun- 
dreds of boarding-house keepers in Washington never pay a cent 
for gas, because the gas company knows that they or their friends 
occasionally entertain congressmen. The average congressman, 
in consequence of his high rate of living, finds himself often finan- 
cially stranded. If he'has exhausted all the facilities he had for 
*' bleeding " corporations he finally falls back on his appointees in 
the Departments, from each of whom he exacts from $20 to $50. 
When these resources are all exhausted he actually goes to a junk 
dealer and sells the congressional documents for waste paper which 
his confiding constituents at home are vainly longing for. 

There are some men in Congress who are not Josephs in any 
sense of the term. How astonished would be their constituents did 
they know the female company their members of Congress keep. 
How the fellow-citizens of a certain western congressman would 
lament did they know that it is a common thing for their repre- 
sentative to be sent to the station-house by his wife, lest he take her 
life during one of his *' sprees !" Another member has been picked 
up on the streets so drunk that he could not be taken home with- 
out scandalizing his family. At his wife's request, he is always 
lodged at a station-house until he sleeps off his debauch. An East- 
ern U, S, Senator was often seen staggering on Penosylvania avenue, 



THP: average CONGREtSMAN. , 59 

to the amusement of all the small boys in the vicinity. A million- 
aire Senator from one of the middle States has been known to live 
on champagne for weeks, declining other nourishment save what 
he found in Mumm's best. When reduced to such a sad plight 
that life would be almost extinct his friends would sit np with him 
and resort to the well-known " tapering off " process. But of all 
the nauseating characters who visit Washington the neir member 
from the rural district takes the cake. He arrives in Washington 
under the delusive impression that he is as big a man here as he is 
at home. He stalks and swaggers through the hotels and public 
buildings as if he were a Vanderbilt. He wears a gaudy necktie, 
with unpolished boots, and coughs and expectorates at a furious 
rate. He pulls out his handkerchief and blows his nasal adornment 
so loudly that one imagines himself in the presence of an Ohio 
river boatman with his noisy fog-horn. He stalks up to the hotel 
clerk at Willard's or the Riggs House and engages the best room, 
regardless of cost. At the end of the first week he is confronted 
by a bill for $100. Then his feathers droop like a wet barnyard 
fowl, and the next week we find him climbing two flights of stairs 
in a cheap boarding-house. After a residence in Washington of 
three months he becomes sensible of the fact that he is not an un- 
common individual, entitled to no more consideration than Smith. 
Jones, or Brown. 

Still there are some good, sensible men in Congress, a fact which 
the prosperity of the nation unquestionably attests. 



CHAPTER XIV. 
" MY DEAR HUBBELL.'^ 

A FEW FACTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE MAN OF WHOM GABFIELD IN- 
QUIRED, "how are BRADY AND THE DEPARTMENTS DOING ?" 

One of the most unique characters who figured at Washington 
during the past decade was Jay A. Hubbell, who represented a 
Michigan district in Congress, and was for four years president of 
the Republican Congressional Committee. It appears that Hubbell 
had the latter honor conferred upon him because he was the pos- 
sessor of valuable copper mines on Lake Michigan, thus enabling 
him, in the event of a dire extremity, to draw his checks for 
amounts large enough to save doubtful congressional districts to 
the Republican party. Hubbell was a good enough fellow in his 
way, but his experience as the head of that committee conclusively 
demonstrated that he was totally incompetent of performing the 
delicate duties of a political manager, and the numerous blunders 
he committed more than once made him the laughing-stock of the 
nation. He soon fell a prey to every journalistic sharper at the 
capital, who ".bled " him unmercifully. Hd was constantly placing 
himself in the power of adventurous Bohemians, who accepted his 
cash as "hush money." 

Early in 1882 he employed one Bissell, the editor of a so-cftlled 
Grand Army Journal, to " write up" and publish the political and 
moral delinquencies of Thos. W. Ferry, then a United States Senator 
from Michigan, and into whose shoes Hubbell was especially anx- 
ious to step. The aforesaid Bissell had long been a terror to weak- 
kneed officials. He was nominally a reporter on a Sunday paper, 
and having an aptitude for scandal -gathering, he succeeded in 
keeping many high officials on the ragged edge of despair lest he 
publish their moral shortcomings. For weeks and months during 
1882 Bissell stalked through the Treasury corridors squirting to- 
bacco juice on the marble floors and brandishing a huge hickory 
club, which he designated his "cane." 

No less a personage than Secretary Windom was completely sub- 
dued by Bissell's threats, and the Chief of the Secret Service was 

60 



**MY DEAR HUBBELL,," 61 

feept busy for weeks endeavoring to get up sufficient evidence to 
secure his arrest. What a commentary upon the Radical officials 
that for two years they permitted themselves to be terrorized by Bis- 
sell lest he publish facts which they knew would disgrace them ! 

But pardon my digression. 

Bissell did the work so well that when his paper appeared the 
greatest consternation was produced in Radical circles. He boldly 
charged Ferry with every crime known to the moral and political 
decalogues. But he did not have prudence enough to conceal the 
fact that the article had been mainly dictated by Hubbell. This 
caTised the latter great uneasiness, because he himself lived in a 
glass house of the most flimsy texture, and he knew not how soon 
Ferry's friends might turn their journalistic batteries upon it. 

Hubbell spent a week of the most abject misery, shutting himself 
up in the seclusion of his residence, trembling all the while like an 
aspen. In the meantime the election for senator came off at 
Lansing, when Hubbell's methods in the senatorial canvass were 
investigated by a legislative committee. The result of the contest 
was that both Hubbell and Ferry were remanded to the shades of 
obscurity, the former to his copper mines, and the latter to his 
shingle i^iles. 

It must have cost Hubbell at least $50,000 to defeat Ferry, a re- 
sult which might have been accomplished by an experienced poli- 
tician without the expenditure of a dollar. 

Hubbell made himself the laughing-stock of Congress by a 
bhmder that he made in 1881. One day he walked up to Mr. 
Turner, of Kentucky, a Democrat, and addressed him as follows : 

Hubbell. ''Really you must give me jJ'lOO this morning for Lee 
Crandall, the editor of a Greenback paper. He is rendering the 
Republican party good service, and we must raise him $2,000 be- 
fore Saturday night." 

Turner: "Lee Crandall, the devil. What in the deuce do I 
want to give him money for .^ My name is Turner, and I am a 
Democrat." 

Hubbell vanished like he had been hit by a sledge-hammer, 
having discovered his mistake in approaching Turner for a Wis- 
consin member. Turner lost no time in giving the affair away to 
the reporters, and for weeks Hubbell would take to his heels when- 



62 "my dear kubbell." 

ever Lee Crandall's name was mentioned. But Crandall then 
found himself in a dilemma. His Greenback brethren grew jealous 
and suspicious lest he should sell out their organization to the 
Repl^blican party. To set himself right he called a meeting of his 
party's leaders, and assured them that there was no truth in the 
story ; that it was naught but a base conspiracy by the Radicals to 
ruin him; that he never spoke to Hubbell in his life, and would 
not know him from the man in the moon. I infer that Mr. Cran- 
dall satisfied his Greenback auditors that he was not in Hubbell's 
pay, because he still edits his party's organ at "Washington. 

"My dear Hubbell" still continued to raise money, however, 
and to afford liberal help to Crandall. Such was the fear that the 
fact would again get iuto print that he used the following precau- 
tion of communicating with Crandall. The affable Col. Cook was 
made the custodian for all moneys designed for Crandall. Cook 
would call on a leading publisher and hand him $1,000, requesting 
a receipt therefor. ""What am I to do with it?" the publisher 
would ask. " Don't say a word," Cook would rejoin, his teeth 
chattering with emotion; "just give me a receipt and pocket the 
money." Meanwhile some one would go to Crandall and report 
that this publisher had money for him, which we may well suppose 
he lost no time in possessing himself of. In the event of a con- 
gressional investigation, Hubbell, Coo'c, the publisher, and Cran- 
dall would have been able to depose that Hubbell never sent any 
money to Crandall, and that Crandall never received any money 
from Hubbell. Such were the methods and characteristics of Hub- 
bell and his contemporaries. He was anything but an apt imitator 
of his old master, Zach. Chandler. Had Chandler been alive he 
v.'ould have excoriated Hubbell unmercifully for his numerous 
blunders as the titular head of the Republican Committee, on the 
same principle that the Spartans flogged their youth who carelessly 
rung the bells in the arena, not because they attempted to extract 
the purse from the suspended garment, but because they were so 
clumsy as to tingle the tintinnabulum. Certain it was that Hub- 
bell never appeared at his best unless he gave the alarm by tingling 
all the bf lis with which he came in contact. But I am unequal to 
the emergency of adequately portraying Hubbell and his various 
political makeshifts. 



"my dear hubbell.' 6:1 

He was a machine politician of the most dubious type. Hv 
despised the canting political hypocrite, and was a thorough ex- 
ponent of the theory that to the victors belong the spoils. In after 
years other Hubbells will be found to bleed Department clerks and 
other Government officials ; but it is to bo hoped that they will bo 
too discreet to repose confidence in Washington Bohemians, and 
to ask a member of the opposition party for $100 to help along the 
editor of a Greenback, or any other kind of a newspaper. 



CHAPTEK XV. 
SO-CALLED CIVIL SERVICE REFORM. 

The howling, monumental fraud of the age is the civil service 
reform law, as executed by the so-called civil service commission- 
ers. The whole system is predicated upon hypocrisy and subter- 
fuge, and is a disgrace to the Federal statutes. The man who is 
responsible for the law was a sham of such glaring transparency 
that a discerning constituency wisely remanded him to the shades 
of private life. The fallacy of the system is manifest when it is 
remembered that only the clerks drawing salaries of from $900 to 
$1,800 are included within its limits. The very men, above all 
others, who should not be examined (the clerks whose labors show 
priTna facially whether or not they are competent) are subjected to 
examinations, while the chiefs of bureaus, their deputies, and chief 
clerks, and the throng of chiefs of divisions, postmasters, collectors 
of customs and internal revenue, with their chief clerks and depu- 
ties, are not subjected to examinations, and who, as a rule, are as 
ignorant as Kentucky mules. Therein lies the fallacy of the whole 
system. I know auditors, deputy auditors, chief clerks, and chiefs 
of divisions, who are placed at the head of intelligent clerks, and 
who are too pass upon the qualifications of those under them, that 
are so illiterate that they cannot write a dozen lines grammatically. 
Yet these ignoramuses draw large salaries, affect to be wise by 
keeping their mouths shut, and generally succeed in making them- 
selves the laughing-stock of all with whom they come in contact. 
The fact is that the foregoing favored classes are political "strikers," 
and have for that reason been favored by a most unjust and invid- 
ious law. To place a competent set of clerks under such igno- 
ramuses is as anomalous as it would be to send a valuable cargo to 
sea under well-trained sailors, with a "land-lubber" captain and 
master's mate. But what shall I say about the average postmaster 
of the country? He is the quintescence of ignorance. He may 
understand the art of " silence," but certain it is that he has never 
mastered the first principles of "addition" and "division." The 
weekly statements of the accounts which they send in to the De- 
partment are the embodiment of ignorance. About one statement 

64 



SO-OAXiliED CIVIL. SERVICE REPOKM. 65 

in one hundred is correct in spelling and numerical computation. 
It is common for them to write "too" for two, and "foar" for 
four. One fellow actually addressed his letter to the " Sixth Or- 
ditor." Another fellow wrote "Frank Hatting " for the name of 
Arthur's dapper little Postmaster-General. There are 60,000 of 
these ignoramuses scattered throughout the States, yet no orator 
on the floor of Congress, or no newspaper, has had the temerity to 
expose their asininity, simply because they might be able to defeat 
the election of a congressman or impair the circulation of a so- 
called organ. Perhaps no newspaper in the country has howled 
more lustily for "reform" in the civil service than the notorious 
New York Tribune, yet that paper has never had the courage to 
demand that a more intelligent set of men be placed in charge of 
the nation's post-offices. Then there is the money-order system of 
the Post-office Department. This large business is under the su- 
perintendency of a Scotchman of the name of MacDonald. This 
man may not have the wisdom of a Solomon, but he is sensible 
enough to know that at least nineteen-twentieths of the jDostmas- 
ters of the country should be instantly decapitated for " cause," 
the " cause" being their superlative ignorance. MacDonald has a 
troop of special agents of the money-order system under his con- 
trol, who travel hither and thither, under the special direction of 
an Arkansas carpet-bagger of the name of M. La Rue Harrison. 
The pruning-knife of reform cannot be too soon applied to these 
"leeches" and their arrogant chiefs, the aforesaid MacDonald and 
Harrison. 

I might dwell at greater length upon this prolific theme, but why 
discuss a matter so manifest to an intelligent public ? The last one 
of the "fossils" drawing large salaries should be made to " walk 
the plank." The people, at the polls, have declared that the ras- 
cals must go. Honest men, who rendered the Democratic party 
good and faithful service, and who are "faithful," " competent," 
and " honest," want their places. Let members of Congress refuse 
to pass appropriations for the civil service commissioners, thus 
permitting the bottom to drop out of the ignoble concern. Eaton 
&, Co. have too good a thing of it to be permitted to longer remain 
where they are. They are naught but barriers in the way or worthy 
men getting office. "To the victors belong the spoils," and no 



66 SO-CAliIiED CIVIL SERVICE EEFOEM. 

political party can exist which refuses to reward its followers. 
Those Government clerks who for years have been drawing large 
salaries should be dismissed, and their places given to others, who 
have waited, watched, and prayed for Democratic success. Cur- 
tis, Schurz & Co. may howl themselves hoarse in the interest of 
their pet tenets, but the sober-headed Democratic leaders will not 
rest satisfied until they have given an indefinite leave of absence 
to those who have so long fed at the public crib. There is, or 
should be, no aristocratic class in this country. It was never so 
designed by the founders of the Republic. An office-holding class 
is, per se, an aristocratic class, and should be eliminated as a dan- 
ger and a menace to our beneficent system. Mr. Cleveland need 
not attempt to run Avith the " Mugwump" hound and the Demo- 
cratic hare. In the end he would certainly find himself stranded 
high on the rock of failure. Let him give Schurz & Co. a gentle 
hint that their counsels are not desirable, and then shape and pur- 
sue a course in keeping with the wishes of the masses who elevated 
him to the Presidency for the sole purpose of purifying the public 
service. Charles A. Dana's admonition, " Turn the rascals out,'''' 
should be so posted in the White House that wherever Mr. Cleve- 
land goes his vision can rest upon it. Not to obey that timely in- 
junction will be to invite and merit Democratic disaster in 1888. 



/ 



CHAPTER XVI. 
DUDLEY AND CALKINS. 

THE INSIDE HISTOBY OF THE GUBEBNATOEIAL CONTEST IN INDIANA TS 

1884. 

The unpleasantness existing between the Montagues and Capu- 
lets in ancient Verona did not begin to equal in asperity the differ- 
ences lately existing between those Hoosier statesmen, Calkins and 
Dudley. Each of these embryo statesmen believed that Indiana pol- 
itics would go to the demnition pow-wows unless he was selected to 
bear aloft the gubernatorial standard in 1884. To that end they 
entered the arena early and desperately, each determined to defeat 
the other, regardless of the means employed. Dudley was con- 
fident that he had the "inside track," and, to make assurance 
doubly sure, he journeyed all the way to Augusta, Me., where he 
conferred with the " plumed knight," whose distinctive candidate 
he considered himself. It is known that Mr. Blaine favored Dud- 
ley's nomination, and he covertly aided him to the extent of his 
ability, always being guarded not to let his preference be generally 
known. Blaine felt that Dudley's strength consisted in his having 
lost a leg in the war, and he believed that as the gubernatorial 
nominee he would catch many Democratic soldiers' votes. It was 
a stunning surprise to Mr. Blaine when Calkins received the nom- 
ination, and from that hour he had no hope of carrying Indiana 
in the then approaching national contest. In April, 1884, Dudley 
played his last and his strongest card when he attempted to enlist 
the influence of the negro politicians in his behaK, because of the 
fact that Calkins, as chairman of the Committee on Privileges 
and Elections in the House, had opposed the seating of the con- 
testants Lee and Smalls, of South Carolina, in the Forty-seventh 
Congress. Dudley was daily closeted with Lee and politicians of 
the black-and-tan order, vainly endeavoring to devise means for 
Calkins' defeat. Dudley's plan of procedure was to have the 
colored politicians protest against the nomination of Calkins, and 
threaten that they would influence their race to " knife him " if he 
attempted to run. To that end he employed the services of a 



68 DUDLEY AND CALKINS. 

Washington jovirnalist to make a savage attack on Calkins in the 
New York Globe, charging him explicitly with having wantonly de- 
prived Lee of his seat in Congress, and with doing all he could to 
deny admission to Smalls. Through Diidley's instrumentality the 
article in the Globe was republished in all the Indiana papers 
friendly to his interests, but it was of no avail, as Calkins defeated 
him in the convention nearly two to one. Defeated in his pet 
ambition, Dudley retired to his tent, Achilles like, and no one 
has had the temerity to charge that he did not do all in his power 
to defeat his party in Indiana at least. He would have liked to see 
Blaine carry that State, but, knowing that Blaine's success would 
mean that of his rival also, he prudently refrained from aiding the 
G. O. P. in any respect. It is an open secret in Washington that 
negro politicians employed in the Pension Office were principally 
engaged, weeks before the election, in writing letters to the negroes 
in Indiana, urging them to vote against Calkins. How eflfective those 
letters were may be inferred from the fact that Calkins only re- 
ceived about 40 per cent, of the negro vote throughout the State. 
Mr. Vice-President-Elect Hendricks and those Democratic gen- 
tlemen who reaped a political harvest in Indiana in 1884 should 
not omit to tender their warmest thanks to Colonel Dudley for the 
splendid indirect service he rendered in securing a Democratic vic- 
tory in the Hoosier State. Dudley and Calkins both belong to the 
the rule-or-ruin class, and they contributed their mite toward 
giving the G. O. P. a respite from the domination of national af- 
fairs. As a matter of fact, Indiana is noted for the selfishness of 
its politicians. Tom Browne, now representing that State in Con- 
gress, is a fine type of Hoosier ingratitude. In 1878 he defeated 
Judge Holman for Congress through the efforts of a Washington 
journalist, but Browne never even had the decency to thank him 
for the service rendered. " To sum them up," as the lawyers say, 
Hoosierdom can boast of as uncouth and ignorant a set of men in 
Congress of the Kepublican persuasion as any State in the Union. 
They are always engaged in turmoil and strife with each other, 
illustrating most happily in the contest of 1884 the truth of the old 
saw, that where knaves fall out honest men come by their dues. 



CHAPTER XVII. 
OFFICIAL PATRONAGE. 

HOW IT HAS BEEN DISPENSED IN THE SEVERAL DEPARTMENTS ANI> 
BUREAUS AT THE FEDERALi CAPITAL. 

The Jeffersonian prerequisite for holding office, to wit : "Is he 
competent, is he faithful, is he honest," has long since been con- 
signed to where Shakespeare does physic, " to the dogs.'" Ever 
since Jim Buchanan's time, at least, merit has counted for naught,, 
and offices have been bestowed for political service, past and pros- 
pective, but principally "prospective." To such an extent had 
the system of rewarding party service been carried under Grant s 
administration, that the habit of employing spies in the Depart- 
ments to report upon the political status of clerks and other em- 
ployes was resorted to, and every man and woman who was sus- 
pected of sympathizing with the Democracj^ were summarily 
" bounced," and their places conferred upon those who had potent 
Republican congressional influence. 

At the head of these spies was an old man named Edmonds, for 
a long time postmaster of Washington city, and a person of the 
name of John Stiles, who hailed from one of the British Provinces 
in North America. These men were especially desirous of ridding 
the Departmental service of Southern appointees, whom they re- 
garded prima facially as Democrats. Young men and women who 
had joined the Republican party at the beginning of the recon- 
struction era, and had rendered faithful party service, thus incurr- 
ing the bitter hostility of Southern Democrats, found themselves 
between the upper and nether stones of oppression as they were 
forced to withstand the assaults of Edmonds, Stiles & Co. , supple- 
mented by the efforts of Lamar, Hampton, Gordon & Co. to secure 
their dismissal from the public service. Between 1874 and 1877 no 
Southern man or woman felt safe in the Departments, and dozens 
of them were dismissed the service for no cause save that they 
were from the South. This rule did not apply to distinguished ex- 
rebels, for Grant persisted in holding Longstreet, McLaws, and 
Mosby in prominent positions iu their respective States, on the 
ground that they were his personal friends. One of the " strikers " 

. 69 



70 OFFICIAL PATRONAGE. 

employed by Edmonds and Stiles to ferret out Democrats in the 
Departments was an unprincipled adventurer of the name of 
Kockafellow, one of the carpet-bag genus who had alighted upon 
the soil of Georgia after the smoke of battle had cleared away. 
This scamp soon came to grief, as he attempted to levy blackmail 
upon his victims, which resulted in his arrest and subsequent flight 
from Washington. 

After Kockaf ellow's flight his place was taken by another blather- 
skite from Georgia, of the euphonious cognomen of " Skowhegan 
Bryant" But when Hayes entered the White House these scurvy 
characters were all remanded to the shades of private life, and the 
poor Southern emjDloyes were permitted to live in peace. Edmonds 
was dismissed from the City Post-office, and Stiles was relegated to 
the shades of Nova Scotia, there to ruminate upon the insecurity 
of official life. If a correct roster of the Departments and the 
Bureau of Engraving and Printing was prepared, it would be seen 
that nearly all the lewd women in those establishments were ap- 
pointed on the "influence" of leading newspaper men. These 
journalistic Blue Beards have long held undisputed sway as black- 
mailers at the Federal Capital. They represent so-called leading 
metropolitan journals, and by open threats of attacking public 
officials they succeed in foisting all the disreputable women they 
see fit into the best places in the Departments. Some of these 
whited sepulchres have pews in fashionable churches, and ride in fine 
carriages, attending all the society gatherings, but their nights are 
often spent in the lowest haunts of vice. When these lines come 
to their notice the guilty scamps may easily be pointed out by the 
venomous attacks which they will make through their journals 
upon our author. President Cleveland should lose no time in ap- 
plying a bran-new broom to the Bureau of Engraving and Print, 
ing, as the officers in charge of that establishment have prostituted 
their high trust in the interest of libidinous newspaper men to a 
greater extent than any other officials at the Federal Capital. The 
man Sullivan, practically the head of that unsavory caravansary, 
is generally disliked by those under him, because of his tyrannical 
treatment of them. While he fawns upon those possessing influ- 
ance, he frowns upon all who are not supported by a priest or a con- 
gressman. 



OFFICIAL PATRONAOE. 71 

If the administration is desirous of informing itself as to the 
thoroughly disreputable antecedents of many high officials, let it 
send to Erie, Pa., for Col. Simon Bolivar Benson, an ex-chief of the 
Secret Service Division, who is thoroughly posted on all ** the ways 
that are dark" that have so largely contributed to make Washing- 
ton the moral pest-house of the nation. 

The subject is so varied and the facts so numerous that I dare 
not trust my pen to recount them, but I turn the " moral lepers 
in the Washington Departments over to the tender mercies of Col. 
Benson and others, who will doubtless be on hand to aid in the 
purification of the public service. 

It was meet that there should be a change in the administration. 
The Kepublican party was unequal to the emergency of purify- 
ing the public service, and purging itself of the scoundrels who 
strode as confidently upon its prostrate form as did the old man of 
the sea upon the back of Sinbad the Sailor. The vampires have, 
for lo these twenty-four years, been bleeding the nation, and.fa.i-- 
ing sumptuously every day at the Federal feed trough. It is now 
quite time that they should be given a period of repose, and permit 
their places to be filled by a hungrier, but less dishonest set Some 
of these fellows will howl piteously and swear that their places 
cannot be filled ; that they are experts in their line, and moreover 
that they have always been good Democrats. Of this class the most 
illustrious exemplar will be Henry A. Lockwood, Deputy Commis- 
sioner of Customs, who is reputed to be rich, and if he was not a 
veritable leech he would have the decency to retire of his own 
volition, without necessitating the application of the toe of a stilf 
Executive boot to his west end. But I opine that Mr. Cleveland 
will not need incentives to induce him to purify the public service, 
as it is manifest that the Nation expects him to do his whole duly 
in cleaning out the Augean stables at the Federal Capit<al. 



CHAPTER XVIII. 
"LO! THE POOR INDIANS." 

HOW THEY HAVE BEEN ROBBED BY BASOALLY AGENTS AND HIGH 

OFFICIALS. 

The treatment of the American Indians by the army of scoun. 
(liels and thieves who have waxed rich by peculations upon moneys 
appropriated for their amelioration is a disgrace to the age, and 
loudly calls for redress by Mr. Cleveland's administration. The 
whited sepulchres who have been at the head of Indian affairs very 
soon reduced the art of robbing poor Lo down to perfection. It 
really appears that, for many years, those in charge of the interests 
of these simple children of the forest considered it their duty to 
place over them the most expert and unscrupulous thieves that 
Yankeedom could produce. On the theory that "the best Indian 
is the dead Indian," the ignoble army of Indian agents have de- 
spoiled them of all they could lay hands on. Who knows but 
that the Great Ruler of the Universe at last heard the silent 
prayers of these simple children of nature, and determined to hurl 
from power the Illiad of their woes — the Radical party ? It is surt 
prising when we contemplate the number and prominence of the 
apologists and defenders of these thieving Indian agents. Some of 
them claim to be religionists, and will unblushingly tell you that 
the Indian receives no worse treatment than he deserves ; that he 
has misapplied the talents givela him by the Great Father, and in 
consequence thereof he should be robbed of the little that he hath. 
Not a thieving agent, or a dishonest Secretary of the Department 
of the Interior, or an unscrupulous land robber, but who salves 
over his seared conscience by comparing the poor Indian to the 
unfaithful steward so graphically described in the parable. 

In 1856 the hope of the Democratic party lay in a divided oppo- 
sition. Dick Thompson was a leader of the recalcitrant faction 
that supported Fillmore, and thus made sure the defeat of Fremont 
and the election of Buchanan. Indiana was then, as now, a close 
State. The Democratic leaders bargained with Thompson to put 
a Fillmore electoral ticket in the field in Indiana. He did it, and 



"LO! the poor INDIANS." 73 

Buck and Breck. carried the State by a plurality. The Republi- 
cans knew that Dick Thompson had been bought, but did not 
dream that the poor Indians were to be compelled to pay the price 
of his treason to the party of freedom and justice. Thompson had 
a bogus claim, for pretended services as attorney, against the Me- 
nominee Indians. The Commissioner of Indian Affairs, Hon. Geo. 
W. Manypenny, a Democrat, had investigated this claim and had 
found it to be fraudulent. The Menominees said Thompson had 
never been their attorney, but had been attorney against them, and 
had helped certain parties to cheat them out of a large sum. The 
Commissioner therefore refused to endorse the claim of Thompson, 
but recommended that it be not allowed. Just four weeks, to a 
day, after Buchanan took his seat as President, Thompson got from 
the United States Treasury $43,000 of money held in trust for the 
Menominee Indians. This money was paid to him by Howell Cobb, 
Secretary of the Treasury, on the opinion of Jeremiah Black, At- 
torney-General, without the consent or knowledge of the Commis- 
sioner of Indian Affairs. Col. Manypenny had been continued in 
office as Commissioner up to this time, but on learning of this in- 
famous outrage upon the Menominees, and gross insult to him as 
the head of the Indian Bureau, he at once sent his resignation to 
the President, accompanied by a letter in which he characterized 
the swindle in proper terms. This letter was published in the daily 
papers, and Thompson, feeling that he must make a show of resent- 
ing the terrible charge against himself, had Manypenny arrested 
for malicious libel. He did not prosecute the case, but let it go 
out of court by default. This is the same Thompson who was 
Secretary of the Navy under Hayes. He is a good specimen of 
the latter-day Republican politicians, most of whom opposed the 
party in its infancy, and only came into it to divide the spoils aft<'v 
it had achieved success, despite their opposition, through the hon- 
est efforts of self-sacrificing men. 

GKANt's QUAKER POLICY WHY IT FAILED. 

The Quakers have always been friends of the Indians. Willitim 
Penn set the example of treating them kindly and justly, and bis 
policy proved successful ; so the Quakers as a sect have ever since 
maintained that if the Indians were treated justly Iu<liau wars 



•74 " LO I THE POOR INDIANS." 

would cease, and the Indians become civilized. On becoming Presi- 
dent, Grant resolved to turn the Indians over to the Quakers and 
let them manage them. This policy was violently opposed by the 
scoundrels who had been so long engaged in robbing the Indians, 
and by the politicians who had farmed out the various offices iu 
the Indian service to their political strikers. The other religious 
sects also objected. They demanded a division of the offices. A 
compromise was the result, and the Quaker policy did not get a 
fair trial. Its partial adoption was a great improvement, as is 
proven by the progress of the Indians toward civilization during 
the years from 1869 to the date of its abandonment, in 1881 . When 
Arthur became President, Teller, Secretary of the Interior, and 
Price, Commissioner of Indian Affairs, the Quaker policy was 
wholly repudiated, and the old corrupt system re-inaugurated. 
The Indian ring at once came to the fore and resumed the business 
of dictating all appointments in the Indian service. Under the 
new-old regime all the Indian inspectors and nine -tenths of the 
Indian agents appointed by former administrations have been re- 
moved from office, and the few agents who have been retained are 
the corrupt scoundrels who had crept in through false pretences, 
and have been kept in because they are in the ring. 

V. T. McGilly cuddy, agent at Pine Ridge, Dakota, is a fair speci 
men of this class. He was appointed in 1879, on the recommenda- 
tion of Commissioner E. A. Haight, of odorous memory. The In- 
dians at Pine Ridge, Red Cloud's people, are entitled by treaty to 
$570,000 a year, in money, provisions, clothing, &c. The agent 
handles this vast sum. McGillycuddy had not been agent a year 
when the Indians began to charge him with robbing them. This 
was during the campaign of '80, and no attention was paid to it. 
After election the charge was renewed. In the winter of '81 Red 
Cloud came to Washington and laid his charges before the Secre- 
tary, personally and confidentially, asking that an inspector be sent 
to investigate the agent. He said: "The agent the Great Father 
sent to distribute our provisions and clothing to us is robbing us of 
them and selling them to the traders, who sell them back to us at 
big prices." Red Cloud's charges were not investigated, but on 
his return home the agent issued an order for his arrest. This would 
have cost McGillycuddy his life if Red Cloud had not controlled 



"LOI the poor INDIANS." 75 

his warriors and borne his persecutions like a martyr. In August, 
1882, a petition from Pine Ridge, signed by the leading Indians and 
a large number of the employes of the agency, asking for an in- 
spector, was received at the office of the Secretary of the Interior. 
Fortunately Teller was absent, and Assistant Secretary Joslin, being 
in charge, ordered Inspector Pollock to proceed at once to Pine 
Ridge. Joslin had been in office but a short time and had not been 
properly coached. Pollock found that McGillycuddy was stealing 
by wholesale and retail. When he found that Pollock had the 
proof of his guilt, McGillycuddy submitted a written confession and 
threw himself upon the mercy of the inspector. Pollock suspended 
him from office, and reported to the Department. Teller, having 
returned to his post, at once suspended Pollock from office and re- 
stored McGillycuddy. When McGillycuddy's term of office expired 
in 1883, Teller re-appointed him, and he is still robbing Red Cloud 
and his people to the tune of from $100,000 to $200,000 a year. 

By authority of Teller he removed from office and the reserva- 
tion every white man and woman who had signed the petition for 
his investigation, or who testified against him, and supplied their 
places with a set of scalawags whom he could use. 

In June, 1884, Dr. T. A. Bland, editor of the Council Fire, pub- 
lished at Washington as the organ of the Quaker policy, was in- 
vited by Chief Red Cloud to visit him and advise with him and his 
people about the proposed division and reduction of their reserva- 
tion. Dr. Bland had published Pollock's report, letters from Red 
Cloud and other Indians, &c., thus making thorough expos4 of 
McGillycuddy ; hence he thought it best to arm himself with an 
official letter from Secretary Teller to Agent McGillycuddy before 
visiting Pine Ridge agency. Teller tried to dissuade the doctor 
from going, but finding him determined he reluctantly gave him a 
letter of authority to do so, in which he instructed the agent to af- 
ford him every opportunity to visit and confer with the Indians. 
Immediately on his arrival at the agency he was arrested by the 
chief of the Indian police, acting under orders from the agent. 
Doctor Bland handed his letter from the Secretary to the agent, 
who contemptuously refused to obey it, but at once ordered the 
chief of police to take an armed force of six men and forcibly re- 
move the doctor from the reservation. He was taken across the 



76 "loI the poor INDIAN8." 

line into the State of Nebraska, seven miles from the agency, and 
left there. On learning of this high-handed act the Indians were 
very indignant, and the war chief. Fire Lightning, proposed to 
muster his warriors at once and avenge the insult to their friend by 
killing the agent and all his corrupt crew of employes and police- 
men. But Red Cloud advised against any act of war until a dele- 
gation could be sent to find Dr. Bland and get his views of the 
matter. This counsel prevailed, and Spotted Elk, Fraid of Eagle, 
and Iron Bearer were sent to find the doctor. They found him at 
a ranch a short distance from where the police left him. He ad- 
vised against any act of retaliation on the ground that the agent's 
action, being an insult to the Secretary, as well as gross violation of 
the law, would surely result in his removal from office. This pre- 
vented an outbreak and saved McGilly cuddy's life. Dr. Bland re- 
mained at Ganow's ranch ten days, in daily conference with Red 
Cloud and his sub-chiefs, who visited him at will in defiance of the 
authority of the agent. He interviewed the leading white men re- 
siding in the vicinity of the reservation, who, without exception, 
confirmed the charges made by the Indians and Inspector Pollock 
against McGillycuddy. When he completed his investigation of 
the agent, and his talks with the Indians about their relations to 
the G^>vernment, the chief sent a force of forty warriors, armed 
with breech-loading rifles, to escort him across the reservation to 
the railroad, 150 miles. On his return to Washington he submitted 
a full report of his observations and experience to Secretary Teller ; 
at the Secretary's request he tiled his report in writing. This re- 
port was thrust into a pigeon-hole, presumably, with the report of 
Inspector Pollock, and McGillycuddy was allowed to continue in 
his career of official robbery. The Indians, and a good many 
whites, believe that McGillycuddy keeps himself in office by divid- 
ing with somebody. The reader is at liberty to share with the au- 
thor the privilege of guessing who that somebody is. 

These two are but samples of many cases that could be given did 
space permit. Is it any wonder that poor Lo does not take more 
kindly to our methods of civilizing him ? 



CHAPTER XIX. 
PAWN AND CURBSTONE BROKERS. 

THE DISREPTTTABIiE CREW WHO FEED UPON THE NECESSITIES OF THB 

POOR AND NEEDY. 

The fs«nous man of the land of Uz who furnishes ns with so beau- 
tiful a specimen of Hebrew poetry must have had the average 
Washington pawn and curbstone broker in his mind's eye when he 
so eloquently denounced the rapacious cormorants of his day " who 
took the widow's ox for a pledge." 

Of all the villainous characters who now afflict Washington city 
the aforesaid gentry are in the lead. With depraved hearts, and 
consciences seared bj^ long acquaintance with poverty in its direst 
forms, these creatures sit behind their desks demanding, Shylock 
like, the last pound of flesh. Their victims are the unfortunate of 
both sexes who have to raise a little money to keep the wolf away, 
or those Department clerks who have lived beyond their means and 
have to borrow money to pay the butcher, the baker, and the cabi- 
net maker. Let me say to the average Department clerk that he is 
a fool if he continues to pay 24 per cent, per annum or upwards 
for the use of money. Some of the sharks, yclept bankers, are in 
the habit of deducting 2 per cent, from the face of a note, and when 
the victim calls to take it up on matiirity, he is confronted with an 
additional charge of one per cent. Other brokers, who do not 
enjoy the dignity of standing behind so-called bank counters, bul 
who forage around on the outside, are prone to charge from 5 to 10 
per cent, per month, or from 60 to 120 per cent, per annum. An 
old petrified specimen of humanity, who has grown grey and de- 
crepit in the business of shaving the Department lambs, will never 
discount a paper for less than 10 per cent. off. I knew of a case 
where a poor clerk actually paid $500 interest for the use of $100 
for five years. At first glance this charge may look dubious, but 
there are doubtless many well-authenticated cases of a similar na- 
ture in all of the Departments. The average Government clerk 
must be an ignoramus if he does not know that there is a section in 
the Revised Statutes of the District of Columbia making it a mis- 

77 



78 PAWN AND CURBSTONE BEOKEP.8. 

demeanor for any person to charge more than 10 per cent, per 
annum for the use of money ; and the law expressly provides that, 
in a suit before any justice of the peace, the whole amount of in- 
terest paid, when in such excess, may be recovered from the de- 
fendant. They should very positively refuse to be further bled, 
and should lose no time in having a settlement with the " sharks" 
wi til whom they deal. When the exorbitant interest they have 
been paying, in excess of the legal rate of 10 per cent, per annum, 
is deducted from the principal, they will discover that the Shy- 
locks are in debt to them, and not they to the Shylocks. 

These brokers will try to make the Government clerks believe 
that their chances for holding office under Cleveland's admin- 
istration will be augmented if no clamorous creditors annoy the 
Departments to their injury. Such a pretence is manifestly ab- 
surd. On the other hand, those clerks who have been known to 
patronize the money-leeches will be in imminent danger of decapi- 
tation. The average " shark" will soon come to terms and agree 
to any honest settlement if he be threatened with a suit for the re- 
covery of usurious interest under the section of the Revised Stat- 
utes above referred to. 

It has not been uncommon for high Department officials to ad- 
vance money to curbstone brokers and their more scrupulous allies, 
the so-called bankers, who in turn lend it out to impecunious Gov- 
ernment clerks and others at illegal rates of interest. There are 
several officials of this class now in the Treasury Department, who 
should be made to vacate in the interest of less avaricious men. 

An Eastern man who acted as A.ssistant Secretary of the Treas- 
ury is alleged to have made considerable money in this dubious 
way, and, as is characteristic of the locality from which he hails, 
he saved every dollar of it. But perhaps his excuse would be that 
he flourished during the John Sherman era, when it was deemed a 
high virtue to heed the Shakespearian admonition. Fahenstock, 
the New York banker, who, through the instrumentality of Sher- 
man, took a long, and most successful pull at the Nation's teat, 
would be a most excellent witness for the defence in the event of 
Mr. Sherman deeming himself sufficiently aggrieved to bring a libel 
suit against me. 

But, to return to the "sharks" — the carrion crows of the curb- 



PAWN AND CURBSTONE BROKERS. 79 

stone. The changed administrutiou will very soon discover that 
the avocation of this reprehensible class is subversive of discipline, 
and is a serious detriment to the public service. A Government 
clerk is totally unfitted to perform his duties when perpetually 
harassed by the thought that if the " shark" refuses to renew his 
note, he will not have the means to support himself and family 
until the next pay-day rolls around. Hundreds of clerks have be 
come inebriates through the trouble engendered by the incessaul 
demands of these leeches. The disreputable class who have so long 
fed upon the impecunious clerks should be driven out as mercilessly 
as were those who bought and sold doves in the market-place, which 
is so graphically described in Holy Writ. A general order should 
be issued prohibiting clerks from patronizing such questionable 
business men as the foregoing, on the penalty of dismissal from the 
service if detected in its violation. The late Gresham, the titular 
head of the Post-Oifice Department, made an egregious ass of him- 
self by forbidding his clerks to buy tickets in the* Louisiana Lot- 
tery Company, an institution established under the Constitution of 
a sovereign State. With far greater propriety, and in strict com- 
pliance with the best interests of the Government, the heads of De- 
partments should step in between the " lambs " and the rapacious 
"wolves " who have been fleecing them for lo I these many years, 
and break up the notorious money-sharks. 



CHAPTEE XX. 
THE FATE OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. 

THE SCENE AT GAKFIELD'S INAUGTJEATION — m'vEAGH'S GAUNTLET — 
CONKIiING PEE8AGES THE COMING STORM — CONSTERNATION IN THE 
SENATE AT ROBERTSON'S NOMINATION FOR COLLECTOR — THE GREAT 
FIGHT AT ALBANY — THE CRACK OF GUITEAu's PISTOL — ARTHUR'S 

DILEMMA — Blaine's effort to entrap him — conkling's stormy 

INTERVIEW WITH THE NEW PRESIDENT — BOTH WINGS ANTAGONIZED — 
conkling's prophecy FULFILLED — THE BATTLE LOST THROUGH THE 
DISINTEGRATION OF THE PARTY. 

The possibility of the election of President Arthur as Senator 
from New York fails to find any encouragement on the part of the 
friends of Mr. Blaine. Though Mr. Blaine has made no public 
complaint, yet it is known that he feels that his fears respecting 
Stalwart treachery were fully justified, and that President Arthur 
is not without some responsibility for the party's defeat. It is 
feared, too, that possibly the election of the President might only 
intensify these factional differences, which all the wiser politicians 
in the party know to be the real cause of Mr. Blaine's defeat. 

One of the older politicians said re(?fently that if the story of the 
four years' administration now soon to end were told, in its re- 
lation to the party differences, then it would be seen that it was 
not Burchardism, nor Blaine's dinner, nor any other accident, but 
organic disease that brought defeat. That history has never been 
told in detail and consecutively as it is now given in that which 
follows ; and though many of the bare facts the public has known, 
yet much that is here reported has never been made public before. 
It has been necessary, in order that the relations of different de- 
tails to each other may be made clear, that some familiar facts 
should be repeated. 

When President Garfield read his inaugural speech on the blus- 
tering and dismal 4th of March, 1881, he was surrounded and lis- 
tened to by many of the great men of the Republican party. 
Directly behind him sat, with uncovered head, Vice-President 
Arthur. Within arm's length was the impressive face of James G. 
Blaine. Just beyond, the tall figure of Roscoe Conkling was con- 



THE FATE OF THE RBPUBUCAN PABTY. 81 

spicuous above the sea of heads, and by his side was Senator 
Eugene Hale. The cunning countenance of Wm. E. Chandler and 
the placid, mournful face of Thomas C. Piatt, John Logan's stern 
visage, and Whitelaw Eeid's smile of content, were there in close 
contact, and there were many others of less repute, who, but a few 
months before, had been arrayed against each other in the great 
struggle at Chicago which was the outcome of the factional divi- 
sions that had developed in the party. If anything of rancor, bit- 
terness, jealousy, envy, was there, it was hidden, and, to all appear- 
ance, the party had forgotten its schism, and was about to begin 
an era of that prosperity that comes of cordial union of purpose. 
Garfield, in his exuberant manner, afterwards spoke of the exhibi- 
tion there made as a happy augury for his administration. 

On the following day the President nominated his Cabinet, the 
Senate, of course, immediately confirming. The party at large, 
not knowing the embarrassments that the President had met in 
making up the Cabinet, nor the intense dissatisfaction with which 
his final decision was received by some leading Republicans, was 
disposed to be pleased with the choice. It was not known that 
Conkling had spoken of the Cabinet, as soon as he learned who 
were to compose it, as incongruous ; that the newly-elected Senator 
Frye — who knew Garfield as well as any man could know him — did 
not hesitate to express the gravest doubts about the success of an 
administration with such a body of advisers ; that Senator Allison 
rejoiced beyond his usual caution that he had at the last moment 
declined the Treasury portfolio, and that other wise and able Re- 
publicans spoke of the Cabinet as a dangerous experiment. These 
men knew what was hidden from the public ; that there was intense 
personal hostility and distrust entertained by Blaine and MacVeagh 
for each other, and that both, being men of strong wills and in- 
tense convictions, would be likely to cause a schism in the Cabinet 
from the beginning. 

For some weeks after the new administration began its duties it 
was eventless. ' The Republican party seemed at last at peace. 
The Senate droned along in daily but short executive sessions. 
Such nominations as were sent in were of no great importance. 
No clashing between the Executive and the Senate jarred the po- 
litical atmosphere until Mr. Chandler was nominated for the office 



82 THE FATE OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. 

of Solicitor-General of the Department of Justice. Mr. Chandler 
had had his eye on this office for a long time. Though not so 
lucrative nor conspicuous as some others, it conferred social dis- 
tinction and no little political influence, both strong inducements 
for Mr. Chandler to ask it. The nomination developed the evi- 
dence of discord in the Cabinet. Mr. MacVeagh, the Attorney- 
Oeneral, protested against it. He distrusted Mr. Chandler and 
despised his political habits, and he regarded the nomination as 
the result of a violation of a pledge that all the members of the 
Cabinet had taken to interfere in no way with any of the Depart- 
ments outside their own. Mr. MacVeagh held Mr. Blaine respon- 
sible for this nomination. The Attorney-General knew of the 
exceedingly close personal and political relations that existed be- 
tween Mr. Blaine and Mr. Chandler. He was well aware that Mr. 
Chandler had been Mr. Blaine's emissary the year before and had 
negotiated the bargain with Judge Robertson, of the New York 
Senate, by which Judge Robertson, in return for the promise of 
the collectorship of the port of New York, agreed to neglect the 
pledges exacted by the New York State Convention, break the unit 
Tule, and deliver his own and a few other votes from New York to 
Blaine in the Convention of 1880. 

Mr. MacVeagh therefore not only protested but threatened. 
Whatever his weaknesses, moral cowardice is not one. He threw 
his resignation at Garfield's feet, and only recalled it when the 
President assured him that Mr. Chandler's nomination was only 
foi-mal, and that it would not be taken amiss by the administra- 
tion if he should go on the floor of the Senate and urge it^s rejec- 
tion. This Mr. MacVeagh made haste to do, and with eminfent 
success. The incident was the first revelation of the tangle in 
which the party soon after became hopelessly involved, and it in- 
directly caused an estrangement between Mr. Chandler and Mr. 
Blaine that led to subsequent important results, and to one of the 
many magical revolutiqns of the four years' administration. At 
the time, however, it made little or no impression on the country. 
Mr. Chandler was simply known as a politician of the smarter 
though smaller kind, and the office involved was not one of great 
national importance. 



THE FATE OF THE KEPUBLICAN PARTY. O* . 

THE TUBKEY-COCK. 

Mr. Conkling, however, saw in this nomination and its subse- 
quent treatment the cloud no larger than a man's hand, that meant 
a future tempest. He did not hesitate to say to Mr. MacVeagh, 
with whom he was on friendly terms, that he so looked upon the 
incident, and that when the squall which it presaged came, it would 
be a furious one. Yet Mr. Conkling, though he had scented danger 
so long, was in a few days in its immediate presence, and, with all 
his keenness of perception, did not foresee that it was on the in- 
stant to come and overwhelm him. At the urgent invitation of the 
President, Mr. Conkling made his first visit to the White House in 
four years, and, with one exception, the only one he has made there 
since 1876. Excepting once in the winter, the Senator had not met 
the President since the memorable meeting at Mentor which turned 
the tide that threatened to submerge the Kepublican party. The 
friends of the President and of the Senator agree substantially on 
the following account of what occurred at the White House meet- 
ing : The President urged the Senator to make known with per- 
fect freedom his views and wishes respecting the New York patron- 
age, and assured Mr. Conkling that as far as possible they should 
be gratified. The Senator replied that he had nothing whatever 
to ask or suggest, but he added that he should be wholly content 
if Mr. Merritt were retained as collector of the port of New York 
until the end of his term, then some two years to run. The Presi- 
dent said that he had decided to tender to Judge Kobertson a Fed- 
eral ofl&ce of consequence in New York, and that he had the District 
Attorney's oflfice in mind. He wished to know whether the Senator 
would oppose that nomination. Thereupon Mr. Conkling made the 
remark so often quoted, that if the nomination was made, he sup- 
posed he could go to the cloak-room and hold his nose while the 
Senate considered it. Mr. Conkling^ subsequently told his friends 
that he regarded the oflSce as of no special consequence, and there 
was no preference between Judge Kobertson and him whom Mr. 
Conkling called " Little Stew. Woodford." 

Mr. Conkling went from the White House that night believing 
that Judge Kobertson would speedily be nominated for District 
Attorney. Yet he was convinced that though trouble might be for 
a time postponed, it must sooner or later be met. 



84 THE FATE OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. 

That very night, after Mr, Conkling went away, the President 
received a telegram from New York through the medium of Mr. 
John Hay, the intimate friend of Mr. Blaine and Mr. "Whitelaw 
Reid. It virtually commanded the President to nominate Judge 
Robertson for collector or to take the consequences. A copy of 
that telegram is still in existence. On that same night Mr. Blaine 
was reported to have threatened the President with his own dis- 
pleasure unless Judge Robertson's name was at once sent to the 
Senate for collector of the port of New York. Mr. Blaine also 
showed how the appointment could be made by recasting several 
other proposed nominations. 

The following day the private secretary of the President appeared 
at the door of the Senate with a message. He stood unrecognized 
for some moments, for a Senator was epeaking. Mr. Conkling was 
in his seat listlessly glancing at a newspaper. Vice-President 
Arthur had just entered from a temporary absence, and was toying 
with the little ivory mallet. He caused the Senator who was speak- 
ing to suspend for a moment, and received the Executive message. 
The sleepy Senate paid no heed to this. Scarcely any one looked 
up. Mr. Conkling leisurely turned his newspaper over. General 
Arthur carelessly glanced at the manifold copy of the message, but 
when his eyes fell on the lines written thereon he betrayed excite- 
ment. He read and read, and when he at length looked up his 
features were set and hardened. Not catching Mr Conkling's eye, 
he summoned a page and sent the sheet to the Senator's seat. Mr. 
Conkling read it with his usual deliberation. At length he looked 
up to the Vice-President, and the glance with which he met General 
Arthur's eye was full of significance. Mr. Conkling never wrote 
such a story on his expressive countenance as was then written on it. 
Always allowing his emotions fiiU play, his countenance was now 
awful to look upon. Senators near by saw this, and knew at once 
that some startling thing had happened. They one by one gathered 
about him, but he said nothing. He simply pointed to the mes- 
sage, and soon after resumed his reading. This strange pantomime 
had been observed in the galleries, and the frequenters whispered 
to one another, asking what it meant. The keen-eyed reporters 
were at the doors of the Senate in a moment seeking an explanation- 
Senators of both parties gathered in little groups in the rear. 



THE FATE OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. 85 

Those who understood the significance of the message explained it 
to those who did not. Mr. Conkling sat there alone reading his 
paper, and the Vice-President tapped gently with the gavel. The 
strain was too great for the Senate to endure, and the doors were 
soon closed, that there might be the relief that the freedom of an 
executive session gives. 

The President had simply nominated Judge Robertson for col- 
lector of the port of New York. 

It was a solemn time for the Republican Senators. Though there 
was almost no appreciation in the party throughout the country 
of the critical condition, nor any proper realization of the conse- 
quences to the party that would follow this nomination, yet the 
Senators grasped the situation fully. They knew that the appoint- 
ment meant nothing but the driving of Mr. Conkling and his New 
York following to the wall. Mr. Allison, who was one of the few- 
men who retained the personal friendship of both Mr. Conkling 
and Mr. Blaine, exerted himself night and day to have the blunder, 
as he regarded it, righted. Mr. Sherman, whose relations with Mr. 
Conkling were unfriendly, regarded the appointment as a sad and 
needless mistake. Mr. Hoar, who cordially disliked Mr. Conkling, 
was not blind to the effect of the nomination. Mr. Logan, Mr. 
Cameron, Mr. Teller, and Mr. Jones were not less anxious than 
indignant. Mr. Piatt, who had just entered the Senate, was per- 
sonally much affected. He had pledged himself when elected to 
the Senate not to vote against the President's New York appoint- 
ments, but he had never dreamed that Judge Robertson would be 
nominated to the most powerful political office out of Washington. 
Mr. Piatt could not in honor or with fidelity to his friends Conk- 
ling and Arthur vote for confirmation. He decided, therefore, 
that if the nomination were forced to a vote he would resign. Mr. 
Piatt was subsequently dubbed "Me too," but the term of derision 
was unjustly given. It was he who first determined to resign, not 
Mr. Conkling. 

As the day passed, the situation became more and more gloomy. 
Almost every Republican Senator had personally urged the Presi- 
dent to withdraw the nomination. All sorts of schemes were pro- 
posed by which the difficulty could be satisfactorily adjusted. 
The Republican Senators caucussed on it, but they were met at the 



86 THE FATE OF THE BEPUBL.ICAN PABTY. 

■very threshold of their caucussing by the embarrassing fact that 
immemorial custom of the Senate had always given the Senators 
from the State to which a nomination was credited the privilege of 
saying whether the Senate should confirm it or not. At last a com- 
mittee of Senators called upon the President and made proposi- 
tions looking toward a dignified settlement. For the first time the 
President showed signs of yielding. Senators like Frye and Allison, 
who knew Garfield well, were satisfied that he Avas acting in the 
matter contrary to his nature. They detected, as they thought, 
signs of great annoyance, embarrassment, and once of positive dis- 
tress on his part. They knew that he had no personal animosity 
toward Mr. Conkling, and they were convinced that he was sub- 
jected to an imperious, relentless influence which he could not re- 
sist. There was only one man, they were sure, who could exercise 
such power, and he was Mr. Blaine. The reasons for such exercise 
were plain. The President indicated to this committee of Kepub- 
lican Senators a desire to break away, to yield, and at last the com- 
mittee believed that a satisfactory arrangement had been made, to 
the effect that all the important New York nominations should be 
withdrawn, no more made, and the Senate permitted to adjourn 
dne die. 

The very next day all of the New York nominations that had 
been made professedly to satisfy the Stalwarts were withdrawn, 
but that of Judge Robertson was not. The ultimatum had come. 
The relentless power back of the Executive had asserted itself 
again. The Senators must choose between the President and Mr. 
Conkling, and self-preservation left almost all of them, as they 
thought, no choice. If it came to this crisis, nearly all of the 
Senators had told Mr. Conkling that they would be compelled to 
stand with the President. So they did. Judge Robertson was 
confirmed. Up to this time the party throughout the country had 
but faint conception of the agony and dread of those days their 
Senators had experienced. So far as possible the Senators had 
kept their solicitude secret, so that, if all went well, the party need 
know nothing of the danger to which it had been exposed. 

On the Monday following Judge Robertson's confirmation Sena- 
tors Conkling and Piatt resigned, and the secret was out. Roth 
the Senators left the chamber the instant the vote was taken, and 



THE FATE OF THE BEPUBLIOAN PARTY. 87 

neither has set foot in it since. Now the party knew that which 
before had been only vaguely surmised. War had been declared 
and the gage accepted. " It is the beginning of the end, I fear," 
said Senator Allison. 

THE PLOT THICKENS. 

Whether Mr. Conkling intended to be a candidate for re-election 
when he resigned or not, is known only to himself, Arthur, Senator 
Piatt, and perhaps one other. The best opinion is that it was at 
the suggestion of Gen. Arthur that the two Senators decided to ap- 
peal at once to the legislature. Certainly, Arthur cordially approved 
of the effort, even to the point of promising to aid personally at 
Albany. No action of his political life has been more deeply re- 
gretted by Arthur, especially as it caused embarrassment subse- 
quently more annoying than the country has dreamed of. 

Though the effort to secure a re-election met with defeat, yet 
neither the party nor the faction gained anything, for the suc- 
cessors were men utterly unfit for the delicate task of restoring 
harmony in New York, and so notoriously incompetent to reprfe- 
eent the great State in the Senate, that its influence there now is 
pitiably small. After the first shock that the resignations caused 
to the administration had passed away, the old, relentless power 
asserted itself. Mr. James and Mr. MacVeagh were to be speedily 
forced out of the Cabinet. Mr. Blaine despised and distrusted Mr. 
James, and he feared and hated Mr. MacVeagh. Successors con- 
genial to him had been decided upon. 

Then, in the flashing of a pistol, destinies were changed,- the 
power of the powerful vanished, and again the weak things of the 
world confounded the mighty. 

In the summer months in which Garfield lay slowly dying, fac- 
tional strifes were suspended. Mr. Conkling in that period, in 
conversation with a United States Senator, said in effect, speaking 
of the party troubles and the recent clashing of factions, that the 
crisis was impending for the party as surely as it was for the Na- 
tion in I860. It was inevitable, as sure as cause and effect, as log- 
ical a consequence of the diverse tendencies that had been nurtured 
in the party as a geometrical demonstration. Whether this terri- 
ble catastrophe would check it was a problem of the future. 



88 THE FATE OF THE EEPUBLICAN PARTY. 

Mr. Conkling was, however, of little faith. He was disposed to 
believe that nothing but the terrible discipline of defeat awaited 
the party. 

During these summer months, while there was party peace, there 
was also the exercise of the craft of the politician, which had an 
important relation to subsequent events, and of which the history 
until now has never been told. "When the Vice-President arrived 
in Washington on the morning succeeding the day that Garfield 
was assassinated, he was in great mental distress. Always sensitive 
almost to the point of morbidness, he heard with the keenest pain 
the accusations that he and his faction were responsible for Gui- 
teau's act. He had passed a sleepless night on his way from New 
York, and had determined on his couise when he reached Wash- 
ington. The Vice-President had decided, in case of the death of 
the President before public opinion did justice to his successor, 
that his first act woiild be to convoke the Senate in special session, 
urge the immediate election of a Vresident pro tern., and then re- 
sign the office of President. A new election would, under the law, 
be held the following November. Arthur had so decided, because 
he felt that in the then state of public excitement it would be 
almost impossible for him to administer the Government. 

Among the first to call on him after his arrival was Mr. Blaine, 
who was so kind and considerate that the Vice-President was 
touched Mr. Blaine was with him much of the time that day, and 
when, in the afternoon, Arthur thought to take a ride to refresh 
himself — for he was very weary with lack of sleep and worn with 
mental distress — Mr. Blaine urged him not to do so. The Secretary 
said that the Vice-President should not risk his life. 

Arthur, however, replied that if his life was sought he would be 
safe nowhere. 

Mr. Blaine then urged him to take on the driver's box a de- 
tective. 

Arthur declined, saying that a detective would deter no assassin. 
Mr. Blaine seemed annoyed when the Vice-President went for the 
ride, and was relieved only on his safe return. 

"The truth was," said Arthur, when mentionifig the incident 
afterward, " at that time I was in such distress that I did not care 
if some one shot me." 



THE FATE OF THE REPUBLICAN PAETT. 89 

When it became apiJarent that the President would linger for 
some time, Mr. Blaine of all the Cabinet was the most solicitous 
abont the Vice-President's health, and Arthur for some time had 
no reason to doubt that that solicitude was due simply to Mr. 
Blaine's anxiety lest the country be without an Executive. There 
being no President pro tempore of the Senate and no Speaker of 
the House, a contingency might arise for which no provision had 
been made by law. Mr. Blaine knew, too, what the country was 
ignorant of, that Arthur's friends were seriously alarmed about 
him. He had grown moody, depressed, and melancholy, and it 
seemed almost impossible to divert his mind. He seldom went be- 
yond his doors. When he first returned to New York after Garfield 
was shot, old acquaintances who met him would say : ** Well, Gen- 
eral, when you become President the Stalwarts will be on top 
again. " Such remarks were most distressing to him, not only be- 
cause of their indecency, but because they showed that some of 
his greatest trials, if he had to assume the oflSce, would be caused 
by his old Stalwart friends. 

Blaine's manceuvbing. 

Mr. Blaine had been informed early in the illness of the Presi- 
dent that there was no hope for recovery. The Secretary began a 
correspondence with the Vice-President, which at first was limited 
to information about the President's condition and solicitous in- 
quiries about the Vice-President's health. Little by little, how- 
ever, the scope of his correspondence was extended to suggestions 
and unasked advice respecting Arthur's course. It became so bold, 
suggestive, and insinuating that it did not fail to induce the sus- 
picion that Mr. Blaine was striving to gain whatever of the Vice- 
President's favor he could. At length Mr. Blaine began to intimate- 
that it was a very serious question whether the emergency of a 
President's inability, provided for by the Constitution, had not 
arisen. The intimation vexed and distressed the Vice-President. 
When the subject had been casually broached by some legal friends 
in his presence, he said that nothing but national extremity would 
induce him to consider the matter, and then only in response to 
unmistakable public opinion. At several of the informal meetiiigs 
of the Cabinet, Mr. Blaine had suggested that President GarfieM'B 



90 THE FATE OF THE KEPUBLIOAN PAKTY, 

inability was clearly -within the meaning of the Constitution. Sec- 
.retary Windom and Secretary Hunt were inclined to this view, but 
Mr. MacVeagh opposed it. 

One evening early in August, a warm personal friend of the Vice- 
President received a telegram from Postmaster- General James 
. urging him to meet Mr. James at the Pennsylvania depot in Jersey 
City on the arrival of the evening train from Washington. The 
Postmaster-General was met, and driven rapidly to Gen. Arthur's 
house. There it was learned that after a stormy session of the 
Cabinet Mr. James had been sent to New York with a message of 
great importance. It appeared that Mr. Blaine had called a Cabi- 
net meeting that morning, at which he asserted that the time had 
come for the Cabinet to declare that the President labored under 
such inability as the Constitution contemplated, and that it was 
the duty of the Vice-President to assume the functions of the ofl&ce 
until the disability had passed away. There followed a stjormy 
scene. Mr. MacVeagh characterized the proposition as monstrous 
and revolutionary. Mr. Blaine, however, showed the draft of an 
address he had j)repared, being in the nature of a Cabinet request 
to the Vice-President to take the subject into immediate considera- 
tion. Mr. Kirkwood suggested that before anything more was done 
the Vice-President should be consulted ; and, being supported by a 
majority of the Cabinet in this, it was decided that Mr. James 
should go at once to New York and informally lay the whole mat- 
ter before the Vice-President, get his views, and report to the Cabi- 
net the next morning. 

Mr. James did not need many minutes to get Gen. Arthur's opin- 
ion. It was given ^vith force, in a few words, and was an emphatic 
negative to the project. Mr. James was able to take the midnight 
train for Washington and to give Arthur's answer to the Cabinet 
the next morning. The subject was never mentioned again by the 
Cabinet. 

In all this, as well as in other more trivial incidents, Mr. Arthur's 
closest friends could not help suspecting that which Mr. MacVeagh 
afterward asserted to be a fact, that Mr. Blaine had determined, if 
possible, to be as close to power in Arthur's administration as he 
had been in Garfield's. 

Immediately after the funeral of General Garfield, President 



THE FATE OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. 91 

Arthur informecT the Cabinet that it was his wish that the Secre- 
taries should retain their portfolios, at least until he could be thor- 
oughly informed of his predecessor's purposes and policy. The 
President announced that it was his intention, so far as possible, to 
carry out the policy and the intentions respecting appointments of 
the late President. "With one exception, the Cabinet consented to re- 
main. Mr. MacVeagh, however, in spite of the President's repeated 
requests, insisted, even, as the President thought, to the point of 
mdeness, in retiring at once. Mr. MacVeagh's reasons were re- 
ported by his friends to be a fear that President Arthur would fall 
even more completely under Mr. Blaine's influence than President 
Garfield had, and also that the new President would shield the 
star route conspirators. Mr. James and Mr. Windom announced 
that they should retire at as early a period as would be convenient 
to the President ; the former to accept a remunerative business 
opportunity in New York, the latter to compass his immediate re- 
election to the Senate from Minnesota. 

One who was in the Cabinet at that time subsequently said : 
" President Arthur was one with whom the Cabinet, with the ex- 
ception of Mr. James, had slight acquaintance. In the first few 
Cabinet meetings he seemed the scholar more than the master. 
He said little except in the way of interrogatory, but we were soon 
impressed that he was a man of firmness and conviction, though 
extremely deliberate. He had not been in office a month before 
we saw that his factional preferences would have no control over 
his actions. We were surprised at the unyielding purpose to carry 
out General Garfield's intentions respecting appointments, and he 
never hesitated to take the assurance of any of us respecting those 
intentions. Some of these nominations were of men who had bit- 
terly attacked and ojjposed President Arthur, but that seemed not 
to be thought of by him. It was plain, however, that in following 
this course he knew that he should alienate some of his best friends. 
We knew something of the pressure that the Stalwart faction was 
bringing to bear on him. We could not help feeling, therefore, 
that in spite of his course the factional disturbances that had been 
80 demoralizing would not be quieted." 



92 THE PATE OF THE BEPUBLICAN PARTY. 

AETHUB AND BLAINE. 

During these first weeks of the new era in the four years' admin- 
istration Mr. Blaine was in as frequent consultation with the Presi- 
dent as he was permitted to be. The Secretary found the Presi- 
dent, though cordial, yet cautious, self-shielding, and his own 
master, traits of character which surprised Mr. Blaine. The Sec- 
retary had judged the President by his public repute as a local 
I3olitician, and had believed that he would be bewildered and con- 
'fused by the duties of his office, and, therefore, would gladly lean 
on some one of the experience in public affairs that the Secretary 
of State had gathered from twenty years' life in public. He found 
it, however, extremely difficult to get near the President. No con- 
fidences were asked, and, though the Secretary was not repulsed^ 
he was not sought beyond the limit of his official duties. Yet Mr. 
Blaine did not know that at that time the President had already 
been estranged from one of his warmest friends because he had 
refused summarily to remove Mr. Blaine from the Cabinet. 

The facts of that estrangement are these : 

Not many days after Arthur became President, Mr. Conkling 
came to Washington expressly to see him. The President was liv- 
ing at that time in Senator Jones' house on Capitol Hill. Mr. 
Conkling arrived early in the morning, and, after breakfasting with 
the President, they secluded themselves in the little library that 
Arthur used for his private office. They were closeted for five 
hours. The conversation, at first friendly, became heated, and at 
last the tones of Mr. Conkling's voice were so pronounced and his 
excitement and indignation so great that it became necessary to 
convey to him an intimation that he was being heard beyond 
the doors of the room. He was advising, urging, protesting, and 
warning. The President expostulated, but all that he said seemed 
the more to arouse Mr. Conkling. At last the door opened, and 
with the most frigid of courtesies and with an angry face Mr. 
Conkling left the house, took the first train to New York, and, with 
one exception, has never since spoken to the President. 

It appears that Mr. Conkling came to Washington to consult 
with the President about his policy in general, and especially re 
specting his treatment of certain prominent men. So far as Mr. 



THE FATE OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. 93 

Conkling's couusel respecting the general policy of the new ad- 
ministration was concerned, the President recognized its wisdom 
and statesmanlike soundness ; but when it came to the course to be 
followed toward individuals, a radical and to Mr. Conkling a sur- 
prising difference was found to exist. The President refused to 
remove Collector Kobertson. Even though he was reminded by 
Mr. Conkling that it was what he termed Judge Robertson's treach- 
ery that had caused much of the factional trouble, and although 
the President was also reminded that he knew Judge Robertson 
well enough to be certain that he would use his office against the 
personal interests of the President and his party friends, yet Arthur 
was firm in his refusal. The President asserted that, as a matter 
of policy even, it would prove unwise and harmful if he removed 
the Collector. The President said that he had already seen enough 
of such party troubles as those through which they had just passed, 
and that he had determined if fate made him President to do all in 
his power to unite the party instead of dividing it still more widely. 
Mr. Conkling admitted that the President's desire was a worthy 
one, but he believed that if it were to be accomplished, it would 
be by action, not inaction. But Mr. Conkling added that he was 
astonished that the President did not see that some division was 
inevitable, that the schism was to some extent permanent, and that 
there only remained such a course as would strengthen himself, 
and put as small a number as possible on the other side of the di- 
viding line. Mr. Conkling assured the President that his proposed 
course, while it might bring him a few of his former party enemies, 
would cost him many of his party friends. His idea was that 
courageous and heroic treatment would be best for the party, pro- 
vided it was tempered with tact and wisdom. 

The President declined to accept this view. 

Next Mr. Conkling asserted that the President could not afford 
to tolerate Mr. Blaine in the Cabinet. If no other considerations 
suggested themselves, Mr. Conkling was sure that the certainty 
that Mr. Blaine would imperil the success of the administration 
ought to weigh with the President. 

Arthur, in reply, said that while he had no idea that Mr. 
Blaine would remain many months in the Cabinet, yet he had no 
intention of asking for his resignation. The President thought 



94 THE FATE OF THE BEPUBLIOAN PARTY. 

that he understood Mr. Blaine well enough to know that he would 
speedily be compelled of his own accord to leave the administra- 
tion. Mr. Conkling protested against such method of treating the 
Secretary of State. He was convinced that Blaine would make 
and the President lose by it. Still the President firmly refused to 
do as Mr. Gonkling suggested, and thus another of the strange rev- 
olutions of the four years occurred. Arthur and Mr. Conkling 
were estranged, and the friendship of years was broken by reason 
of the very party troubles that had but a few months before drawn 
them together more closely than ever. 

ARTHUR WATCHING BLAINE. 

Through the full month that followed his accession to the office 
the President watched his Secretary of State more closely than the 
suspicious mind of Mr. Blaine dreamed. Though outward rela- 
tions were cordial, the President had taken pains, of which Mr. 
Blaine was ignorant, to inform himself of all that was transpiring 
at the State Department. The President learned more than Mr. 
Blaine had mentioned in the Cabinet meeting. He discovered that 
Mr. Blaine was conducting the delicate correspondence with Chili 
and Peru not only in a manner which was wholly disapproved by 
the President, but that he had kept the administration in ignorance 
of what he was doing. When at length the President informed 
Mr. Blaine what he had learned, the Secretary was not frank, and 
would not admit the accuracy of the President's information until 
confronted by proof. Of this the country did not know ; but it 
did know that the President had suddenly and peremptorily altered 
the instructions of the Secretary to our special envoys, and that he 
had done so to avert the danger of war with Chili. 

It was not so much the mortification 'of the implied censure, 
whose publicity could not be avoided, as the private exposure of 
his lack of good faith toward the administration of which he was 
a member that compelled Mr. Blaine's early withdrawal from the 
Cabinet. Moreover, the disclosure had came at the very time that 
delicate hints had been made to the President looking toward a 
political alliance with Mr. Blaine. The Secretary had caused it to 
be conveyed to the President that there had been an agreement 
with Garfield that none of the Cabinet should have his eye on the 



THE PATE OF THE REPUBLICAN TARTY. 95 

succession, but that Garfield should be supported for that, and Mr. 
Arthur was informed that Mr. Blaine was willing and anxious to 
renew that bond with him, providing the State Department re- 
mained in his control. These hints were not noticed by the 
President. 

There had been another cause of difference between the Presi- 
dent and the Secretary. It arose in connection with the proposed 
Congress of American nations, which was a hobby of Mr. Blaine's. 
The President neither believed in its expediency nor in the pro- 
posed manner of convoking it. He asserted that Mr. Blaine'H 
scheme was an old one; that it had been one of John Quincy 
Adams' projects, and had in his administration excited much de- 
bate in Congress, and had met an inglorious failure. The President 
saw no reason for a repetition of the attempt, and had decided 
convictions about the policy of the proposed Congress. 

To Mr. Blaine the President's opposition was a bitter disappoint- 
ment. Foiled in his purposes, Mr. Blaine retired from the Cabi- 
net, and never afterward failed to speak of the President with the 
contempt that is born of extreme personal hostility ; and his nu- 
merous friends, then, as always, took their cue from him. 

Yet the President, struggling to harmonize the party, took special 
pains to make it appear that he harbored no enmity toward Mr. 
Blaine. He appointed Walker Blaine a special envoy to South 
America, and later made him one of the special counsel for the Gov- 
ernment before the Alabama Claims Commission, and in other 
ways sought to appease Mr. Blaine and his friends. All to no pur- 
pose, however. 

Thus, on the threshold of his administration, Arthur was met 
with most embarrassing and annoying difficulties, which threat- 
ened not only mortifying personal failure in his Presidency, but i < > 
involve the party in the mire, instead of extricating it. Ho had 
lost the support of Conkling, and had incurred his displeasure. 
Of course, that took from him the support of much of Mr. Conk- 
ling's folloMdng in New York, comprising some of the Hlirewdest 
politicians in the State. The President had also seriously offended 
Mr. Blaine, and in the most dangerous way, by subjecting him to 
mortification. He had, sooner than seemed possible, discovered 
that Mr. Conkling was right in his predictions. It seemed as 



&6 THE PATE OF THE BEPUBLICAN PABTY. 

though he would be left without support, or else must build up a 
third faction, based on Executive favor, and sure to be known as 
the Arthur faction. The President keenly appreciated the situa- 
tion, and spoke of it to his intimate friends. He said once : " If I 
succeed in harmonizing the discordant elements, as now seems 
almost impossible, there must be a victim somewhere, and I shall 
probably find myself that victim ; yet, if I do not succeed, what a 
position I shall find myself in ! " 

There was another perplexity not known to the country which 
gave the President great anxiety. That was the course of the Re- 
publican Senators. There was not open and pronounced hostility, 
but there was coldness, restraint, and no promise of siipport. The 
President could not put his finger on any act of hostility, but the 
manner of his party in the Senate was distant and frigid. Mr. 
Blaine and Mr. Conkling had both left strong friends in the Senate, 
and while the antagonisms on the part of the following of each re- 
mained, there was a union in sentiment in dislike for the President. 
Blaine's friends were the more pronounced in their hostility ; Conk- 
ling's more reserved. Blaine's friends did not hesitate at times 
bitterly to denounce the President; Conkling's exchanged their 
views among themselves. There were some exceptions. Gen. 
Hawley was one. He gave the President strong support from the 
first. So did Teller, Edmunds, and Cameron, and, to some extent, 
Logan and Anthony. Some carried their hostility so far that they 
would not go to the White House. Senator Miller, of New York, 
was one of these, and Senator Sherman another. Senator Hoar 
made one or two brief imperative calls, which ceased after the 
President had appointed Mr. Hoar's friend. Judge Gray, to the 
Supreme Bench. It was at that time that the President received, 
as he said, more cordial sympathy from some Senators on the Dem- 
ocratic side than from his own party, leading to friendships that 
will long endure, 

THE ARTHURIAN ERA. 

The President had determined to make no removals except for 
cause, and no one will know the pressure that was brought upon 
him by Stalwarts from all parts of the country. He refused to 
listen to these appeals, and this refusal alienated many men. On 



THE FATE OF THE KEPUBLICAN PARTY. '.)7 

the other hand, his course in rigidly caiTying out Gen. (larlield's 
purposes respecting appointments brought him but little support 
from Garfield's friends. It was indeed a gloomy prospect for the 
party when the winter set in. 

The President also incurred the hostility of powerful men be- 
cause he refused to make a personal matter of the Republican* 
caucus nomination^ in the Senate. The political power being 
evenly divided, with Senator Davis' vote the controlling one, the 
Democrats had been able to prevent the election of Mahone's can- 
didate, Riddleberger, as Sergeant-at- Arms, and Geo. C Gorham as 
Secretary. Mr. Gorham had been one of the most ardent sup- 
porters of the President, and at no little personal sacrifice, and 
there was no doubt that a little Executive pressure would have 
compassed his election. The President was strongly urged by in- 
fluential Republicans to use his power for Mr. Gorham, but he re- 
fused. Mr. Gorham's friends were grievously offended, and the 
effect was seen soon after in indifference and apathy on the part of 
some of the most vigorous workers in the party. These most 
dangerous and insidious of party diseases it was plain were eating 
their way into both wings of the party, and the danger of this Mr. 
Conkling had pointed out months before. 

In the winter session the President had to withstand a pressure, 
the force of which the couutrj' never knew, and the withstanding 
of which did him and the party great hami, though he earned the 
good opinion of the countrj^ for it. The enormous river and harbor 
bill, making appropriations of $18,000,000, had passed both houses. 
Arthur had during its consideration given it an amount of at- 
tention which no one suspected. Night after night, with maps, 
engineers' reports, and the history of jDrevious legislation before 
him, he studied the subject. He decided to veto the bill, and he 
thereby put a spark to gunpowder. He was besieged night and 
day, pleaded with, threatened with loss of personal support, told 
that a veto would ruin the party. The pressure was almost over- 
whelming and unanimous on the part of Congress. Yet the veto 
went in. The act cost him the support of many in the House of 
Representatives, and made enemies of some who had not been hos- 
tile before. Mr. Blaine seized the opportunity. He told his 
friends that the veto was unwarranted, unjustifiable, and infamous, 
beyond the spirit of the Constitution, if not its letter, and pro- 



98 THE FATE OF THE EEPUBLICAN PARTY. 

mulgated the idea that on the simple question of the amount of a 
legislative appropriation the President had no right to set his 
judgment against that of Congress. While the country to some ex- 
tent approved the veto, it was of great damage to the party by 
intensifying the apathy of some of the political workers. They 
thought it contemptible fbr the President to attempt to deprive 
them of patronage. 

The Cabinet had been almost entirely recast, and to the great 
Jisgust of some leading politicians The appointment of Mr. Fre- 
linghuysen as Secretary of State was intensely distasteful to the 
friends of Mr. Blaine. The retirement of Mr. Kirkwood was re- 
sented in Iowa, while in Mr. Teller's appointment some Eastern 
Stalwarts found cause for complaint. The appointment of Judge 
Folger as Secretary of the Treasury did not bring the support to 
the administration that was expected. But when the name of Mr. 
Chandler was sent to the Senate for the office of Secretary of the 
Navy much indignation was felt, though not openly expressed, on 
the part of the leaders of both factions. This appointment was 
one of the many magical transformations of the four years. A year 
before kicked out of the Senate when nominated for a minor office, 
and when Blaine could have saved him, now the agile little politi- 
cian entered the Cabinet from which Mr. Blaine had with some 
ignominy departed. Mr. Blaine's friends were angry that he 
should have taken the place, and from them came stories of the 
lobbying and business influences that Mr. Chandler had used to 
secure it. The Stalwarts, especially Mr. Conkling and Mr. Piatt, 
who had never forgiven Chandler for tempting Judge Kobertson 
astray, were indignant, and from them emanated reports that 
Cliandier had entered the Cabinet as Blaine's secret agent, by 
whom all the secrets of the administration were to be betrayed. 

Thus the clashings of jealousy and hostility were intensified, and 
' iiidifference and apathy became more and more apparent. In addi- 
tion, the test elements in the party, that had taken no part in the 
factional trouTales were disaifected, because Mi*. Chandler stood in 
bad repute among them. 

FOLGER'S DOWNFALIi. 

The fall elections of 1882 were the first opportunity for deter- 
mining how deep-seated the apathy and indifference were, and 



THE FATE OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. 99 

these elections came soou after the adjournment of Congress. 
There has always been a dispute about the precise amount of pres- 
sure the administration brought to bear to secure the nomination 
of Judgd Folger for governor of New York. Some of Arthur's 
friends insist that it was against his wish that Judge Folger's name 
was first suggested, and that the President at last only yielded his 
opinion when he was assured that no other Republican could carry 
the State of New York. The President's pride, too, was touched, 
when it was asserted that if Judge Folger's name was presented to 
the convention he would be beaten so badly for the nomination 
that the country would regard it as a signal condemnation of the 
administration. Whatever the truth, it is a fact that at the Fifth- 
avenue conference, at which the President was present, he insisted 
that Judge Folger shoiild be nominated. Mr. Conkling at that 
same time and place advised against the nomination. He had 
great regard for Judge Folger, and did not wish to see him nomi- 
nated only to be beaten. Mr. Conkling believed that it was im- 
possible for any Republican to carry New York at the approaching 
election. Judge Folger was himself greatly embarrassed. He did 
not want the nomination. He most earnestly wanted to remain 
where he was. Yet his hands and tongue were tied. 

After Mr. Folger was nominated Mr. Blaine wrote other letters 
than that to Mr. Harrington, which has lately been published. 
His friends in New York did not conceal the fact that Mr. Blaine 
had advised the defeat of Mr. Folger as a necessary blow at the 
administration. Yet it was not wholly the party treachery of Mr. 
Blaine's friends in New York that caused that colossal majority io 
be rolled up against Mr. Folger. Apathy and personal disappoint- 
ment at the President's course kept thousands of old-time Stiil- 
warts from the polls. The President was at the time inclined to 
think that a proportionately larger number of Stalwarts than of 
Half -Breeds contributed to that defeat. This overpowering blow 
in New York caused the party to give too little heed to the porten- 
tious and abnormal Democratic victory elsewhere throughout the 
Union. Mr. Conkling, however, took in the full significance of it. 

"See," he said, when speaking of it, "how deep the canker of 
apathy and schism has eaten. Too deep. The next administra- 
tion will be Democratic. The defeat is so stunning and startling 
tiiat there may be some reaction, but not enough, not enough." 



100 THE PATE OF THK REPUBLICAN PABTY. 

Bewildered by this defeat, the party in the short session of Con- 
gress that followed devoted itself wholly to business legislation, 
and politics slnmbered. The tariff bill was passed, as a party meas- 
sure, but that was all. The President, by a cautioufi, negative 
policy, was able to prevent any positive and open exhibition of the 
troubles that had by no means been cured. 

Even the most intimate friends of the President had not been 
able to get from him up to the spring of '83 any explicit avowal of 
his desire to be nominated in '84. He was accustomed, when the 
subject was broached, to turn it off with a jest or more curt reply. 
"I have stopped making plans for the future," he said to one of 
his most intimate friends. " I simply let each day bring forth its 
own." So he said to Colonel Quay, the able Pennsylvania politi- 
cian, and the colonel regarded this as good politics. But in the 
spring of 1883 the President determined not to be a candidate for 
the nomination. He was not only annoyed and deeply chagrined 
because of the defeat in New York, but he saw beneath the surface, 
and its dead-calm, deceitful smoothness. He felt the accuracy of 
Mr. Conkling's prophecy, and saw no reason to doubt that it would 
be fulfilled to the end. He also detected in the ominous friendship 
of the star route politicians for Blaine— a sudden zeal on the part 
of some of them for an old opponent — ^party treachery, that affected 
himself or Blaine, whichever should be the nominee. In this opin- 
ion Mr. Blaine shared, for he told his friends to have nothing to do 
with the star route Stalwarts. 

There were other indications that the President had at that time 
given up all thought of going into the canvass of 1884 He began 
to look out for a career after his administration should be finished, 
and to consider several plans for active business in professional 

life. 

The summer and fall of '83 were the stagnation months of the 
four years, and the President saw little reason to think that the 
party would be sufficiently aroused from its apathy. 

The election of Mr. Carlisle as Speaker, and the interpretation 
put on that act by Republicans, acted like a mild tonic on the 
imrty. Before Mr. Carlisle's nomination, Kepublicau members 
came back to Washington bringing with them very gloomy reports. 
The more sanguine of them coiild give little encouragement, while 
almost all represented the condition of the party as bad, if not 



THE FATE OF THE BEPUBLIOAN PARTY. 101 

hopeless. From no part of the country did any promise come. 
Almost all of the Kepublicau members pinned their only hope for 
a victory in 1884 to the slender reed of a possible Democratic 
blunder during the session ; and when Mr. Carlisle was nominated, 
they at once said, " There's the blunder." Mr. Carlisle's views on 
the tariff were sent widespread, and an attempt that came not far 
from being systematic and organized was made to alarm the country 
by asserting that Carlisle's election meant free trade agitation. 
Much of the inspiration for this attempt came from Mr. Blaine. 
The President, too, did not hesitate to attempt to gain party ad- 
vantage from that event. On the night that Mr. Carlisle was nom- 
inated, the President recast that part of his message which related 
to the subject of the reduction of customs duties. Judge Folger, 
in the report that he submitted to the President, had taken very 
nearly the same ground respecting tax reduction that Mr. Carlisle 
stood upon, and, much to his regret, the President requested him 
to modify it. The President himself struck from his message all 
that ho had written on the subject, and the document went to Con- 
gress without special reference to this vital matter. This was done 
by the advice of some of the leading Eepublican congressmen, 
who suggested to the President that, in thi:s matter of free trade 
agitation, the single opportunity for party advantage was to be 
found. The appointment of Mr. Morrison as the Chairman of the 
Ways and Means Committee ; his announcement of his intention 
to bring in a bill reducing customs duties ; his fulfilment of the 
promise ; the long debate ; the antagonisms that arose in the Dem- 
ocratic party in the House because of it, and the final defeat of the 
bill by summary process by a combination of Republicans and a 
minority of the Democrats ; the threats of certain heated Demo- 
crats to transfer the contest to Chicago —all these things did for 
the time seem to justify the Republican leaders in trustinc that 
their embryo bud of hope had blossomed, and that Republican 
success might be possible after all. 

Yet the wisest Republicans were by no means hopeful. Mr. 
Blaine, who was visited almost daily by politicians in reference to 
his nomination, saw more clearly than they the real condition of 
the party, and not until late in the spring was he anxious to be the 
candidate. To those whom he trusted he said he doubted whether 



102 THE FATE OF THJ: KEPUBIilCAX PARTY. 

he could be elected. An offort was made in the winter by Mr. 
Allison, Mr. Hale, Mr, Chatfee, and a few others to bring about a 
reconciliation between Mr. Blaine and Mr. Conkling and Mr. 
Blaine and G-en. Grant. So far as the ex-President was concerned, 
it succeeded, and at a meeting at the Arlington Hotel friendly re- 
lations were initiated. Gen. Grant had, like Conkling, been bit- 
terly disappointed in Arthur's course. But Mr. Conkling refused 
to meet Mr. Blaine, and not because of any personal quarrel, but 
because he believed Mr. Blaine to be untruthful, treacherous, un- 
scrupulous, and dishonest. " That book is sealed forever," said 
Mr. Blaine when told that the effort had met with failure. 

At another time Mr. Blaine said : " I do not care for the nomina- 
tion myself. I only want to live long enough to beat Chester A. 
Arthur." Of course this remark was not long in reaching the 
President, and when he heard it he said, with just a suspicion of 
sarcasm : " "Well, Mr. Blaine having twice had personal experience 
of the disappointments there are in failure to receive the nomina- 
tion, he possibly thinks mine may be as exquisite as his. In that 
he is mistaken. But, in case he is nominated, he may be able to 
round off his career with an additional experience which I shall 
escape. He may be able to add to his other memories that of the 
sensation caused by defeat." This remark, in turn, was carried to 
Mr. Blaine. "It means," said he, " that in case I am nominated 
I shall have not only the Democracy, but the administration to 
fight.'* 

In the latter part of the spring of '84 Mr. Blaine learned that his 
nomination would command a very large support from Irish Demo- 
crats. Some very skilful work had been done in that field, and it 
promised to yield rich harvest. A large preliminary subscription 
fund had been raised, and with this and the anti-British sentiment 
cunningly nursed, it was believed that an offset could be obtained 
against Stalwart treachery in New York. Then Mr. Blaine began 
for the first time to take that personal interest in his own can- 
didacy which his friends had so long desired. 

Mr. Blaine's old-time friends had been largely supplanted by new 
ones. Mr. Elkins. Mr. AVhitelaw Keid, Charles E. Smith, and a lot 
of men of less repute, had taken the places of Chandler, Frye, and 
Hale, and other veterans, while Arthur's canvass was managed by 



THE FATE OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. 108 

such comparatively inferior politicians as Dutcher, Burleigh, Hat- 
ton, and Evans. The few trained observers who were there and 
saw beneath the surface understood that much of the Blaine enthu- 
siasm was specious, superficial, and, as represented by Thomas C, 
Piatt and George C. Gorham, positively suspicious. The presence 
of these two men in Chicago tooting for Blaine was one of the 
many cyclonic exhibitions of the times. 

"While the Blaine enthusiasm was seen to be no such splendid, 
genuine, and contagious outflow of feeling as that which compelled 
admiration in 1880 and 1876, it was still more apparent that there was 
no heart at all in the Arthur canvass. Even his old New York friends 
folded their arms and went through their duties in the most in- 
different and perfunctory wa3\ Besides, the hostility of the two 
factions, or the three, for there was a Stalwart faction opposed to 
both Arthur and Blaine, was dangerously bitter, and it blinded all 
to the patent fact that there was a dangerously large element in the 
party which had not been involved in factional warfare, but which 
would not support Mr. Blaine if he was nominated. 

The Convention, properly analyzed, revealed to more than one 
politician the true condition of the Republican j^arty. There were 
apathies, jealousies, personal and selfish ambitions that would rule 
or ruin, with short-sightedness, and, on the part of a good many, 
an ill-concealed indifference to Democratic success. 

After the Convention had done its work the President was chat- 
ting one evening with some friends. He said that lie believed the 
Convention had made a mistake in not adopting the unit rule, and 
gave his reasons. He intimated, too, that the demoralized condi- 
tion of the party was palpably set forth bj' the refusal to adopt 
that rule, and he did not speak in the most encouraging terms of 
the prospect. 

" Had the unit rule been adopted," said one of the company, 
** New York might have had the nomination and next President." 

The President quickly replied, and with a smile, "Are you so 
sure, then, that New York will not have the next President ?" 

That was all he said, but the unmistakable reference to Cleve- 
land was regarded as indicating that the President entertained no 
great hope for party success. 

From the day of Cleveland's nomination to his election the ad- 
ministration never smiled on the Kepublican canvass. The thou- 



104 THE FATE Ox' THE BKI'UBLICAiV I'AKTY. 

sand and one things that it might properly do were left undone. 
It threw the dead weight of indifference upon the biuden the 
Kepublican committee had to meet. From the open and pro- 
nounced hostility of Frank Hatton to the last feeble flutterings of 
party discipline that led Mr. Chandler to make a speech or two, 
there was nothing but the most chilling blasts of indiflFerence. Mr. 
Chandler refused even in Virginia to give the customary help that 
under his skilful management might have been obtained from the 
Hiivy-yards. Mr. Hatton not only peremptorily declined to make 
use of the Post-Office, but caused the impression to go abroad 
among the employes that it would be just as well for them to be 
passive ; and in a number of cases he deliberatel}' threw away op- 
portunities hy making obnoxious appointments. In every one of 
the Departments the clerks felt that they would incur no displeas- 
ure if they contributed nothing, and though Mr. Clapp, who had 
charge of the business of raising money in Washington, pleaded 
often with the chief for encouragement, he failed to get it, and at 
last came to the conclusion that the administration was wholly 
indifferent. 

Meanwhile there is no doubt that an understanding existed 
among the Stalwarts of the Conkling wing that boded no good to 
the cause. 

Of course the Kepublican committee knew of this, and, though 
it gave Mr. Blaine great uneasiness, he was assured that its effects 
would be more, much more, than offset by the Irish vote and the 
disaffected Democrats who did not follow Butler, and those who did. 

In view of all this, it is not so surprising that Mr. Blaine wa« 
defeated as that he came so close to victory. 

The vote throughout the Northern States verifies to the full Mr. 
Oonkling's prophecy. Defeat was due, as he pointed out three 
years ago, to organic disease. " None but a demoralized party," a 
veteran observer has just said, " v/ould attribute defeat to paltry 
causes. Had the partj' not been moribund the sentence of Burch- 
ard could not have harmed it. It was retribution that, as the 
party was to fail, it should fail under the leadership of the man who 
has so much of responsibility to bear for its disintegration." 

[The above admirable and truthful narrative is from The Sun, 
of New York, a paper that surpasses all its contemporaries as a 
chronicler of important caouIs. | 



CHAPTER XXI. 
'x'HE STAR ROUTE CONSPIRACY. 

THE METHODS OF THE CONSPIEATOKS — THE HIGH OLD TIMES THEY HA» 
DURING THE HIGH JINKS PERIOD. 

In 1876 Tlios. J. Brady came to Washington at the instance and 
on the advico of Senator O. P. Morton, to whom he had been of 
more or less service as a pot-house politician. It is said that 
Morton possessed many attributes of the astute politician, but cer- 
tain it is that he was a poor judge of men. Perhaps no man in 
American politics ever surrounded himself with so many third-rate 
men as Morton. A happy illustration of this observation is to be 
found in the persons of John C. New, ex-Assistant Postmaster- 
General Tyner, Buck Terrell, and scores more of his henchmen of 
minor note. Morton would fix his mind upon making something 
out of a third-rate man, and would at once boost him into high 
position, and hold him there until he had filled his depleted ex- 
chequer. One of the creatures whom he so advanced was that 
sweet-scented adventurer, Thos. J. Brady, better known as the king 
of the star routers. In 1876, when Pratt was Commissioner of 
Internal Revenue, Morton made him appoint Brady to a special 
agency in that bureau, who assigned him to duty in New Orleans. 
Brady was not long in that city before he discovered one John A. 
Walsh, engaged in illicit whiskey distillation. He also obtained 
the evidence to prove that Walsh had robbed the Government out 
of over $100,000. He went before the grand jury and had him in- 
dicted, when Walsh fled to Washington city, where he threw him- 
self under the protecting wings of W. P. Kellogg, then in high 
favor at the Federal court. Of course Walsh was not remanded to 
New Orleans for trial, and that was the last ever heard of the 
Walsh whiskey conspiracy. In 1877, when Hayes, the infamous, 
entered the White House, one of his first acts was to appoint 
Brady Second Assistant Postmaster-General. Brady had scarcely 
become warm in his chair when he gave a contract for carrying the 
mails to this very man Walsh, whom he had previously denounced 
as a whiskey thief. Walsh's contract originally was for a weekly 
service at an annual compensation of $18,000, but in less than 

105 



106 THE STAK ROUTE CONSPIRACY. 

three months Brady came to his relief and expedited it up to a tri- 
weekly service, with a compensation of $136,000. Now Walsh's 
legitimate compensation would have been three times $18,000, or 
$54,000, and thus it will be seen how, with Brady's assistance, he 
made a clour steal of $82,000. This was but a typical case — a 
specimen brick of the manner in which the villanous knaves 
robbed the Government by means of the star route service. In all, 
they pocketed not less than $6,000,000, for which they underwent 
the sham of a so-called trial, from whence they emerged in flying 
colors, with a verdict of "not guilty." During that trial the au- 
thority of the Government was put at defiance, and the mortifying 
spectacle was beheld of the national plunderers wining and dining 
with the prosecuting officers, and generally so demeaning them- 
selves as to create the impression that Brewster & Go. , and not 
Brady «fe Co., were on trial for robbing the Government. 

The drunken orgies of the star route lawyers, Attorney-General 
Brewster, and many other high personages connected with the star 
route trial will long be remembered by Washingtonians. They 
were a blot upon the national escutcheon, and show the great dan- 
ger always inevitable from the entrusting of such vast patronage 
as that which Brady and his pals enjoyed when he was Second 
Assistant Postmaster-General. Not only did Brady & Co. employ 
star service money to debauch juries and corrupt courts, but they 
actually had the temerity to use it in debauching congressmen and 
in controlling national conventions. In June, 1880, Roscoe Conk- 
Ung and a few other Senators of integrity determined to oppose 
the passage of the star service deficiency bill. It had passed the 
House, and when it came before the Senate it was referred to sub- 
committee, of which Senator Wallace, of Pennsylvania, was chair- 
man. For Wallace's kind offices in adopting a report prepared for 
him by A. C. Buell, recommending the passage of the House bill, 
Wallace was paid $15,000, which he said he wanted to keep Sam. 
Randall out of the Cincinnati Convention. But Sam. was equal to 
the emergency, and went to Cincinnati in spite of all opposition, 
where he was a strong Tilden man One of the principal anti- 
Tilden men who figured in the lobby of that convention was a 
California ex-congressman, Brady's chief bugleman. This man had 
disbursed vast sums of star service money, and had debauched 



THE STAR ROUTE CONSPIRACY. 107 

many congressmen and newsjiaper correspondents. Indeed it has 
been openly asserted that he has in his possession a full list of all 
the eminent public men who accepted bribes from him, and it was 
owing to his possession of such infoi-mation that shielded and pro- 
tected him from prosecution during the late star route trials. It 
should be mentioned that the object of the Government in employ- 
ing Kerr and Merrick, both Democrats, to aid in the prosecution 
of the star route thieves was to afford a guarantee to certain Dem- 
ocratic congressmen that their interests in the star route investi- 
gations would not suffer, as those lawyers would see to it that all 
facts calculated to damage them would be suppressed. So well 
was this part of the service performed that not a single expose wa& 
made calculated to implicate leading Democrats, for it seems to 
have been mutually agreed to protect Democrats and Republicans 
alike. Kellogg was made the single exception, and Merrick secured 
his indictment through a spirit of env)^ and revenge, because of 
his (Merrick's) failure to oust Kellogg from the Senate and seat 
the contestant, Spoftbrd, in 1879. Kellogg was doubtless guilty, 
but there were dozens of congressmen equally guilty, and the only 
reason they were not indicted was because they were about equally 
divided between the two political parties. 

Old messengers in the Post- Office Department relate wath gusto 
the hilarious old times Brady & Co. were wont to have during 
the years 1878 and 1879, when they were abstracting lucre from 
the Federal Treasury. Not only did they enjoj^fine dinners, costly 
wines and cigars, but they also had attached to their establishments 
fast liorses and faster women. 

When James became Postmaster-General he discovered that there 
was a gorgeously-furnished room in the northwest portion of the 
Post-OflBce Department building. This room was used by the mem- 
bers of the ring during the day, and was apportioned out by hours. 
Sometimes a mistake was made, and two officials would attempt ta 
enter it at the same hour, when a few oaths would be indulged in, 
but matters would generally assume their equilibrium without more 
damage than a little smoke. It was in this room where the pretty 
" lady" lobbyists usually assembled to get their instructions from 
Brady & Co. It was there they were told just how many blandish, 
raents to bestow on this or that congressman. 



108 THE STAR ROUTE CONSPIRACY. 

A Senator or a member whose vote was indispensable, and whose 
opposition would do harm, would have to be placated at any cost^ 
even if it became necessary for a pretty Treasury girl to carry him 
to Baltimore and insure him a nice time. It would fill a volume of 
larger dimensions than this to recount all the dark and subtle ways 
resorted to by Brady «fe Co. to blind the eyes of Hayes, John Sher- 
man, and the American Congress, and thus permit them to prac- 
tise their filchings from the Treasury. Money, women, and wine 
were the strong levers they employed to pry open the doors of the 
Treasury, and the success which attended their efforts has long 
since become known to every household in the land. Not only did 
they still the voice of opposition in Congress, but they actually en- 
tered the market and bought up every daily newspaper in Wash- 
ington worth buying, except the Evening Star. That paper did 
not sell out, simply because they could not get the price de- 
manded. 

In concluding this chapter, it may not be uninteresting to relate 
the sharp practice resorted to by the aforesaid financial agent to 
pass the star route deficiency bill in June, 1880. A previous effort 
had been made, which failed in the House for the lack of six votes. 
The star service thieves were disconcerted. Every congressman who 
could with safety be approached had been bribed to vote for its pas- 
sage, and still they were just six votes short. The prolific brain 
of Dorsey was equal to the emergency, and he directed his agent 
to resort to the following subterfuge : With the greatest caution he 
approached the respective best friends of Tilden, Bayard, Hen- 
dricks, McDonald, and Pendleton, and promised each of them in 
detail that if they would aid him to get the deficiency bill through 
the House, he would see to it that a goodly portion of the star ser- 
vice money would be used to nominate their respective favorites at 
Cincinnati. It was a trick which would have been creditable to 
the brain of a Philadelphia lawyer, and showed that Dorsey had 
not lost any of his early New England training. When the bill 
came up on its second attempt at passage, it went through the House 
with a rush, so potent was the proffered offer of star service gold. 
When the convention at Cincinnati assembled, Brady's financial 
agent was on hand with $150,000 of star service money, but he 
did not use it in a single instance as promised. To the surprise of 



THE STAR ROUTE CONSPIEAOY. 109 

the old political stagers, he used it lavishly in the interest of Han- 
cock. When the financial agent of the sage of Gramercy Park 
found ont what was on the tapis^ he mourned and refused to be 
comforted. As soon as the seedy, needy delegates ascertained that 
there was money on the groiind other than Tilden's, they threw up 
tJieir hands with joy and hurrahed themselves hoarse for the " su- 
perb soldier." Tilden's friends were indignant, and would have 
created a first-class scandal had not wiser counsels prevailed and 
the matter been hushed up. 

During the campaign of 1880 Dorsey, Brady & Co. furnished 
money to both the Democratic and Republican National Commit- 
tees, so as to have two strings to their bow. Indeed, it has been 
hinted that Garfield was early apprised of their Janus-iQ,c,ed game^ 
which necessitated his inditing that letter to " My Dear Hubbell," 
in which he desired to know '' how Brady & Co. and the Depa/rt- 
nients icere doing; " meaning thereby whether thej- were subscrib- 
ing liberally to the Republican campaign fund. 

But the average reader will tire of reading the particulars of this 
gigantic swindle, which, for boldness of conception and audacity 
of execution, takes rank among the boldest designs to rob the Fed- 
eral Treasury of which the oldest denizens have any record. Al- 
though whitewashed by a Washington jury, the guilt of the stai' 
service crowd will never be doubted by all honest Americans. 



CHAPTER XXII. 
WHITELAW REID IN THE TOILS OF THE LAW. 

HOW HE APPEARED AND ACTED WHEN ABEE8TBD AT THE ARIilNGTOH 
HOTEL ON JANUARY 18tH, 1875. 

It is not generally known, but it is nevertheless true, that Mr. 
Whitelaw Reid, at present the editor of the New York Tribune, 
and then editorially connected with that journal, was indicted by 
the grand jury of the District of Columbia, and subsequently ar- 
rested thereon at the Arlington Hotel, in Washington, by a detective 
of the name of McElfresh. The following is the presentment of 
the grand jury : 

District of Columbia, \ . ., . 
County of Washington, j 

The grand jurors of the United States for the county aforesaid, 
do, upon their oath, present Whitelaw Reid for libel against or 
upon Alexander R. Shej)herd, to wit: "If justice in the District 
were not a mockery and law a nullity, the vice-president of the 
Board of Public Works, who, while extricating himself from finan- 
cial difficulties, has brought bankruptcy upon the District, would 
be promptly arrested and punished for his crimes instead of being 
allowed to visit Vienna on a pleasure excursion," the said libel be- 
ing published in form of a newspaper article, on or about the 17th 
day of April, A. D. 1873, on evidence of A. R. Shepherd. 

W. M. GALT, Foreman. 

Mr. Reid and his friends were especially anxious to suppress the 
matter, the particulars of which are here for the first time given. 

At that time A. R. Shepherd and the alleged District of Columbia 
ring were holding high carnival, and were so profligate in expendi- 
tures of district moneys as to induce Mr. Reid to assail them in his 
newspaper. Mr. Shepherd had a friend on the grand jury of the 
name of Gait, the foreman thereof, who had enjoyed many lucra- 
tive flour contracts, and he experienced no difficulty in securing 
Reid's indictment. At that time Judge Fisher was the nominal 
head of the District Attorney's office, but the actual spirit of the 
movement against Reid was Harrington, of safe-burglary notoriety. 
Although Reid was indicted on the 17th of April, 1873, he was not 
arrested until the 18th of January, 1875. The indictment had been 



WHITEIiAW REID IN THK TOILS OP THE LAW. Ill 

most secretly obtained, and Shepherd & Co. quietly bided their 
time until such occasion as Reid would make his appearance at 
Washington. At the above time he came on to Washington to at- 
tend a swell ball, and occupied the most elegant suite of rooms at 
the Arlington. The notorious Harrington soon became acquainted 
with the fact of Raid's arrival, and at 8 o'clock P. M. he ordered 
McElfresh to accompany him around to that hotel. The former 
stationed himself in a passage near enough to hear all that passed, 
while the latter, armed with Judge Snell's warrant, * ' gently tapped' * 
at Reid's ''chamber door." "Who is there," demanded Reid. 
" Open the door," replied McElfresh, " I am an officer of the Metro- 
politan police, and have a warrant for your arrest." " You are mis- 
taken in the man," said Reid, " My name is Philips, and I am from 
Kansas. I have never been here before, and I am sure I have in- 
fracted none of your laws, and you must be looking for some one 
else." 

McElfresh. '* I know you, sir, to be Whitelaw Reid, and I hope 
you will not parley further, but come out and quietly submit to 
arrest, and thus save me from the unpleasant duty of employing 
force." 

When Reid found that he could not escape by any subterfuge, 
he walked out of his room. He was neatly attired in full evening 
dress, wore the regulation dress coat and white kids. "What an 
outrage !" he exclaimed. " To think that a gentleman cannot visit 
the nation's capital on business or for pleasure without being mo- 
lested by plebians after the manner of Shepherd." Turning to 
Harrington, he added: "Can't you excuse me until to-morrow, 
and allow me to attend the ball at Mr. Blaine's to-night ? I will 
put up any amount of collateral you require, and will appear be- 
fore the police court to-morrow." 

But Harrington was inexorable, and insisted that McElfresh take 
his prisoner to jail. Meanwhile some one standing near got wind 
of the affair and lost no time in sending for a lawyer, and in also 
informing W. W. Corcoran and S. H. Kaufmann, who hurried to 
Judge Snell's residence, signed their names to Reid's appearance 
bond, and kept him from spending a night in jail, thus permitting 
him to attend the swell party at Mr. Blaine's. 



112 WHITEIiAW KEID IN THE TOILS OF THE LAW. 

THE OONSPIBAOY AGAINST HON. O. A. DANA. 

Between 1870 and 1872 Hon. Charles A. Dana proved a thorn in 
the flanks of the corrupt District of Columbia ring. Wielding a 
scathing pen, he soon drove the corruptionists of Washington to 
bay. That was in the " era of good stealing," when the South 
was at the mercy of the carpet-baggers, and the good denizens of 
Washington were faring almost as bad. Sargeant's House com- 
jiiittee was investigating the District "ring," and Mr. Dana had 
been summoned to Washington to testify regarding certain charges 
made in The Sun. Shepherd & Co. felicitated themselves with the 
thought that as Dana was in Washington they could humiliate him 
by securing his arrest before his departure. At this juncture Col. 
W. P. Wood, one of the most remarkable men of his times, deter- 
mined to thwart the consj^irators and protect Mr. Dana during his 
sojourn in the Federal city. I will remark here that while Wood 
has for years boldly assailed all classes of " crooked" characters, 
from the petty adventurer to the libidinous congressman, who des- 
pise but fear him, yet such is his exalted character and high integ- 
rity that none of them have ever attempted to retaliate upon him 
through the press or otherwise. He appears to know the antece- 
dents of all public men. He certainly was familiar with those of 
Robeson, Williams, and Boutwell. Therefore, as soon as those 
officials found out that Wood was championing Dana's cause, they 
abandoned the idea of arresting the great editor, at least until 
Wood could be gotten out of the city. 

The next step was to get Wood away. To that end they em- 
ployed the services of one General Krzyzanowski, an acquaintance 
of Wood's in whom Wood took some interest. Krzyzanowski had 
been collector at Savannah, Georgia, whose maladministration had 
not only caused his dismissal from the service, but had caused cer- 
tain Treasury officials to insist upon the retention of his salary, 
and its being covered into the Treasury. To save his family from 
financial ruin, and as a further inducement to get Wood out of 
Washington, Krzyzanowski promised to make a complete exposure 
of carpet-bag rascalities in that State, with which he was familiar. 
Being cognizant of Wood's antipathy to the carpet-bag confra- 
ternity, he employed this ruse to get him away, and succeeded. 
Before Wood left, however, he called on Attorney-General Lan- 



WHITELAW BEID IN THE TOILS OP THE LAW. 113 

daulet Williams and Secretary Botitwell to know if the offences of 
Krzyzanowski would be condoned, and all moneys claimed by him 
for salary, <fec., would be paid him, provided he furnished the evi- 
dence against his thieving contemporaries. They also assured 
Wood in the most positive terms that no detriment should occur to 
Mr. Dana during his (Wood's) absence. 

With that explicit understanding, Wood and the Pole left for 
Georgia. One J. O. M., acting in the interest of the White House 
ring, lost no time in causing Mr. Dana to be apprised of Wood's 
departure. Whereupon Mr. Dana became alarmed, and hurriedly 
departed for New York. Meanwhile the Metropolitan police detec- 
tives telegraphed to confederates in Philadelphia, who arrested 
him as he passed through that city, as prearranged by Shepherd, 
Robeson & Co. When Wood returned he insisted that Boutwell 
and Williams act in good faith and carry out the agreement en- 
tered into with Krzyzanowski. At first they demurred, as the case 
against the Pole was a strong one, but Wood badgered them into 
acquiescence, and Krzyzanowski not only got all he claimed 
against the Government, but has since been permitted to hold a 
most lucrative special agency under the Treasury Department, 
with headquarters at Aspinwall. Wood was a great admirer of 
Mr. Dana, and his indignation knew no bounds when he discovered 
the ruse by which he had been sent to Georgia, and he determined 
to retaliate. The effective manner in which he exposed the Shep- 
herd-Harrington-Robeson safe burglary conspiracy, driving the 
participants out of ofl&ce and into disgrace, and the vigor with 
which he has pursued those who engineered the conspiracy against 
Mr. Dana, show that he deserves the appellation of " terror to evil- 
doers." I must not omit to add that the carpet-bag knaves in 
Georgia who were exposed by Krzyzanowski, which exposure was 
the basis upon which immunity and pardon were granted Krzyz- 
anowski by Boutwell and Williams, have been fished up by Arthur 
from the caves of obscurity, and are once more saddled upon the 
Treasury of the United States. But they carried out their part of 
the bargain entered into with Frank Hatton and Chandler, and 
voted for Arthur at Chicago. It will devolve upon Mr. Cleveland 
to see to it that these men do not fleece the Government in 1885 
as they arc alleged by Krzyzanowski to have done in 1871, 1872, 
1873, and 1874. 



114 WHITELAW EEID IN THE TOILS OF THE LAW. 

Such was the conspiracy against Mr. Dana — a public man who 
served the nation faithfully in war, and whose pen has since done 
more to give the American people good government than all other 
agencies combined. 

HOW THE SUN GOT POSSESSION OF THE CBEDIT MOBILIEB PAPEBS. 

The narrative of the manner in which Mr. Dana, of The Sun, got 
possession of the Credit Mobilier correspondence is simple, and it 
is here given to the public for the first time. Col. W. P. Wood 
was waited upon one evening by an elegantly-dressed matron from 
Philadelphia, the wife of one of the foremost men in the Repub- 
lican party of the Keystone State at that time. She appeared 
highly indignant, and her large eyes flashed almost as continuously 
as did the diamonds that sparkled on her breast. She was accom- 
panied by her coachman, and in the most matter-of-fact way in- 
formed Wood that she had been subjected to munerous indignities 
by the wives of certain rival society magnates, and that she had 
determined to throw a shell into their midst that would utterlj"^ de- 
molish all of their ambitions for the future. In short, she stated 
that she could possess herself of all the Credit Mobilier correspon- 
dence, which she was willing to deliver to Wood during the next 
forty-eight hours, to be by him handed to Dr. Greeley, of the New 
York Tribune, for publication in that paper. Wood promised to 
faithfully carry out her wishes, and she bowed herself out of the 
presence of the great detective. 

That night at 10 o'clock Wood left for New York. The next 
morning he appeared before Mr. Greeley and stated that he pro- 
posed to turn the correspondence over to him the next night. Mr. 
Greeley, then suffering from the buzz of the Presidential bee, was 
in great delight, and rolled the foxih.QOva.ing exposes as he would a 
sweet morsel, &c. Generous to a fault, he told Wood that he would 
hand him $1,000 as soon as the papers were placed in his hands. 
Wood returned to Philadelphia as per appointment wdth the afore- 
said distinguished matron, when he met her and received the whole 
batch of evidence which was destined to wreck so many reputations 
and bring disgrace to the thresholds of numerous " Christian 
statesmen." Wood returned to New York and called at Dr. Gree- 
ley's office, but he had left the city on urgent business. He then 



WHITELAW EEID IN THE TOILS OF THE LAW. 115 

called on Whitelaw Reid, offered him the papers, and deiiiAuded the 
$1,000 offered for them by Greeley. But Reid, characteristic of his 
genus, began to parley as to the genuineness of the correspondence. 
Wood quietly put the papers into his pocket and took them to Mr. 
Dana, who gladly enough published them in The Sun. "When Dr. 
Greeley returned and learned how Reid had neglected to take in so 
good a thing in the journalistic way, he became indignant, and 
knowing ones declare that for months Reid was on the *' ragged 
edge " of despair, not knowing how soon he would be dismissed from 
the paper. It was in this way that the Credit Mohilier conspiracy 
was laid bare, and the nation's councils relieved of the presence 
of the most corrupt set of men, who did all in their power to drag 
a great party down to despair and defeat 



CHAPTER XXIII. 
THE QUINTESCENCE OF MACHINE POLITICS. 

ONE OF THE METHODS RESORTED TO BY PRESIDENT GARFIELD TO SECURE 
THE CONFIRMATION OF JIM BLAINE's FRIEND ROBERTSON AS COL- 
LECTOR OF CUSTOMS AT NEW YORK — JOBBERY IN HIGH PLACES, ETC. 

If laymen knew the dickerings and traffickings that go ou be- 
tween men holding high places, they would indeed be surprised. 
Unfortunately, the public never place the correct estimate upon 
their exalted servants. Take the case of Garfield, for instance. In 
the estimation of the public, he is regarded as a saint, a noble- 
minded patriot, whose every aspiration soared heavenward. In the 
estimation of many Washington people, who knew his habits and 
antecedents, he was not only regarded as not being the least bit of 
a *' Joseph," but was reckoned as a politician always ready for a 
trade, regardless of the means employed to accomplish the desired 
ends. 

When Garfield's premier, Blaine, resolved to make his war on 
Conkling, and thus retaliate on that gentleman, one of his first ar- 
bitrary acts was to appoint Robertson collector of customs at New 
York. Garfield and Blaine had " sounded " the Senators, and knew 
just how many Democratic votes they had to obtain to secure his 
confirmation. The votes of such Senators as the Camerons, Gen- 
eral Logan, and others, were deemed uncertain quantities in the pend- 
ing emergency, and it became necessary for them to dicker with the 
opposition. One of the Democratic Senators whom Garfield cap- 
tured with patronage was Senator Brown, of Georgia. That gen- 
tleman was not only anxious to add fuel to the flames of Republi- 
can discontent, but he also desired to control a little patronage. 
Among other appointments conferred upon his friends was the fol- 
lowing : Brown brought on to Washington a young, red-eyed 
'* Sheeney ," whom we will call Byers. This fellow is a native of Au- 
gusta, Georgia, where his forefathers were engaged in the " cloth- 
ing " business. At first Brown concluded to make him his private 
secretary, but a trial of a few weeks convinced him that he was 
better fitted to run a pool-table, or act as bottle-washer in a bar- 

ii6 



THE QUINTESCENCB OF MACHINE POLITICS. 117 

room, provided the liquors were kept beyond his reach. So when 
Garfield offered Brown, in consideration of his vote for Robertson, 
''anything he wanted," the Georgia Senator at once bethought him 
of Byers, and secured an order on Secretary Windom for his rp- 
pointment to a first-class clerkship in the Treasury Department. 
This "Sheeney" might have been seen any day about the lobby 
of Willard's Hotel, and rarely, if ever, went near the Treasury De- 
partment save on pay-days. He was known as one of the ' * uptown 
rowdies," and, to sum him up, he was a disgrace to the service. 
And this incompetent and disreputable fellow was permitted to 
draw $1,200 annually from the Federal Treasury simply because 
he was a protege of a United States Senator, whose vote was needed 
by Arthur & Co. Arthur's administration could not rely on the 
support of such Senators as Logan, Hill, and others, and so it was 
driven to the disgraceful necessity of trafficking with the opposi- 
tion. Perhaps the true history of the methods resorted to by Gar- 
field and Blaine in their war upon Roscoe Conkling will never be 
known, because it is to the interest of the living to suppress the 
details, but enough is known to warrant the opinion that, had 
wiser counsels prevailed in Republican circles, the crazy-brained 
Guiteau would not have stepped to the front, filling the land with 
mourning and regret. 

In speaking of Guiteau I should not omit to refer to the won- 
derful accuracy of all of his prophecies. During his trial the 
lunatic distinctly told Corkhill that he would soon be dismissed 
from office by Arthur. Turning to one of the Government coun- 
sel for the prosecution, he railed out : "I tell you, sir, that in less 
than a twelve-month such will be your remorse of conscience that 
you will almost daily be seen staggering in the streets of Wash- 
ington." He told the jury that if they convicted " God's man " 
disaster and death would overtake them. He also prophesied that 
Judge Cox would invite Divine wrath because of his unjust rulings. 
Every one of these prophecies were fulfilled. Corkhill, or Cork- 
head, more appropriately speaking, was incontinently "bounced" 
by Arthur, and was recently placed in jeopardy at Willard's Hotel 
by an ex-army officer. Such have been his strides in the direction 
of Salt river that there are now none ready to sing his praises. 
Three of the jury are confined in lunatic asylums, and two others 



118 THE QUINTESOENCE OF MACHINE POLITICS. 

have failed in business. One of the Government counsel is often 
seen reeling on the streets from the effects of whiskey, and it haa 
not been six months since a hotel belonging to Judge Cox, in con- 
sequence of the grossest indifference and neglect, fell to the ground, 
killing several obscure people. I must not omit to add that the 
judge, jury, and lawyers all knew that Guiteau was a lunatic. But 
the whole power of Arthur and his friends was employed in the 
effort to establish a contrary decision, because they feared that if 
Guiteau was judged an insane person it would have been charged 
that the conduct of Conkling, Arthur, and Gorham so preyed upon 
his distorted intellect as to induce him to "remove" Garfield. 
There are thousands of intelligent people in the country who be- 
lieve that John Wilkes Booth still lives, and is the El Mahdi, or 
the False Prophet of the Soudan, and an equally large number 
believe that Guiteau was a lunatic, whose proper place was in an 
asylum and not in the clutches of Crocker's hangman. But I have 
digressed. The machine politicians about Washington have been 
a disgrace to the country. Claiming for themselves extraordinary 
prerogatives, they infested the White House and the Departments. 
While a gentleman of character would have to dance attendance in 
an ante-room, your machine politician, having a carte blanche, would 
walk right in and demand and receive what he desired. And such 
a scurvy set of fellows they were, too. The morally halt, lame, 
and blind congregated from the four sections, flocked about the 
Washington Departments, and deported themselves in a manner 
calculated to create the impression that they regarded a day of 
reckoning as being very far off. Like the true bird of prey, their 
olfactories could scent a job however well concealed. The ability 
of these fellows to compromise the Ottman case, and thus rob the 
Government out of twenty or thirty thousand dollars, shows how 
adept they are in such questionable methods. The men who en- 
gineered this swindle were George Bliss and a political cadmer of 
New York, named Crowley. 

I don't think I would be in error were I to state that not a single 
purchase or contract has been made or entered into within the 
past fifteen years or longer that was not predicated upon fraud. 
The old device in George B. McCartee's time of '* water-proofing" 
the Federal currency, whereby over ^100,000 were abstracted from 



THE QUINTESCENCE OF MACHINE POLITICS. 119 

the Treasury, was a specimen brick of that class of jobs. The so- 
called water-proofing process was a swindle, and money could not 
have been more dishonestly taken from the Treasury had its coflfei-s 
been assailed by professional burglars. In the purchase of sites 
for public buildings there has always been the lowest species of 
jobbery. The location of the bureau of engraving and printing 
was selected because it was the desire of a villanous ring to en- 
hance the value of property in that portion of South Washington. 
For sanitary reasons and for security against thieves no more unfa- 
vorable locality in Washington could have been selected. Twenty- 
five or thirty armed burglars could expeditiously raid that caravan- 
sary and bear off millions of dollars of securities. It has also been 
charged that the bill for the construction of the new money order 
office was lobbied through Congress by a man who was thus favored 
because of his supposed influence with certain Southern Senators. 

Indeed, I do not know of but one Department of the Govern- 
ment that has been honestly and efficiently administered, and that 
is the Government Printing Office. This happy exception is owing 
to the fact that the Public Printer, Mr. Rounds, is in no sense a 
politician, but a business man of sterling integrity. I have heard 
members of Congress complain that they could not get Rounds to 
give their henchmen places, while he would charitably afford em- 
ployment to the poor who had no congressmen to endorse their ap- 
plications. 

If Mr. Rounds would dismiss a few of the so-called *' bosses" 
under him, who make their employes do their private work, he 
would reform the only abuse which is alleged to prevail at his 
establishment. In all other respects the Government Printing 
Office is a model of accuracy, economy, and industry, I know it 
will be charged that I have shown up these abuses because I was 
not given a share in the above-enumerated *' steal." Such accusa- 
tions will be false, and will be so known to the creatures who make 
them. I will pay $100 to any man who will confront me and even 
charge that I ever solicited a "divy" in any contract or job, or 
ever attempted in any way to influence legislation in Washington. 
As a matter of fact, I have too little respect for thieves to mingle 
with them, and the only reason why they have not long since been 
pilloried in the public press, through the agency of my pen, was 



120 THE QUINTESOENOE OP MACHINE POLITICS. 

because I knew that such abuses could not be remedied as long as 
the stream was corrupt at the source from whence power emi- 
nated — the White House. 

In concluding this chapter I shall refer to 

THE AGRICULTURAL DEPARTMENT, 

from whence the worthless seeds and bulbs are disseminated. 
Like most of the public employments, it is predicated upon job- 
bery. Through a knavish set of so-called special agents its pur- 
chases of seeds, &c., are made. It was openly charged in a lead- 
ing Washington paper a few years ago that the tomato seeds sent 
out from that unsavory establishment were obtained from a to- 
mato canning establishment near Baltimore, while the pumpkin 
seeds were brought from a pumpkin-pie factory near Boston. 
Certain it is that all the pumpkin and tomato seeds sent out within 
the past three years were worthless for germinating purposes. 
The country has not forgotten how the fellow LeDuc spent ten 
thousand dollars per annum in a futile effort to locate a tea farm 
near Charleston, S. C. This farm was established in the midst of 
a pine barren too unprolific to grow even wire grass. 

A few sickly tea plants are all that remain to show LeDuc's folly 
in attempting to make the tea plant grow in the South. With a 
great flourish of trumpets this creature made a tour of inspection 
of his " tea grove " in 1879, and so great a curiosity was he regarded 
that the natives turned out in large numbers to gaze upon the 
amount of asininity embodied in his make-up. A citizen of Sum- 
merville, S. C, in the vicinity of this specimen of LeDuc's folly, 
relates with great gusto how one of the old aristocracy complained 
that the tea farm was inaccessible because of the presence of an 
impassible fish pond. 

" I shall build an iron bridge over the pond," exclaimed LeDuc, 
to the astonishment of his rural listeners, who at once commenced 
to calculate how much good such an expenditure would do in their 
midst if devoted to the purchase of such commonplace articles as 
corn and bacon. 

Usually from December until May two or three hundred men and 
young girls are crowded into little rooms, where their employment 
consists in tying up and addressing packages of worthless seeds. 



THE QUINTESCENCE OF MACHINE POLITICS. 121 

Biit, true to the reigning and all-potent idea of " influence," no one 
can gain admission to the rolls unless backed up by one or more 
congressmen. Many men and women, too notorious to be em- 
ployed in the Departments, are here saddled upon the Treasury, 
and receive in salaries and for labor, hundreds of thousands of 
dollars a year. Take this establishment all in all, it is a national 
nuisance of such herculean dimensions as to call loudly for abate- 
ment. One dozen industrious men superintended by a competent 
head could easily perform all the work now being indifferently 
done by scores of idle retainers and hangers-on, if not worse, of 
congressmen and Cabinet officers. 

To that end, Carman, the chief clerk, should be granted a per- 
petual leave of absence, as he will prove a barrier to any attempt 
to reorganize the establishment upon business principles. The 
time has at last arrived when lascivious officials will no longer be 
permitted to saddle their mistresses upon the Government. Such 
men should be required to put their hands into their pockets and 
support their favorites, which is far more manly and honorable 
than the system so long in vogue under the Radical regime. This 
agricultural excrescence smells to high heaven, and is a nuisance 
which honesty and decency demand should be very soon abated. 



CHAPTER XXIV. 
SHERMAN'S METHODS IN 1880. 

HOW HE VAINLY ENDEAYOBED TO USE HIS OFFICE AS SECBETABY OF THE 
TKEASUEY TO BOOST HIMSELF INTO THE PEESIDENCY — HIS BUREAU 
CHIEFS HIS ALLEGED SUPPLE TOOLS TO PAY THE EXPENSES OF HIS 
CANVASS FEOM THE NATIONAL COFFEES. 

In January, 1876, John Sherman wrote a letter to a friend in 
Ohio, in which he suggested the name of R. B. Hayes as an availa- 
ble man for the Republican nomination for the Presidency. That 
was the first time that the colossal " Fraud's" name was ever men- 
tioned in connection with that high office. When the Republican 
Convention assembled in the following July the opponents of 
Blaine all united, and the "Ohio deacon" bore off the palm. 
Hayes was regarded as a third-rate man in his native State. No 
one ever accused him of possessing ability, and he did not possess 
the merit of being considered even a clever country lawyer. The 
country knows how he was elevated to the highest office in the 
gift of the people by means of perjury and fraudulent returning 
boards, supplemented by the efforts of such men as Mad. Wells, 
Anderson, and the notorious Eliza Pinkton. It was natural that 
so small a man as Hayes should have organized his Cabinet of ma- 
terial in which the alleged knave and fool would predominate. 
Among the alleged knaves may be mentioned John Sherman, and 
Key furnished " fool" enough for a dozen Cabinets. 

Hayes' administration was scarcely under way before several 
members of his Cabinet began aspiring for the Presidential succes- 
sion. His Secretary of War, McCreary, became the victim of a 
number of small and scurvy politicians, who puffed the little fel- 
low up with the idea that the " lightning" would strike him, and 
during the whole of the winter of 1878-79 his office was filled 
with second-rate Radical politicians, who drank his liquor and 
swore that he was the greatest man in the Hayes Cabinet. This 
happy state of affairs was brought to a close when it was found that 
his principal political striker, an unsavory Oregon politician, was 
selling appointments in the War Department. It was with great 



Sherman's methods in 1880. 123 

effort that McCreary suppressed the scandal, but uot uutil the par- 
ticulars had been published in the Baltimore Gazette and other 
papers by that honest, able, and courageous journalist, Samuel P. 
Butler. So thoroughly disgusted did McCreary become that he re- 
tired from the Cabinet, leaving the field to the unscrupulous Sher- 
man. 

In this connection it may be in order to relate an episode that 
occurred in 1879. In the early part of that year Judge Kenneth 
Eayner, decidedly the ablest member of the Hayes regirne, pre- 
pared an elaborate article for the North American Review in de- 
fence of the administration. The article was a masterpiece of 
composition, as might have been expected from the pen of its dis- 
tinguished author. Judge Rayner showed the article to Hayes and 
each of the Cabinet, all of whom were delighted with it, with the 
exception of Evarts, who complainingly stated that it made John 
Sherman the greatest man in the Cabinet. From that hour there 
was a split in the Hayes household. The quarrel waxed warm, the 
result being thjit Judge Rayner was requested to suppress his 
article, which he readily did, as he had no respect whatever for 
Hayes or his Cabinet, and only wrote the article to curry a little 
favor with them, and thus prevent the rascally Treasury ring from 
securing his dismissal. As a matter of fact, Judge Rayner told me 
that Sherman begged him to write the article, urging that it be 
made strong enough to aid his Presidential aspirations. 

In January, 1880, Sherman entered the field in earnest as a can- 
didate. The various collectors of customs and of the internal 
revenue were impressed into his service. His agents swarmed 
through the South, and worked up the Sherman ''boom" with a 
vim. Money from the Federal Treasury was freely used to bolster 
up his pretensions. The notorious Lamphere, chief of the ap- 
pointment division, was especially busy in Sherman's behalf. It 
was during that time that Lamphere considered himself so solid 
with Sherman that he published the famous or infamous " Lam- 
phere Book " — a production that enjoyed the sole distinction of 
emanating from the brains of an hundred different people. Lam- 
phere issued an order requiring the chief clerks of the various 
bureaus under the Government to fvirnish him a history of their 
respective offices. He bundled them together and made the book. 



124 shebman's methods in 1880. 

which he sold through truculent Federal officers, notably at the 
South. But to recur to Sherman's agents. 

The expenses of these men were paid in various ways, the most 
conspicuous being through the office of Henry C. Johnson, the 
figure-head commissioner of customs. In that bureau there is an 
appropriation clause known as " The Expense of Collecting the 
Revenue from Customs." It was and still is an omnibus arrange- 
ment quite broad enough to cover many spacious expenditures. 
Nobody knows this better than Deputy Lockwood, because he 
could always "scent" a fraudulent account, which he would re- 
fuse to approve, throwing the responsibility on the aforementioned 
figure-head. 

The vouchers for these various accounts are in the possession of 
the disbursing clerks, and should at once be brought to the notice 
of the grand jury. "When they are brought to light the country 
will then know who among the Treasury clerks were improvised to 
aid Sherman, and how they fared sumptuously every day at the 
expense of the Treasury while working up his boom. It will also 
learn whether they were legally or fraudulently paid for such ser- 
vice. The alleged frauds were perpetrated in about this wise : 
When a clerk was wanted for special Sherman work in a particular 
State he was at once assigned by Lamphere to Commissioner H. C. 
Johnson's office, who would order him away to the field of his 
political labors. At the end of each month these clerks would 
present vouchers for their railroad and hotel bills, which Johnson 
would approve. These vouchers amounted to never less than 
$200 per month, which, added to their salaries, furnished quite a 
handsome sum. Under the rule of the Treasury, a clerk on special 
detail is allowed $1.00 each for his meals. An economical fellow 
would breakfast, dine, and sup at 25-cent establishments, and charge 
up the full amount against the Government, the difference they 
would pocket being a clear steal. It is safe to assert that there are 
at least a hundred such accounts in the Treasury, and they cannot 
be investigated a minute too soon. When this investigation is had 
several bureau chiefs will come to grief. At least four of them 
will be found to have been steeped to their eyelids in villanous 
practices, so freely resorted to to make the Federal Treasury pay 
the expenses of John Sherman's Presidential ambitions. 



shekman's methods in 1880. 125 

The country is somewhat familiar with Pitney's peculations ; it 
has heard how Sherman's headquarters in the Corcoran building 
was supplied with paper, furniture, pictures, &c., all of which , 
were paid for on false vouchers as boxes of candles, barrels of bay 
rum, &c., but it will be astounded when all the facts are brought 
out and the calcium light of investigation is thrown upon those 
disreputable bureau chiefs who were willing to risk the peniten- 
tiary in their zeal to serve their master, John Sherman. 

But after all of Sherman's dishonest efforts he failed to have 
even a respectable following at the Chicago Convention. The class 
of black and tan Southern carpet-baggers and scalawags that he 
depended upon deserted his fortunes after spending his money. 
They rode to Chicago in his drawing-room cars, drank his liquors, 
and smoked his cigars ; but when Don Cameron and Wm. E. 
Chandler came to the frout with the Grant and Blaine corrup- 
tion funds, poor Sherman's following disappeared like snow before 
a July sun. 

To show how infinitesimally small a man Sherman is, I will re- 
late the following circumstance : In the spring of 1880 Reuben S. 
Smith, a Florida politician, was a clerk in the 2nd auditor's ofl&ce. 
Sherman heard that he possessed influence with the negroes at 
home and sent him to that State to try and have himself elected a 
delegate to the National Convention. Smith succeeded and re- 
turned to Washington with his credentials. Sherman was exceed- 
ing glad, and permitted Smith to put his legs under his mahogany. 
He moreover gave Smith a check on Riggs & Co., of Washington, 
for the pitiful sum of $100. Smith had spent perhaps three times 
that sum in his election as a delegate, but the close-fisted Sherman 
would only reimburse him to the extent of one-third of the amount. 
But that is not all. Sherman actually made Smith return the $100 
check after the convention adjourned. The way that happened 
was this : Smith had the check in his pocket and carelessly left it 
among some papers on a table at the Palmer House in Chicago. 
Some scurvy politician got possession of it and tarried not until he 
had placed it in the possession of Dr. W. W. Hicks, a Florida car- 
pet-bagger. Hicks hied him to a photographer, had five hundred 
copies of it made, when he approached Smith and commanded 
him to vote for Grant on every ballot, threatening to distribute 



126 Sherman's methods in 1880. 

them in the convention if Smith refused to do so. Smith con- 
cluded to do as commanded, thus saving Sherman from the threat- 
ened exposure of his $100 check. On Smith's return to Washing- 
ton Sherman waxed wroth and demanded the return of the check. 
This Dr. Hicks is now a pulpit orator in Washington, but poor 
Smith will never cease to denounce him for the manner in which 
he made him lose his $100 check. Is there another man in the 
United States mean enough to take a $100 check back from a darkey 
under such circumstances ? It is the duty of Congress to open up 
this entire matter, to the end that the country may know all of the 
particulars of the raid upon the Federal Treasury in the interest 
of Sherman's candidacy for the Presidential nomination in 1880. 

I cannot better close this chapter than by relating the following 
anecdote on the aforesaid figure-head. Commissioner H. C. John- 
son : This old pub. func. was sailing between Scylla and Charybdis 
during Sherman's candidacy. As the pliant tool of Don Cameron, 
he was in reality for Grant, but, holding office under Sherman, he 
had to pretend to be a warm supporter of that individual. How 
often Johnson must have exclaimed, '•'■ How happy Vd he with either 
were V other dear cliarmer away ! " On one side of him was Cameron, 
demanding his support of Grant, while Sherman, his immediate 
" boss," expected his support. The result was that Johnson, day 
after day, used his clerks to distribute Sherman literature and litho- 
graphic likenesses of him through the mails, and on many occa- 
sions approved expense vouchers of Treasury clerks who had been 
doing Sherman's political work, while in reality he was a strong 
Grant man. It is a standing joke with the clerks in Johnson's 
office that the trials and tribulations of that short but spirited can- 
vass so preyed upon the old fossil's mind that he must have lost 
fifty pounds of flesh ; and they assert that had the excitement 
lasted six months longer he would have become as spare as a fence- 
rail. The office of the commissioner of customs is a veritable Au- 
gean stable, and many of the present occupants should be remanded 
to the shades of obscurity. Deputy Lockwood claims that he is a 
necessity, but it will be demonstrated in less than six months that 
his dismissal will not clog the wheels of the Government. 

Let me offer the administration the following piece of advice : 
There are scores of officials who, like Lockwood, regard themselves 



Sherman's methods in 1880. 127 

as necessities to the Government. The names of all such self- 
opinionated characters should be collected and their dismissal ac- 
complished at one fell swoop. If the death or absconding of any 
one of them is to clog the wheels of Government, the better plan 
would be to dispense with their united services at once, and thus 
avert the menacing danger to the Republic from having such a 
valuable set of officers on its rolls. Surely these men do not 
hope to spend a lifetime at the Federal trough. H. A. Lockwood, 
for instance, entered the Treasury Department twentj'-eight years 
ago. He is reputed to be rich, and a regard for the decencies and 
amenities of life should prompt him to give way to some less for- 
tunate brother, who may be allowed a chance to lay up something 
for a rainy day. Moreover, Lockwood always freely contributed 
to the Republican campaign committees, and he should not demur 
if the Secretary of the Treasury determined that such action is a 
violation of both the letter and the spirit of the civil service law. 



CHAPTER XXV. 
THE BOGUS WEIL CLAIM. 

A PARTIALLY SUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT BY ADVENTURERS TO ROB THE 
MEXICAN GOVERNMENT OF A LARGE AMOUNT OF MONEY. 

In one of his philippics, delivered in the United States Senate, 
Charles Sumner uttered the following trite sentence : 

"Next to an outright mercenary, commend me to a lawyer to 
betray a great cause " 

The great orator must have had the average Washington lawyer 
in his mind's eye when he gave utterance to that eloquent sentence. 
It may not be generally known, but it is nevertheless true, that 
Washington city possesses more knavish lawyers than the entire 
country can produce. They naturally gather at the National Cap- 
ital, because of the fine chances for making money easily through 
the facilities afforded by raids on the Federal Treasury. As a rule 
these lawyers were failures in their respective States, or, detected 
in sharp and unprofessional practices, they found themselves ta- 
booed in society, and so located at Washington, thus swelling the 
number who must necessarily draw their sustenance directly or 
indirectly from the nation's strong-box. 

The average Washington lawyer, like his prototype in the States, 
has a keen eye for business. He is ignorant of professional ethics, 
and will devour one of his kind as readily as he would a layman. 
Like the soaring eagle, he perches himself on a high eminence and 
scoops down upon any one who attempts to bear off a prize. Is a 
large claim about to be paid from the Treasury ? Then our lawyer 
instantly applies for a restraining injunction, and blocks the 
lucky (?) claimant's efforts until he agrees to a fair "divy." He 
has in his employ a certain class of unprincipled creatures who dub 
themselves "detectives." These vermin are employed to furnish 
evidence in divorce cases, to train witnesses, etc. A first-class 
Washington lawyer is supplied with from one to a half dozen of 
these villanous appendages, and many have been the reputations 
that they have ruined. As a rule, the less equity there is in a claim 
against the Government the greater the certainty of its being 
allowed, provided the amount be large enough to "go all around." 



THE BOGUS WEIL. CLAIM. 129 

A claim for a small amount, no matter how just it may be, is 
doomed to be pigeon-holed, and sleep the sleep that knows no 
waking. One of the most unblushing attempts to rob a govern- 
ment on friendly relations wdth the United Stntes was that con- 
cocted by a set of Washington lawyers, whose knavery as displayed 
in its management is proof conclusive that their proper places 
would be as gazers through iron bars. The case alluded to is that 
of Weil versus Mexico. This man Weil was an adventurous Texan, 
who claimed that in 1864 a marauding band of Mexican soldiers, 
commanded by General Cortinas, took away from him by force of 
arms one hundred wagon-loads of cotton. He claimed that each 
wagon contained eight bales of cotton, and was drawn by four 
mules, worth $200 each. The wagons were valued at $300 each, 
making a grand total of $260,000, for cotton, wagons, and mule<=!. 
Weil was an ignorant fellow, but he was prepossessing in appear- 
ance, and experienced no difficulty in retaining lawyerr, in New 
Orleans and Washington city to prosecute his fraudulent demands 
against the effete Mexicans. Under a treaty stipulation this claim 
was referred to a board of arbitration, of which Sir Edward Thorn- 
ton, late minister pleuiijotentiary from England to the United 
States, was a member. One of Weil's lawyers was Judge Key, of 
Georgetown, D. C. 

In due time the case was presented on its merits for the consid- 
eration of the high board of arbitration. Dozens of affidavits 
were presented, showing Ihat Weil lost the cotton, wagons, and 
mules as alleged in his declaration. Of course the claim was seem- 
ingly so thoroughly established that the board awarded Weil the 
$260,000 which he demanded. About two weeks after the award 
was made four men appeared one day before Sir Edward and in- 
formed him that they were the affiants in the Weil claim case, and 
furthermore that their affidavits were false and fraudulent. They 
stated that they had never been in Texas, but were from New York, 
where Weil had found them, proffering to pay them $1,000 each if 
they would agree to bolster up his fraudulent claim, which they 
stated he had failed to do. Sir Edward lost no time in taking the 
four men before Mr. Evarts, then Secretary of State, who required 
them to make counter-affidavits setting forth the manner in which 
they had been connected with the case. Mr. Evarts thereupon 
refused to pay over to the claimant's lawyers the first instalment 



130 THE BOGUS WELL CLAIM. 

of the award, amounting to $60,000, He felicitated himself upon 
the thought that he would be able to baffle the cousi^irators and 
thus prevent the poor Mexicans from being robbed of the !^260,000. 
Senor Romero, the Mexican Minister at Washington, lost no time 
in imparting the good news to the home government. But the 
wily lawyers in the case set themselves industriously to work to 
capture, at least, the first award of $60,000. To that end they 
retained the services of an ex-governor of Ohio who possessed 
great influence over President Hayes. In 1878, during a junket- 
ing tour of Secretary Evarts, this ex-governor journeyed all the 
way to Fremont, Ohio, where Hayes was also resting from his 
arduous labors. He induced Hayes to direct Hay, the Acting Sec- 
retary of State, to pay the award of $60,000, then due on the 
bogus Weil claim, which was promptly done. The lawyers in the 
case gobbled up the entire amount, not giving a dollar to Weil's 
widow, then and now in great poverty. On the return of Mr. 
Evarts to Washington he was astounded when informed of what 
had been done. Of course he could say nothing, as the act was 
performed on the written authority of the President. 

An attempt was made to suppress the matter and keep the dis- 
gusting details out of the press, but a portion of the facts leaked 
out and appeared in the Washington Post in March, 1881. There 
was no excuse for this blunder on the part of Hayes. He had no 
right to order a payment made in the State Department, or any 
other branch of the Government, during the absence therefrom of 
the Secretary. This, like a great many other infractions of hon- 
esty, has been overlooked. It would have resialted in a congres- 
sional investigation at the time, but Hayes had all of the Demo- 
cratic Senators and members bought up with Federal patronage, 
and of course the Republicans were not anxious to stir up a scandal 
to injure their own party. 

As a matter of equity the United States should return to the 
Mexican Government the $60,000 which Hayes so irregularly or- 
dered Hay to pay over to the fraudulent claimants. 

Considering the worthlessness of the claim, the plausible manner in 
which it was bolstered up by manufactured affidavits,and the fact that 
the President of the United States was a party to the transaction, 
makes the noted case of Weil vs. Mexico one of the most barefaced 
swindles ever put through the State Department at Washington. 



CHAPTER XXVI. 
" TO THE VICTORS BELONG THE SPOILS." 

THE CLASS OF MEN WHO ABE TBYING TO CONTKOL THE POLICY OF THE 
DEMOCRATIC PARTY. 

It is manifest that tlie "Mugwump" confraternity are making 
herculean efforts to control the Democratic party, and run it 
henceforth in the particular groove designated by them. These 
fellows are destined to make the Democratic leaders glad twice— 
when they entered the party and when they take themselves out 
of it. They are a canting, hypocritical set, as destitute of com- 
mon sense as they are of character. They belong to the old crew 
who railed out against the South, and did all they could to degrade 
her. True, they did not possess the necessary courage to risk 
their lives on the battle-field, but they cowered afar off, and by pen 
and speech incited the rabble to lay waste her fair fields. They 
affect to be great friends of the colored race, but no one has 
ever yet heard of any substantial aid they ever gave that people. 
They remind one of the priest in the fable who administered a 
blessing, but refused a half penny. Foremost among this crew are 
Carl Schurz, Geo. Wm. Curtis, and " Chet." Arthur. True, Arthur 
was not always regarded as a civil service reformer ; for I have an 
indistinct recollection how Hayes and John Sherman, aided by 
one Robinson, assistant solicitor of the Treasury, incontinently 
" bounced " him from the New York custom-house because of his 
dishonest methods of administration of that responsible trust. In 
speaking of Arthur to a crowd of politicians at the Palmer House 
in Chicago during the late Republican Convention, Geo. C. Gor- 
ham remarked sarcastically that he " had no respect for a reformed 
prostitute." He might have made the same remark in relation to 
Schurz and Curtis, for the latter was always able to take care of 
his henchmen in fat Federal offices in New York, while the former 
even went so far as to i^lace twenty-five appointments in the In- 
terior Department at the disposal and control of a well-known 
Democratic newspaper editor and proprietor, who unblushingly 
sold them for a monthly stipend of $15 each. I mention these de- 

131 



182 "to the victors belong the spoils," 

tails merely to show the character and antecedents of the ' ' Mug- 
wump " crew who arrogate unto themselves the high privilege of 
shaping the policy of Mr. Cleveland's administration. Under the 
guise of *' reform " they insist that a horde of civil ofl&cers be re- 
tained in their positions, for no reason on earth save that they are 
now in office. These " Mugwumps " even have the ''cheek" to 
compare the Government clerks to the employes of railroad and 
telegraphic companies, and they argue that it would be as reason- 
able for a changed management of such corporations to turn out 
old and tried employes as it would be for a new administration to 
apply a bran-new broom to the Government Departments and thcdr 
dependencies throughout the country. 

The cases are not analogous in any sense. The railroad em- 
ployes and telegraphic operators, as a rule, are worked very hard — 
from twelve to fifteen hours a day — receiving about one-half the 
compensation given Government employe's. In no sense are their 
positions regarded as sinecures. On the other hand, the thousands 
of fat offices dispensed by the Government are sinecures, many of 
the men who fill them not earning one-tenth of their salaries. It 
is safe to assert that not over one-half of the Government clerks 
earn their salaries. Hundreds of them are terrorized over by cor- 
rupt and tyrannical chiefs of divisions, and made to do more than 
their share of the work, while the favored class, those who have 
strong backing, neglect their work, and are rarely seen at their 
desks. This is the case with both males and females. Hundreds 
of women go to their desks at 10 o'clock, read the morning papers 
until 11, go to their lunch at 12, and retire to their homes at 1 P. M. 
Their ** influence" is strong, and they snap their fingers in the 
faces of those who criticise their conduct. I once knew a woman 
clerk in the War Department who threatened to send an old colonel, 
the chief of her division, out to the plains if he did not stop repri- 
manding her for going to her work so late in the mornings. The 
rum-nosed old warrior lost no time in reporting the giddy creature 
to Eamsay, then Secretary of War. " What did she say?" asked 
Kamsay. " Why, she said that she would have me ordered out to 
the plains," replied the colonel. " Well, I guess you had better 
not molest her further, or she may proceed to execute her threat,'* 
rejoined Ramsay. Are clerks of this class, and the generally well 



"to the victors belong the spoils." 133 

fed and clad "pets " and " strikers" of Republican Senators and 
members, to be likened to the over-worked employes of railroad 
and telegraph companies ? Verily, Schurz, Cxirtis & Co. should 
wear veils when they appear upon the streets, lest a gullible public 
see their smiles of contempt for the credulity of those simpletons 
who take stock in their absurd pretensions. 

Again, the civil service system actually places a premium upon 
political " sneaks." Those clerks and employes who refused to 
aid their party, who retired into holes without having the man- 
hood to work for the party which gave them offices, are to be re- 
tained at the Federal feed-trough, while those who exerted their 
prerogatives as American citizens, and who dared to live up to their 
convictions, are to be cut off without remedy. As a matter of fact 
both classes should be made to vacate, especially those who have 
been longer than eight years in position. In that length of time 
any provident man or woman could have saved up money enough 
to embark in private business, and because they did not do so, and 
are as poor now as when they first took hold of the Federal teat, is 
nobody's fault but their own. Mr. Cleveland will have to elect 
between the " Mugwump " and the Democratic leaders. He will 
not be permitted to run with the " hare " and the " hounds." He 
must either repudiate the Schurz-Curtis crew, or be eventuallj^ 
stranded by them on the rock of failure and defeat. What will 
it profit if he retain the sympathy of the "Mugwump" crowd if 
he lose the support of the " Solid South ? " 

Moreover, it will be impossible for the changed administration 
to institute reform with all the machinery of the Government in 
the hands of Republicans. It must be recollected that the chiefs 
of divisions, auditors, commissioners, &c., are in fact naught but 
"figure-heads." A high public officer, however honest and well- 
meaning, has to look to the clerks under him to do his work, and 
he cannot be held responsible for its faithful performance unless 
those who are to do it are in sympathy with the party in power. 
In the interest of true reform it would be far better for Congress 
to vote the old Republican office-holders a gratuity of $2,000 each^ 
giving to them an indefinite leave of absence, and place in their 
stead a new force, who alone will be equal to the emergency of 
purifying the public service. To protect the dishonest practices 



134 ''to the victoks belong tee spoils.' 

hitherto in vogue, by keeping in oflice a class of men. many of 
whom are personally interested in cloaking up the fraudulent sys- 
tem of book-keeping long practised in all of the Departments, 
will be to make true Democracy a by-word and a reproach, and to 
invite overwhelming Democratic disaster in 1888. 

If Mr. Cleveland was not elected to reform abuses, if he was not 
elected to overhaul the dubious system of book-keeping in vogue 
in all the Departments, and if he was not elected to generally 
purify the public service, I would be glad to learn from some 
" Mugwump " what he really was elected for. 

The American people certainly would have preferred Mr. Blaine, 
as a medium for keeping in office the Republican incumbents, to 
Mr. Cleveland. 



CHAPTER XXVII. 
JOURNALISTIC JOBBERS. 

THE CHARAOTEBISTICS OF SOME OF THE MEN WHO BEPBESENT METBO- 
POLITAN JOURNALS. 

Perhaps the most unscrupulous and unprincipled set of men at 
the National Capital are the "specialists" of so-called leading 
newspapers. As a rule these men accept their journalistic trusts 
because of the fine facilities they present for bleeding corporations 
and getting money easily from divers lobbying schemes. There 
are about a dozen of these journalistic sharpers in Washington, 
who are as fine specimens of the genus whited sepulchre as the na- 
tion affords. 

I cannot better portray these fellows than to liken them to the 
proud bird of liberty that perches itself on a high eminence, and 
as the unsuspecting fish-hawk passes with its prey it scoops down 
upon it and boldly carries off the prize. The average journalistic 
bird of prey is thoroughly adept in the fine art of knowing a good 
thing when he sees it. He watches the proceedings of Congress 
with interest, and whenever he snuffs a job in the congressional 
air he ambles to the front, demanding that he be given a share in 
the " steal." One of these fellows, who represents nominally a 
leading Northern newspaper, always keeps a list of members and 
Senators, and just before a vote is reached on a doubtful measure 
he appears before the claimant and demands $300 or more for each 
vote that is given for it. Perhaps he never said a word to a mem- 
ber about the bill, but if it runs the gauntlet he expects compen- 
sation all the same, and generally gets it. He is a bold operator, 
or, as some people would call him, a blackmailer, but he has made 
money, and can well afford to ignore the snubs of his less lucky 
rivals. The experience of Col. N. W. Fitzgerald with men of this 
class is fresh in the public memory. 

When the proceedings against Fitzgerald were first instituted in 
the newspapers and the courts, I seriously advised him to divide 
out $20,000 among the journalistic and judicial knaves at Wash- 
ington. He declined to heed my advice, and as a result they broke 

135 



136 JOUBNALISTIC JOBBERS. 

up his large pension business, thus damaging him to the extent of 
a quarter of a million of dollars. 

He freely confesses now that he committed a blunder in not 
throwing a few bones to the carrion crows of the press. Here was 
a man who had gotten through hundreds of thousands of pension 
claims, thus carrying sunshine and happiness to many hearthstones, 
who was systematically despoiled simply because he would not 
give up a portion of his earnings. When the cases against him 
were called for trial, so convinced was the court that Fitzgerald 
was the victim of a conspiracy, and that he had done no wrong, 
that he ordered a nolle prosequi entered as to all of them, to the 
evident regret of the superficial Corkhead. 

Another well-known newspaper man about the Capital is a fel- 
low who, as a clerk in the Treasury Department, engineered and 
passed through that unsavory establishment a fraudulent claim. 
His portion of the " boodle " enabled him to make a lucky invest- 
ment which has since paid him a hundred-fold. Two swell jour- 
nalists, more remarkable for brass than brains, who sail through our 
planet over the names of Ramsdell and White, were made famous 
in one night by being locked up in the congressional crypt as re- 
calcitrant witnesses. Another Washington swell of the quill is a 
fellow as ignorant as an Illinois mule, whose literary effusions are 
written by his energetic wife. 

About a decade ago the old Washington Chronicle fell into the 
hands of a set of characterless and brainless " Christian states- 
men," who, having lost their hold upon the Federal teat, bethought 
them that they might pocket some of the " swag" as full-fledged 
journalists. The venture soon came to grief, leaving scores of 
printers and reporters who even unto this day refuse to be com- 
forted; because of their inability to recover their wages and sal- 
aries. If I mistake not, the aforesaid Corkhead was at one time the 
managing editor of the concern. An old printer, who then worked 
on the Chronicle, told me that while he was unable to get pay for 
his nightly work the editors were regularly drawing salaries rang 
ing from $4,000 to $10,000. The brightest and most conscientious 
journalist at Washington during the Grant regime was Col. Ed. P. 
Brooks, now of Peoria, Ills. Brooks was not popular with his un- 
scrupulous contemporaries, who soon exerted sufficient influence 



.TOniiNVLISTIC JOBBERS. 



\M 



to have a man of the name of Soteldo substituted for hhn. In 
1875 Rolliu H. Kirk, a member of the South Carolina bar, lo- 
cated in Washington. ' He soon began to dabble in journalism, and 
woTild have attained prominence in the profession had he not in- 
curred the enmity of the aforesaid journalistic foot-pads. Such 
was the hostility that the old ringsters evinced toward him that 
they meanly deprived him of a seat in the reporters' gallery of the 
House. He finally secured a clerkship in one of the Departments, 
where he spent the major portion of his time in attacking the 
frauds of high and low degree by whom he was surrounded, es- 
pecially those connected with the press. 

Many a thorn has he thrust into their flanks, they not knowing 
who dealt the blow, so cautious was he lest they use their influence 
with creatures like Upton, Lamphere, and Hawley, late Treasury 
officials, to secure his dismissal. Kirk used to openly boast that 
he could any day set the journalistic blackmailers to reviling each 
other, by the publication of a paragraph or two in one of the 
Washington dailies. He was manifestly a stirrer up of strife and 
discord, seemingly greatly amused at the rantings of his victims. 
He lost a fortune by the late war, and openly boasted that the sal- 
ary paid him by the Government was justly due him, being only a 
moiety of what he had been so unnaturally despoiled. But of all 
the nauseating, disgusting characters about Washington, commend 
me to the shallow-pated sycophants who ' * write up " the society 
columns for the Washington papers. In return for a dinner, or 
even a glass of poor whiskey, these " society writers " will make 
mention of the lowest men and women. One fellow invariably 
prefaces his Sunday morning effusions with laudatory allusions to 
**the President." Every Sunday morning for the past year I have 
watched and prayed for the announcement that this fellow had 
been sent by Arthur to a "warm climate," as a reward for his 
nauseating labors. Perhaps Arthur's stomach was not equal to the 
emergency of swallowing all the idiocy that he read about himself. 
A White House attache recently confessed to me that Arthur has 
far more respect for a bold, defiant newspaper like the Washington 
Gazette than he cherishes for namby-pamby papers like the Bc- 
publican and the Capital. About four years ago George Alfro«l 
Townsend paid Washington a mysterious and secret visit. Ho bod 



13H JOUKNALISTIO JOBBERS. 

a scheme on foot, which was no more nor less than the establish- 
ment of a newspaper to be started and supported by Department 
clerks. Through his agents he endeavored to impress the Depart- 
ment people how immeasurably improved woxild be their condition, 
how much better they would be treated by snobbish bureau chiefs 
and arrogant appointment clerks, did they but have a newspaper 
of their own, through which they could strike back. After weeks 
of diligent canvassing only $10,000 was subscribed, just the amount 
of George Alfred's salary. Of course the enterprise was abolished. 

The man Butler, a reputed New York hotel clerk, late appoint- 
ment officer under Judge Folger, sent for the aforesaid RoUin H. 
Kirk one day in 1881. Word had gone to Folger that a man 
named Bissell had written a scathing attack upon him. Butler 
was especially anxious to save his master, and hence his request 
that Kirk would obtain a copy of the article in question for the 
Secretary's perusal. Kirk, by a liberal expenditure of money, pos- 
sessed himself of the article and delivered it to Butler, who in the 
most servile manner handed it to Folger. As is characteristic of 
the New York Yankee, Butler rewarded Kirk by greatly wronging 
him in less than two weeks. One of the few decent acts performed 
by Arthur was when with his stiff Executive boot he lifted this fel- 
low, Butler, into the shades of private life. 

The advance orders for large numbers of this volume will neces- 
sitate the publication of a second and larger edition within the 
next thirty days, when I shall more explicitly dwell upon the moral 
and intellectual delinquencies of the whited sej)ulchre8 of the 
Washington press. The theme is a prolific one, and I shall be 
equal to the emergency of exposing the scamps in all their naked 
deformity to the gaze of the American people. 



CHAPTER XXVIII. 

SOCIAL AND POLITICAL LIFE IN WASHINGTON. 

Washington as designed by nature and improved by art is doubt- 
less the most beautiful city in this country, if not in the world. 
Its magnificent public buildings, embellished by all of the arts 
known to our civilization ; its elegant private residences ; its broad 
avenues and beautiful parks filled with rare trees ; its clean con- 
crete streets, shaded in summer by long lines of beautiful shade 
trees ; its extensive libraries, equalled by none others in the world, 
and free to the public ; its works of art, beautiful drives and his- 
toric reminiscences ; its salubrious climate and general attractive- 
ness, all combine to render it a desirable residence for persons of 
leisure. When we add to this its attractions as a social and 
political centre, the capital of a country containing 52,000,000 of 
people, with our extensive foreign relations with the countries of 
the Old World and the New, whose ministers and legations reside 
in our world-renowned city, we explain the reason why capital and 
genius are centering there, and so many magnificent houses being 
builded along her beautiful thoroughfares. 

It is eminently and necessarily a metropolitan city so far as 
social and political life are concerned, and the fact that it is 
neither manufacturing nor commercial renders it both more dis- 
tinctive and more desirable as a residence for those who seek en- 
joyment or diversion only, as well as for those who seek to mingle 
in the party or general politics of the country. 

Here gather in winter the leading men and women of every State in 
the Union, in their various capacities of Government officers or legis- 
lators for the country, with their wives and daughters, together with 
lobbyists, capitalists, foreigners — persons who want office, and those 
who want legislation, it may chance, in the interest of an industry or 
a scheme, or perhaps of a railroad monopoly ; the old soldier, for a 
pension ; and the antiquated backwoodsman or woman with a claim 
against the Government, which he or she fondly hopes and expects 
will be paid on presentation, without realizing that the whole air 
of Washington and the pigeon-holes of the file-rooms of both 
Houses are pregnant with rejected claims and blasted hopes ; that 

139 



140 SOCIAL AND POLITICAL LIFE IN WASHINGTON. 

the just and the unjust, the worthy and the unworthy, a^-e buried 
in the same grave ; that delays and postponements and hopes de- 
ferred have led, like an ignis fatuus, hundreds of applicants to an 
untimely grave — have led to penury and want, and dethroned the 
reason of many an honest man and woman who could readily have 
earned a competency and acquired happiness at home had they 
thrown the claim to the dogs and set about earning a livelihood 
instead of throwing good money after bad. But the infatuation, 
determination, and persistency of these claimants, to whom just 
enough of hope is held out to lead them on, is only paralleled by 
the love of the gambler for the gaming table. The very few who 
succeed tend to work up to a wild frenzy those who do not, and 
to incite in them a greater determination to persist in their efforts, 
and they hang around the lobbies of the Capitol and at the doors 
of committee rooms, many of them, with as little idea of the course 
of legislation as they have of the revolution of the planets in their 
orbits ; they believe that they have the right to demand the time 
and attention of their congressman, and come to feel after a time 
that the Capitol belongs to them. Thus it sometimes happens that, 
for each consecutive session for ten years, one sees the faces of the 
same claimants, after a time haggard and worn, and threadbare, but 
still pursuing the same thought and feeding upon the same hope — 
the Government claim. 

The busiest, the keenest, and not the least among the vast throng 
who gather at Washington in winter is the journalist, the inevita- 
ble and ever-present newspaper men. With an entree everywhere, 
a passe-pa/rtout, no place is sacred from him. He jots down the 
words as they fall from the lips of congressmen, on bills important 
and unimportant, placing special emphasis upon any disagreement 
between members of the House and Senate, and adding to it a little 
spice of his own, while busy transcribers are writing out for the 
associated press, and sending over the magic telegraph wires, 
not only the business transacted by both Houses, but the important 
business transacted in committee rooms, which are really the work- 
shops — the cook-shops, so to speak— where all important legislation 
is engendered, compounded, pruned, and fitted for the action of 
the two great bodies who prepare and shape and enact the legisla- 
tion of the country— too often, alas! with party zeal, for personal 



SOCIAL AND POLITICAL. LIFE IN WASHINGTON. 141 

emolument, or selfish ends, or to secure a re-election, rather than 
for the best good of the people, whose servants they are, and whose 
money pays their salary. 

These busy, nimble fingers not only keep the balance of the 
world posted upon what Congress is doing, but write up the recep- 
tions of the President and Cabinet officers, the Speaker of the 
House and President of the Senate, the State dinners, and the 
toilets of the fair ladies who grace these occasions, as well as those 
of other distinguished ladies who grace "Washington with their 
presence in winter during the gay season, and lend the charm of 
their sprightliness and wit to the good cheer. The dresses for 
these occasions are often matters of great concern to the fair 
wearers, costing weeks of time and small fortunes in the way of 
money in the manufacture, besides any amount of study for the 
effect. All of this the reporter is expected minutely to record, with 
correct names of material, style of lace, plaiting, jewels, or other 
ornament ; and, unless error shall be made in the details, the fair 
wearer herself usually writes out the description in advance, and 
hands it to the reporter to be chronicled in the morning paper or 
telegraphed abroad. The struggle for ascendancy by the talented 
statesmen of the Senate and the House, or the effort to see who shall 
lead, is hardly greater, or shrewder tactics or nicer diplomacy en- 
tered into, than takes place among the ladies of Washington in 
winter for social supremacy and the desire to be first. 

The telephones are kept busy with communications, orders, and 
requests to the several Departments of the Government, while the 
post-offices and telegraphs are loaded with messages, which keep 
up the connection and inter-relation between the congressmen and 
their several constituencies, to say nothing of cart-loads of Agri- 
cultural, Patent Office, Land Office, and other reports, which 
neither the congressman himself or his constituency ever read, but 
which are sent nevertheless with the same exactness and precision, 
as tokens of remembrance, each believing that the other has read 
the book, and for the purpose of the congressman holding on to 
his constituency, with a view to further emoluments or another 
election. 

In the corridors of the Capitol and in the lobbies, from the open- 
ing to the closing of the sessions of Congress, a countless horde of 



142 SOCIAL AND POLITICAL LIFE IN WASHINGTON. 

persons surge to and fro, composed of every class, every caste, 
every phase of society, from the millionaire, who has come to show 
off the seal-skin sacques and the diamonds of his wife and daugh- 
ters, to the unpensioned one-legged soldier and the poor woman in 
search of a claim. 

But not the last or the least of the crowd are the ofl&ce-seekers. 
They come from every point of the compass under the sun, and for 
every variety of place, from that of Minister to Russia or the Court 
of St. James to the petty post-office of their town, or even a postal 
clerkship, and who are so persistent and imperative in their de- 
mands that a blank refusal does not damp their ardor. They fasten 
on to their respective congressmen like so many leeches ; tell him 
what they did during the canvass to compass his election, and 
insist and persist that he shall demand a place for them. They 
belong to a class who will not take "no" for an answer, and are 
often bullying, insulting, and fulsome of threats for the " next 
election." The congressman is in a dilemma. In order to get 
elected he has promised every jDrospective place within his gift or 
influence in his district, and it is more than likely that they will all 
come down on him at once, demand the place, and take no denial. 
Perhaps he has no place to give or influence to get one. His meas- 
ure is soon taken by those who wish to use him for the purpose of 
securing positions, and sometimes the situation gets so warm for 
him that he is not at home to callers, or leaves the city for a week. 
Thus the congressmiin's bed, which is usually supposed to be very 
desirable and very soft, is often full of thorns. Nor does his trouble 
cease with this class of applicants for place. There comes from 
his district a horde of women, young, talented, and handsome, or, 
it may chance, old, wrinkled, and sour — and it is difficult to tell 
which is most to be dreaded — who also want place. Their fortunes 
are desperate, their wants imminent, and their demands persistent. 
Something must be done, and that quickly. The youngest, hand 
Bomest, and most impudent usually gets a place, and the others 
wait on. 

The lobbyist comes to stay until his bill is passed, if it takes all 
winter, and usually it does, and if he is a toney chap, means busi- 
ness, and is in the pay of a moneyed corporation, as often happens, 



SOCIAL AND POLITICAL LIFE IN WASHINGTON. 143 

he comes with his pockets well lined, and after his bill is intro- 
duced and referred he gives a dinner to the committee. Thus by 
degrees he ingratiates himself into favor, takes the status of the 
men with whom he has to deal, learns their bearings and predilec- 
tions, and if he is shrewd, as he ought to be, will very soon be 
able to tell just how much it will take to buy the committee. He 
is now ready to report to headquarters. 

But, alas, for the poor man or woman who has neither money, 
tact, or influence, no matter how just or plain his bill. The winter 
drags on without action, or if his bill is calendared it is never 
reached, and the springtime finds him still watching and waiting, 
but poorer in hope and purse. The first few weeks of the session 
Congress is flooded with bills for every conceivable thing under the 
sun, not the half of which ever again see the light. About one- 
half of the balance are pigeon-holed before the session is over, and 
a feeble minority of the whole number, or perhaps one-fifth" thereof; 
successfully run the gauntlet of the Holmans and the Randalls. 

But the Washington society people often tire of the gaieties of 
life, and find a little time to devote to charitable purposes. Occa- 
sionally they get up grand charity balls, the preparation for which 
costs vast sums of money for costumes, &c. It is not uncommon for 
the "Washington swells to expend, say, f 10,000 dollars in ball-room 
paraphernalia to be exhibited and worn at a charity ball, when the 
proceeds of the entertainment will not reach f 100. If there was a 
particle of sincerity in their efforts to help the poor, in whose be- 
half these balls are given, the money foolishly expended in giving 
them would be donated, and not the pitiful little contributions 
usually made, before they retire to their hoAies. 

" DOTS " FKOM A REPORTER'S NOTE-BOOK. 

There is a quaint old French saying that a patient should always 
keep on good terms with his physician. With far more propriety 
should the average Washington society woman maintain friendly 
relations with her newspaper reporter. Perhaps in no city of the 
universe do the society people evince a greater amount of " cheek " 
in their efforts to have themselves conspicuously ' * written up " in 
the local papers than they do in Washington. 



144 SOCIAL AND POIilTICAT^ LIFE IN WASHINGTON. 

On extraordinary occasions, as for instance an inaugural ball, 
.even the correspondents of the Washington, Chicago, and Phila- 
delphia papers are besieged by stately dames and fair belles until 
they promise to minutely describe the costly toilettes in which they 
appear. It matters not how pater familias made his money, 
whether in army contracts or in congressional jobs, the female 
members of his family, destitute of a becoming amount of decency, 
boldly push themselves to the front, and rest not until they see 
.their names and a description of their costumes appear in print. Dur- 
ing the lonely summer months the average Washington reporter re- 
clines on an humble cot in an attic, picking up a morsel here and there 
at cheap eating-houses. But his spirits never forsake him, because 
he knows that when winter comes he will fare sumptuously every 
day, or rather every night, when his high-toned "society" lady 
friends will slip him in at the back door and permit him to regale 
himself upon such delicacies as were left by the servants. If he 
happens to be "hard up," as is the rule rather than the exception, 
he does not hesitate to ask for the " loan " of $20 or $30, which he 
always gets. But the sensible Washington reporter never attempts 
to print his description of the costumes worn at balls and parties 
without first submitting it to the perusal of his patrons. Indeed 
it is common for society ladies, who possess the ability, to write 
out just what they want to see in print. 

One fashionable dame, living in the West end, even goes so far 
as to have her articles printed, and furnishes printed " slips" to 
the diflferent reporters and correspondents. It has not been three 
years since a reporter made a fatal blunder in his " society chat." 
The descriptive artioles of the costumes of a fashionable house- 
hold were handed to him at a late hour. In his hurry to get his 
*' copy" into the hands of the printers, he carelessly changed the 
captions. Judge of the surprise of that household, when, on the 
, next morning, they discovered that a charming belle of eighteen 
was represented as having appeared in the costume worn by 
" mamma," while mater faynilias was described as having been 
most bewitching in her daughter's lastest accession from Worth. But 
with all his tribulations and trials the Washington reporter is a 
good-enough fellow in his way. He is considerate for the short- 
comings of those in whose employ he practically is — the society 



SOCIAL AND POLITICAL LIFE IN WASHINGTON. 145 

s-wells. If one of them gets drunk enough at a banquet to go to 
sleep on a lounge, not only is no mention made of the fact in the 
next morning's paper, but to his surprise he reads a beautiful post- 
prandial effort which is attributed to him, but which in reality 
emanattd from the reporter's prolific pen. 

In 1875 I was directed by Col. E. P. Brooks, then managing 
editor of the National Eepublican, to report the proceedings of the 
Congressional Temperance Association, at Dr. Chichester's church, 
on Capitol Hill. On my arrival I found about two hundred ladies 
and children, with perhaps twenty men, present. There was but 
one congressman present, and he was to be the orator of the erenr 
ing. "Is this the Congressional Temperance Association about 
which I have heard so much?" I inquired of the usher. " Yes, sir," 
he replied ; "we never have but one congressman at our meetings. 
This evening Senator Ferry lectures, and at our next meeting we 
will have some other statesman to help on the good cause." I re- 
sided in "Washington for nearly two years before I discovered that 
the Congressional Temperance Association was a " howling " fraud, 
and that at least one of the " Christian statesmen" who gave that 
body "monthly talks" was notorious for his fondness of the wine- 
cup. In speaking of newspaper men I must not neglect to relate^ 
a "good thing" gotten off by Mr. Blaine the other day. Whil^x 
taking his daily walk in Lafayette Square he encountered the 
eloquent and accomplished Judge Thomas J. Mackey. After ex- 
changing the compliments of the day Judge Mackey said: " I see 
that the alliterative R. R. R. Burchard, a man of seventy-five, has 
just married a damsel of eighteen. I wonder who gave the bride 
a/way in such an incongruous match?" "Who gave her away," 
significantly answered Blaine; "I should think that Burchard 
.himself might have given her awap,'' he added, as he hurried on 
in the direction of his mansion. 

While leisurely strolling along Pennsylvania avenue the other 
day I encountered a venerable "Jehu," who had often "wheeled" 
me on my mission of newsgathering. In response to my inquiry, 
he stated that since the escapade of the daughter of Jay Gould's 
broker, in New York, with the dashing young coachman, business 
in his line was improving. " To tell you the truth, sir," he added, 
"we 'night liners' who are getting along in years began to feel 



146 SOCIAI. AND POLITICAL LIFE IN WASHINGTON. 

very uncomfortable in regard to the future. We were being sadly 
neglected. If a cab was needed the one driven by a young fellow 
who sported a nice ' Newmarket ' was always selected, leaving us 
older ones to regret that we were not as young as we used to be. 
But when Schelling ran off with the millionaire's daughter things 
began to brighten up at once. At present the good-looking young 
coachmen are not in demand ; especially those that look like dudes 
and wear fashionable clothes. You see those old ladies who have 
marriageable daughters are afraid to trust them lest thej'^ play 
' smashes ' with the young girls' hearts. Yes, sir, they are quitting 
the cab business — those young men are — and unless luck changes 
soon I will be able to finish paying for my horses, when I hope to 
be able to buy a carriage that will ' knock the spots ' out of any 
thing that now runs on our streets." 

THE CONSPIRACY AGAINST N. W. FITZGERALD AND OTHER PROMINENT 
PENSION AND CLAIM ATTORNEYS. 

It is a little singular, but nevertheless true, that not until Dudley 
became Commissioner of Pensions was any attempt made to disbai" 
the most resjjectable attorneys engaged in practice before the Pen- 
sion Office. I shall state the facts in the case, leaving the public 
to draw its own inference. The notorious Dudley had not long 
been at the head of the Pension Office when he became very inti- 
mate vvdth a fastidious pension attorney of the euphonious name 
of George E. Lemon. This Mr. Lemon had made a " good thing " 
out of " the dear soldiers," and was reputed to be rich. Now, Mr. 
Dudley, as is common with mankind, had an eye to the "main 
chance ;" and it was not many weeks before the employes in the 
Pension Office discovered that the best way for them to please 
their master, Dudley, was by making all of Lemon's cases "spe- 
cial," and by hurrying them through as expeditiously as possible. 

Dudley's pretext for this expedition in Lemon's cases was that 
the most of his business was from Indiana, and as he was from that 
State he would help his fellow-citizens there by getting their claims 
allowed as soon as possible. Not only did Dudley do all he could 
to further the interests of his friend Lemon in the Pension Office, 
but he also sent for one Corkhead, the pompous district attorney 
before described, and persuaded him to institute vigorous legal 



SOCIAIi AND POLITIC Ali LITE IN WASHINGTON, 14T 

proceedings against Fitzgerald and others. I will not sa^' whether 
or not Lemon was often closeted with Dudley and Corkhead about 
that time. Suffice it to say Corkhead carried out his instructions 
faithfully, and Fitzgerald's business was destroyed. Meanwhile 
Corkhead's term of office was about to expire, when Fitzgerald vis- 
ited Philadelphia for the purpose of invoking the aid of a friend 
of Attorney-General Brewster to prevent his reappointment. On 
Fitzgerald's arrival in the city of " Brotherly Love " he found the 
Attorney-General's friend absent down in Florida. He took the first 
train for the " Land of Flowers," and in due time found the '' mu- 
tual friend," who telegraphed Brewster not to reappoint Corkhead. 
Mr. Brewster thereupon recommended the appointment of the pres- 
ent incumbent, Worthington. I mention this detail to let Corkhead 
know how it happened that he was so summarily " left," notwith- 
standing his declaration that " Guiteau's prediction ought to cause 
his retention in office." Ah ! Corkhead, how simple in you not to 
know that the cigars and sherry of the " mutual friend " were far 
more weighty in Brewster's estimation than the prophecies of an 
hundred lunatics after the manner of Guiteau. 

True, Fitzgerald's business was destroyed by the conspirators, 
but he had the satisfaction of seeing the daisies growing on the 
political graves of all the men who were parties to the ruin of his 
vast interests. But let me recur to Dudley. This man seems to 
have had a most efficient ally in the person of the " figure head" 
Ferris, the titular second auditor. This creature greatly inter- 
ested himself in all of the Ohio pension cases just before the late 
October election in that State. The clerks in his office, if sum- 
moned before the proper congressional committee, would give all 
the particulars of how the public service was prostituted in the in- 
terest of the Republican party during the late election, on the ex- 
press orders of the man Ferris. This Ferris should be given an 
indefinite leave of absence as soon after the 4th of March as Mr. 
Cleveland can possibly find the time to reach the case of this in- 
finitesimally small New England codfish consumer. Although re- 
tired from the public service, Dudley is not poor, but on the con- 
trary is reputed to have money enough to engage in the banking 
business. By carefully perusing the foregoing, the public may 



148 SOCIAL AND POLITICAL LIFE IN WASHINGTON. 

draw its own conclusion as to the manner in which a thrifty public 
official has so suddenly transformed himself into a full-fledged 
banker. 

There is another phase of Dudley's warfare on Fitzgerald and 
others that should he comprehended by the public. Take Fitz- 
gerald, for instance. He had, perhaps, 50,000 clients who had paid 
liim the legal fees for prosecuting their cases. Of course, when he 
was disbarred these clients had to retain other attorneys to represent 
them before the Pension Office. As a matter of fact, the vast majority 
of them gave their cases to Lemon, or rather Lemon got control of 
the cases when he bought out Fitzgerald's business. Meanwhile Con- 
gress increased the fees to $25, It is safe to estimate that these poor 
soldier clients, in the aggregate, paid to Lemon no less than $700,000 
in fees to do the very work for which they had already paid Fitz- 
gerald, and who would have successfully prosecuted their cases 
had he not been so illegally suspended. Assistant Secretary 
Joslyn recently testified before a Congressional committee that 
Fitzgerald was restored by Teller with the express understanding 
that he would sell out his entire business to Lemon. Away down 
in Texas and Kentucky, where, in such cases, the laws become 
silent, the recipients of such villanous treatment as that accorded 
to Fitzgerald and other reputable attorneys would have resulted in 
the instantaneous resort to the '• shot-gun policy." If Mr. Dudley 
had cherished that high regard for the ' ' dear soldiers " which he pro- 
fessed, it is not probable that he would have instigated proceedings 
against pension attorneys upon pretexts so flimsy that the court 
would not permit the cases to go to trial, which resulted in their 
having needlessly to pay the $700,000 above referred to ia fees. 
There has been so serious a departure from equity and law in this 
whole matter as to prompt Congress and the courts to thoroughly 
investigate all the many suspicious details connected with what may 
be termed the most disgraceful episode that cropped out in an ad- 
ministration remarkable for unscrupulousness and jobbery. 

In conclusion, I will state that I have refrained from exposing 
the libidinous proclivities of the public characters herein discussed 
simply 1: ecause I desired to spare my readers the perusal of such 
sickening details. For weeks past such information has poured in 
upon me from all quarters, which, if published, would wreck 



SOCIAL AND POLITICAL LIFE IN WASHINGTON. 149 

manj' homes. With a charity that hopeth all things, &c., I invoke 
them to mend their ways. They have unwittingly rendered the 
nation a service in that their domination so disgusted the country 
that they have been swept from place and power. 

Verily, " righteousness exalteth a nation, but sin is a reproach 
to any people." 

THE END. 



Note.— The chapter entitled The Power of the Lobby was clipped from a 
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